


Karasuno Boarding School!

by acotede



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Canon, Angst, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Coming Out, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Relationships, Fluff, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Pining, Romance, Sexual Content, Sexuality Crisis, Slow Burn, Swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-23
Updated: 2018-01-07
Packaged: 2018-08-10 12:38:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 41,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7845274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acotede/pseuds/acotede
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hinata is one step closer to his dream of joining a successful volleyball team when he enrolls in the all-boys dormitories of Karasuno High. What happens when he finds out his roommate is his ultimate rival? [Tags and rating susceptible to change].</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am a SUCKER for roommate romances.

_Before my eyes, it blocks my path. A high, high wall. What sort of scene is on the other side?_

The Karasuno High School dormitories towered over Hinata as he looked on in awe, absorbing each windowpane and surrounding tree by turning in circles and taking lopsided steps towards the first-year building. The architecture was a silent testament to the beauty and reputation of the school; green ivy crawled over aged brick and the windows winked in the sunlight, some glowing vibrant colors from the stained glass set in taller precipices.

"Brother, watch where you're going!" Natsu squealed as Hinata bumped into his little sister.

"This. Is. Awesome!" he yelled in response, bolting for the front door, the two bags strapped to his back making his stride uneven. His mother followed with a rolling suitcase, a bulky cardboard box balancing precariously on top, held in place by his little sister.

 _My first year of high school. My first debut on a_ real  _volleyball team. My first year away from family._

Hinata was through the doors in an explosion he could not contain.

" _Shoyo!_ " his mother chastised, but the words were an echo. He nearly barreled into the first person he saw.

"Where can I find room 412?!" he panted, palms on his knees.

"Um… are you a first-year?"

Hinata caught his breath and looked up at the person he'd interrogated. The guy had soft brown eyes and a sturdy jaw, dark brown hair growing in short tufts on his head.

"Yes!" Hinata nodded.

"Eager, are we?" the man laughed loudly, the kind of laugh that filled Hinata with old memories. The word "man" came to mind because he had some very cool stubble on his chin. Hinata could not grow stubble. He couldn't even grow more than five feet, four inches tall.

"Shoyo, you can't just barge in like that, this is a proper school. Where are your manners?" His mother had caught up to him.

"Yeah, where are your manners?" Natsu chirped, hand still gripping his box of things.

"It's no trouble at all ma'am, I'm actually down here directing freshman. I'm a CA on the fourth floor. Guess this was meant to be, kid."

"CA?" Hinata asked.

"Community Assistant. Third-years can take on the responsibility of supervising other residents in return for free room and board. My name is Sawamura Daichi." He bowed a little to Hinata's mother.

"My name is Hinata Nanami, and this is my son, Hinata Shoyo. I'll be leaving him in your care."

"Of course," Daichi said, nodding in her direction.

"Just call me Hinata," Hinata grumbled.

"Hey! I'm Hinata _Natsu_!" cried his sister.

Daichi aimed a grin at the young girl with frizzy orange curls. "Nice to meet you all," he said.

"Yes. Well. Perhaps you could teach my boy some of those manners of yours."

" _MOM,_ " Hinata hissed.

"Don't worry about it." Daichi patted him on the shoulder, chuckling. "C'mon, I'll take you to your room."

The four of them wrangled Hinata's things into an elevator. "Do you know who your room assignment is?" Daichi asked.

"No, it was a last-minute applicant. But it's someone from the volleyball team!" Hinata got that gleam in his eye, his voice charged with excitement.

"Volleyball? You want to play volleyball?" Daichi looked down at Hinata, quite literally.

"Hey, I might be short, but I can jump!"

"I'd like to see that," Daichi mused.

"My brother plays volleyball every day," Natsu chimed in. "In Jr. High he even made a team of first-years and basketball players to go to a tournament."

Daichi looked surprised. "Just so you could play?"

Hinata nodded, completely serious. Daichi blinked. From the start, the kid had been a firecracker, crashing into him with an excited smile. But there was something in his eyes as bright as his orange hair when he spoke about volleyball. A  _something_ he recognized.

"Yes, my eager son took five other boys to a volleyball tournament and lost brutally the first round—"

" _Mom,_ " Hinata whined. The elevator dinged.

"—And yet he insists on playing that game every day, practicing every moment. He has spirit, that's for sure." She ruffled his hair.

"Spirit," Natsu nodded seriously. Daichi nodded too, without even realizing it, bewildered by this bizarre family.

They were a few steps down the hall when Daichi stopped in front of room 412. "Well, here it is. My room's 431, down the hall and around the corner. Come get me if you need anything, and I mean anything. I'm here for a reason. I gotta round up more first-years, but I look forward to seeing you later."

"Seeing me where?" Hinata asked, tilting his head.

"On the court, kid," Daichi said, already headed for the stairs.

"Huh?"

But Daichi was gone.

"Whaaaat?!" Hinata yelled. He looked at his mother, but she just gave him a knowing smile. She was so sweet on the outside, fiery hot on the inside. She didn't have his orange hair, that was dad's, but Hinata could see the same brightness under her skin, the strength of mind to pull a family together. He suddenly felt the realness of being without her cooking, her nagging, her temper. Her kindness. He ran at her.

"Shoyo," she breathed, as he pretty much knocked the wind out of her with the force of his hug. She wrapped her arms around him. "The only reason you're here is because I know you can do it. I know you can win."

Hinata hugged her tighter and swallowed the lump in his throat.

"Call me if anything happens. And remember, I love you, no matter what."

They released each other and she beamed at him. Hinata turned to his sister, who was rubbing at her eyes.

"I'm not crying," she mumbled, and his heart melted. The tears sprang forward.

"Neither am I," he said, running at her and pulling her off the ground, into his arms. "I'll see you on holidays. And I'll call. I'll write to you too, we can be pen pals. I promise."

"Yeah?" Natsu said into his neck.

"Yeah," he said.

Hinata let go, and his sister and mother said their final goodbyes. "You have your room key, right?" his mother asked.

He nodded. He'd kept the thing around his neck since the school sent it in the mail weeks ago.

"Good. Goodbye, Shoyo. See you soon!" They gave him a final round of hugs, then headed for the stairs.

Before he could process it, they were gone.

He wiped his eyes and slapped his cheeks. "Okay," he breathed. "Time to do this."

He turned his room key in the doorknob, but it was already unlocked. Pushing the door open, Hinata couldn't help but grin, ready to meet a fellow teammate.

"Hello! My name is—"

Hinata choked on his own words.

He saw his roommate standing in front of a box, unpacking things.

His roommate looked up at him and Hinata's jaw dropped, smile gone.

The boy had the same black hair, same stupid haircut he'd had a year ago.

His roommate was King of the Court, Kageyama Tobio.

"YOU!" Hinata yelled, pointing and stepping backwards, nearly falling over his suitcase. Heat crept into his face, anger flooding him, one powerful feeling overtaking another in an instant.

This was the beginning of his volleyball journey.


	2. Chapter 2

_"If you are the reigning 'King of the Court,' then I will beat you and knock that stupid crown off your head!"_

As far as righteous war cries go, Hinata's words from Jr. High were nothing spectacular. But he recalled them now as he stared upon a complete and utter nightmare.

"Kageyama Tobio," Hinata breathed, furious.

He'd only played one official volleyball game in his life. In that game, he only scored one point. His team had faced a crushing defeat by Kitagawa Daiichi Jr. High, a loss that was seared into his memory, his reason for practicing up until this moment. He had come to Karasuno to change those stats, and keep the hot-blooded, tear-stained promise he'd made to his ultimate rival.

"You're that kid from last year," Kageyama said slowly, taking in Hinata's orange hair and short stature. His face had thinned out, but his eyes were the same. Bright amber that could cut through anything with their intensity. "Were you… crying just now?"

Hinata was speechless, his chest heaving. He gritted his teeth when he remembered those words from a year ago:  _"What have you been doing the past three years?"_

Kageyama's voice was slightly deeper now, but there was no denying the similarity. Hinata wiped at the trails his tears had left behind.  _Why? Why, when everything was about to change?_  Kageyama's stupid, narrow eyes analyzed Hinata's entire figure, down to his fingertips. He always wore a perpetual glare, even now.

"What are you looking at?!" Hinata growled.

"I don't remember your name."

Arrogant, measured tone of voice. It made Hinata want to scream. So he did.

"My name is  _Hinata Shoyo_!" he bellowed. He could hear doors opening from down the hall. "But I  _understand_ ," he spat, "if you don't remember the captain of the team that lost in the first round of—"

Kageyama's eye's zeroed in on him with a chilling effect. "I definitely remember you."

Hinata swallowed his words. Kageyama wore a serious expression, his statement weighted with the memory of their first encounter. How could he forget Hinata? He remembered the boy who had more fighting spirit than his own teammates combined. The person who'd spiked an impossible ball with reflexes completely undeserving of such an incompetent player. The toss had slipped from the setter's hands by accident and Hinata moved with such speed that Kageyama could not comprehend how he'd gotten from one place to the other. He'd crashed into the water station to hit it, a display of dedication that Kageyama had never seen on his own team. The speed. The tenacity. The reflexes. That powerful jump. Kageyama could not forget. Years later, and he could recount every moment of that single play with complete precision.

"Do you want to fight or something?" Hinata ventured. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"What did you expect to achieve by coming to this school?" Kageyama demanded.

"Don't you  _dare_ look down on me! I came here to win, and to keep the promise I made to you a year ago!  _But I can't DO that if we're on the same damn team!_ " There were people listening now, drawn to the commotion, but Hinata was too antagonized to care.

"Is everything all right here?" Daichi was hovering outside the door of Hinata's room, a worried look on his face. "Do you already know each other?"

"How possible would it be to be reassigned to a different room?" Hinata turned to him.

"Pretty impossible," Daichi said. He looked from Hinata to Kageyama slowly. "I don't know what kind of history you two have, but you're stuck with each other for now. You might as well get used to it. We won't tolerate squabbling at practice this afternoon."

"We?" Hinata asked.

"That's the captain of the volleyball team, dumbass," came Kageyama's voice from behind.

"SHUT UP!" Hinata yelled. He glared at Kageyama, and then looked down at his feet, fists clenched.

Daichi was at a loss. "Um…"

"I'm sorry. I didn't know you were the captain," Hinata said.

"It's fine." Daichi took a deep breath and gave the kid one last serious stare. "The Karasuno volleyball team will no longer be known as the 'flightless crows.' Remember that when you come to practice this afternoon." He turned from Hinata to Kageyama, and then walked back down the hall.

"You're really unstable," Kageyama muttered, continuing to unpack his things.

"But at least I'm not a dick," Hinata shot back, bringing his bags into the room and shutting the door.

Anger dissipating, Hinata started to really look around.  _Bunk beds._ He'd always wanted bunk beds. Now he couldn't even be excited about that, or about meeting the captain of the team that once looked up to the skill of the Little Giant.

"If you keep saying big things with no conviction, you'll waste another three years."

Hinata's eyes pierced Kageyama. "Just because you're the 'King of the Court' doesn't give you the right to judge how I spend my time."

Kageyama went rigid. "Don't  _ever_ call me that." His voice was soft, but venomous. Hinata changed the subject.

"Are you on the top or the bottom bunk?" He'd begun to move a box to the empty desk across from the door. Kageyama had claimed the one on the left wall, a few meters from the bed. There were two dressers on the right-hand wall, next to the bathroom door. It would be impossible to separate the tension by dividing the room in half.

"Bottom."

Hinata looked at Kageyama, who had already turned away from him.  _I've always wanted to be top bunk._ It was what he wanted to say, but he couldn't feel happy in his heart. How could Kageyama understand that a short person like Hinata always liked to have the highest view?

"That's fine."

The two didn't talk while they unpacked. Hinata hated the silence, hated the atmosphere, but most of all, he hated  _hating_. It was tiring.

"Why were you crying?" Kageyama asked, giving Hinata a sideways glace. He didn't sound particularly interested, his eyebrows furrowed as he organized the books on his desk.

"Is it wrong to cry when you know you won't see your family for a while?" Hinata was rarely ashamed of his own tears.

"I wouldn't know."

Hinata's eyes whipped to Kageyama with confusion. The other boy did not notice, still focused on his things.

 _How can I come to understand this person? How can I beat him when he's on my team?_ Hinata couldn't wrap his brain around the situation.  _This is seriously messed up._

The two of them didn't say anything after that. The mood had been thoroughly killed.


	3. Chapter 3

As volleyball practice drew nearer, the tension in Kageyama and Hinata's room increased. If that were possible.

Hinata had migrated to his top bunk, where he was tossing a hacky sack in the air, hitting the ceiling and catching the ball on the rebound. Kageyama went to his dresser and began to change. Hinata heard the opening and closing of drawers, the rustle of clothes, and peered over the ledge of the top bunk.

Kageyama had whisked his shirt off, revealing the hard, corded muscle underneath, lean yet sturdy. Hinata flushed and turned away, annoyed. He didn't like changing in front of people, in boys' locker rooms, anywhere that would reveal his short stature and small physique. He'd been called an "elementary student" more times than he liked. While his wiry limbs and compact muscle maximized his speed and jump, Hinata was always drawn to the tall, muscular power of a typical ace. How had Kageyama grown so much in such a short amount of time?

When Kageyama had his practice shirt on, Hinata climbed off the top to get his own clothes, heading to the bathroom to change.

When the two were dressed, they left the room at the same time, duffle bags strapped across their chests. Slowly but surely, they began to accelerate in speed down the stairs, out the door, across the courtyard. Soon, the two were full-on racing.

It was clear that neither knew the way to the gymnasium. Despite this, both flew neck in neck across campus in order to reach volleyball practice first. Hinata was fast, but Kageyama had his height and stride.

When both boys reached the court, they were already covered in sweat, panting and pushing to be the first to squeeze through the metal sliding doors of the gym.

"I was here… first!" Hinata grunted, shoving Kageyama.

"It was a tie, dumbass, why do you think we're both fighting—urk—at the door!"

Finally, after each had given a hearty shove in the other's direction, they pushed through the opening and stared upon the veterans of the Karasuno volleyball team.

"Ah, first-years!" a boy with silver hair and thick, triangular eyebrows enumerated.

"That must be Kageyama Tobio," a more intimidating upperclassman said with a sneer. With his shaved head and small pupils, he looked absolutely terrifying.

"Welcome newcomers!" Hinata recognized Daichi and his eyes brightened, forgetting the incident that had occurred outside his room only hours before. Kageyama looked at each player with a measured expression, calculating the competition.

"I'm third-year setter and vice-captain, Sugawara Koushi," said the boy with silver hair. Kageyama's ears perked up.

"I'm third-year captain, Sawamura Daichi. That baldy over there is Tanaka Ryunosuke," he said. Tanaka glared at him.

"I'm  _not_ bald! I'm a second-year winged spiker."

Hinata's eyes sparkled.  _A spiker!_ He forgot about Kageyama and was lost in the atmosphere; that is, until they began discussing height. Kageyama was a bit taller than even the third-years, and they fawned over him.

 _High schoolers are huge,_ Hinata thought as he watched the older players, adoration glimmering in his eyes.

"Oh, so the 'Hinata Shoyo' on our roster—" Daichi started, looking from the orange hair to a piece of paper.

"—that's the shrimp from last year!" Tanaka interrupted, pointing.

"Last year?" Hinata tilted his head.

"We saw your opening game in the Jr. High tournament," said Sugawara.

"You were clumsy as fuck, but man, you had some serious guts!" Tanaka elaborated.

"That jump was impressive, too," Sugawara said.

"It's a good thing; he hasn't grown an inch," Tanaka replied.

"So the both of you ended up at Karasuno, huh?" Daichi mused. "I can't believe I didn't recognize you earlier. No wonder the two of you were fighting. You haven't seen each other since that match."

"I'm short, but I can still become Karasuno's ace!" Hinata declared. The group grew silent for a moment. Hinata's passion was apparent, the spark in his eyes making their pulses race.

"Only a first-year, and already claiming a top position?" Tanaka's eyes narrowed. "You sure have nerve, shrimp."

"I think it's better to have a larger goal in mind," Sugawara chuckled.

Kageyama's own glare bore into Hinata. "Shouldn't you improve your mediocre skills before talking like that?" he said.

"So they're not on good terms?" Sugawara whispered to Daichi. The captain shook his head.

"I gave that game everything I had! My effort wasn't a waste!" Hinata gritted his teeth.

Kageyama crossed his arms, looking positively disgusted.

"Listen guys," Daichi said, "please be aware that you're teammates now. Volleyball requires cooperation, and I told you earlier that we wouldn't allow—"

"—a match. To see who's better," Hinata challenged, stepping toe to toe with Kageyama.

" _Oi,_  Daichi was in the middle of talking!" Tanaka shouted.

"What kind of match?" Kageyama asked, suspicious.

" _Volleyball,_ what else?" Hinata yelled.

"…How would that even work."

"Huh? Um… passing, or something?"

"You can't win or lose by passing, can you?" Kageyama was in awe of Hinata's stupidity.

" _Dammit_ , are you first-years even LISTENING?!" Tanaka had a vein pulsing in in his forehead that looked as if it were about to burst.

"Serve." Hinata's command silenced the entire group. His eyes… no one could contend with those eyes.

Kageyama's expression didn't change.

"Serve to me, and I'll return it. I'll return every one, since I couldn't return any last year."

 _I'm pretty sure he returned at least one with his face,_ Kageyama thought, but he kept that to himself.

"I'm not the same player you fought in Jr. High," Hinata continued.

This caught Kageyama's attention. "Not the same player. Huh."

Then something strange happened. Kageyama returned Hinata's challenge with a smile, a smile that curdled Hinata's blood. He raised his hand, a practice ball snug in his palm. "I'm not the same as last year, either."

Hinata couldn't place the exact feeling of anticipation or excitement, but all of a sudden, he wanted to prove himself.

"Let's do this," Hinata said.

The two of them turned away to take a position at either end of the court. Hinata watched Kageyama with probing eyes. He was restless, his heart beating rapidly. The gym was silent.

Kageyama took a deep breath, and his body exploded. He ran forward, tossed the ball, and executed a perfect jumping serve that left his hand like a rocket.

 _He couldn't do that last year?!_ Hinata's brain squealed, and he narrowly avoided crushing his face by hitting the ball with his shoulder.

"Even  _I_ would've had trouble returning that," Tanaka whispered to Sugawara.

"How is that receive any different from last year?" Kageyama taunted.

Hinata's body language immediately changed. He adjusted his form and narrowed his eyes. "One more," he growled.

" _Hey_ —" Daichi called, but the two weren't listening. Kageyama already had another ball in his hand as he hit another powerful serve.

The ball flew a few meters from where Hinata was standing, but the boy was not about to lose again. His sneakers squeaked as he flew to the other side of the court, his golden eyes wide and on fire.

Kageyama looked on with hidden astonishment.  _His reflexes piss me off!_

The ball hit Hinata's forearms, but ricocheted off them and hit his face with a solid  _smack._

"You'll never be able to return properly like that, you shit," Kageyama said, walking towards Hinata. "All that 'I'm different from last year' stuff was a joke. You're still hopeless."

"Each of those comments was more than enough," Hinata mumbled.

"You two."

A chill suddenly swept through the gym and both first-years turned to the sound of the voice. Daichi looked calm, but his aura suggested murderous intent. The other upper-classmen looked scared stiff.

"I don't know the circumstances behind your coming here, but naturally I assume you came to win."

"Yes!" It was the first time Hinata and Kageyama had truly agreed on anything.

"Until several years ago, Karasuno was one of the top schools in the prefecture. We even went to nationals once. But now, we aren't really considered weak or strong. I told you earlier, our name among other schools is 'flightless crows.' I told you we would no longer allow our enemies to call us that." Daichi's expression was blank, but his voice had the conviction of metal forged in fire. "I'm not telling you two to be friends. I'm aware you were enemies in Jr. High. But I'm telling you now,  _and I will not repeat myself:_ if you wish to be on this team, you  _will_ act like teammates."

A shiver ran up Hinata's spine. Daichi may have sounded calm, but he was  _furious._

"I don't care of you're a prodigy, I don't care if you have passion; anyone who wastes their time bickering is  _a waste of time to me._ "

Daichi loomed over them with an overbearing presence, his fake smile the stuff of horror movies. He handed them club papers and escorted them to the door.

"Until you view each other as teammates, I will not allow you back into this gym."

Daichi shoved the two outside and slammed the sliding door in their faces.


	4. Chapter 4

Hinata woke to the sound of a muffled voice and turned over in his sleep. For a moment, he thought the noise was coming from his dream, and stayed caught in the folds of his subconscious, unwilling to relinquish the fantasy of playing volleyball on stilts. When the sound continued, he sat up reluctantly, rubbing crust from his eyes. Kageyama was talking in his sleep. Hinata looked at the clock. 1:57 a.m.

"Kageyama…?" he whispered groggily.

"N-no, please… don't…" The raw despair in the words made Hinata alert at once.

"Hey," he whispered again, "Kageyama, wake up."

"Mom… don't go, don't leave…"

Hinata climbed precariously from the top bunk—not that he needed to. Kageyama's tossing and turning caused any other movements to go unnoticed. Hinata padded to the side of the bottom bunk and swallowed at the sight of Kageyama. Hinata had never seen him wear that kind of expression before. Drenched in sweat, he looked as if he were the only person left in the world. It drew Hinata closer to the bed and tugged at his heart.  _I guess even an asshole like him can_   _hurt._

"Where did everyone  _go?_ " Kageyama's voice was raspy and choked. With that last line, the boy was ripped from sleep and he sat up violently in bed, panting. When he saw Hinata standing over him, he jumped.

"What the—what are you doing?" he growled, trying to mold his expression back into its usual glare. Hinata could see from a hint of moonlight that Kageyama was fighting tears.

"You were talking in your sleep and it sounded like a nightmare… I thought I should try and wake you up." Hinata scratched the back of his head, feeling sheepish.

"Go back to bed." Kageyama rubbed his eyes, his voice still hoarse from the dream.

"Can I do anything to help? T-talk, or—"

"Get the  _fuck_ away from me _._ " Kageyama lay back down and turned on his side, facing the wall. Hinata flinched, but he couldn't get angry. Not after what he just saw. Kageyama's heavy breathing made Hinata hesitate, but the squinty-eyed bastard stayed silent. Hinata frowned and slipped into the bathroom, turning on the tap. Kageyama's ears pricked at the noise and he sighed, curling into a tighter ball.  _Why him, of all people? What did he hear?_ He looked at his hand, which was shaking. The dream had been particularly bad, as they usually were when his mother was involved. But the image that had startled him awake was one of an empty court.

He didn't want to talk about those things.

Kageyama heard footsteps draw closer to the edge of his bed again, so he pretended to be asleep. Hinata set something down on his nightstand, hovered for a moment, and then climbed up into his own bunk. Kageyama didn't dare to glance at what it was until a few minutes had passed.

It was a glass of water.

His heart clenched and he sat up. Sleep would be impossible now, with Hinata's accidental intrusion, sudden kindness, and the lingering terrors of the dream. Kageyama's head was spinning.

He grabbed the glass of water and chugged, making no attempt to silence his greedy gulps. It was the only "thank you" he would allow. He set the glass down and ran a hand through his damp hair, letting a heavy stream of breath out through his nose. Though he was a private person, so much had happened in the past few days that Kageyama didn't think Hinata could be avoided. Living with the ball of energy was proving to be a challenge, testing his patience and emotions every minute of every day. This was just another example of Hinata witnessing a part of him that he'd wanted to keep buried. Without realizing it, Kageyama found himself rewinding through the memories of the past few days, events that followed Daichi kicking them off the court…

* * *

_"If I had to play with Hinata as he is now… whether it's receiving, tossing, or spiking, I'd rather do it myself than with him!"_

These were the words that started the whole mess, among others:  _idiot, useless, dumbass, helpless, inept,_ etc. The pushing and shoving hadn't helped, either. After Kageyama's display of stubbornness, there was no way for the two of them to join the team until some kind agreement had been reached.  _I can't play until they see I'm civil with him. Whether or not I view him as a teammate is irrelevant._

Kageyama gritted his teeth and glared at the ground. "Dammit! I have the potential to make them all better! Why can't they see that?"

Hinata, who'd been clinging to the windowsill to peer into the gymnasium, jumped to the ground with raised eyebrows. "Isn't that kind of cocky to say?"

Kageyama ignored him, mostly because he didn't think it was. "Let's challenge them to a 2-on-2 match on the condition that if we win, they'll let us join. You're annoying, but it's the fastest way to get back on the team."

"Are you sure we can do that? They  _are_  upperclassmen."

"We can. Because I'm here."

It was Hinata's turn to glare. "Why are you even  _at_ Karasuno? There are other schools with a better chance at earning a championship title."

Kageyama grimaced. "As far as the number one school in the prefecture… I didn't get in."

Hinata looked at him, all of his feelings conveyed through one solid stare.  _Then why are you looking down on me?_

Kageyama turned away, annoyed. "Just try not to hold me back."

Hinata looked at the doors of the gym, the sounds of volleyball echoing from inside. "The only game I every played was against you," he said, suddenly calm from the nostalgia. "Before then, we didn't even have enough players to enter a tournament. I had to practice in the halls of my Jr. High. When I finally stood on that official court, my heart was like… 'Guaww!'"

 _Guaww…?_ Kageyama turned to face the idiot who could actually say that without a hint of embarrassment. Hinata's passionate expression caught him off guard.

"That game only lasted thirty minutes."

Kageyama closed his eyes, losing his patience. "Only strong players can remain on the court." Hinata nodded in agreement, his eyes glowing with excitement.

"If it means I get to stay on the court longer, I can definitely play volleyball with you."

The intensity of Hinata's stare made Kageyama feel flustered. "Th—that's  _my_ line, asshole!" Kageyama yelled.

The two of them made their proposition to Daichi and a 3-on-3 match was settled, first-years vs. first-years. In fighting for his approval, Hinata began to change Kageyama in the days leading up to the practice match.

* * *

"WHERE DID YOUR SERVE AND RECEIVE REFLEXES FROM YESTERDAY GO?!" Kageyama bellowed.

"If all we do is practice passing, I won't have time to learn to spike your tosses!" Hinata whined. He was on the ground, panting. He thought he could ignore Kageyama's personality as long as he was practicing on a real court, as long as he had a setter. But Kageyama refused to toss to him.

"Go jump somewhere else," Kageyama growled.

The two of them had been practicing every morning at 5 a.m., courtesy of Tanaka. The second-year had been letting the boys into the gym with a spare key, even joining their practices, as he was the addition to their team of three. Sugawara was interested in their progress as well, and came to join the excitement every morning. All this was a complete secret from Daichi, who didn't seem too happy with Hinata and Kageyama since their disagreement in the gym.

Tanaka was the only one spiking during practice, the only person Kageyama would toss to.

"Why won't you let me try?" Hinata begged. "Just one toss! You like tossing, so send me one! I wanna spike like Tanaka."

"No."

" _Why?_ Stingy!"

"You have to be able to receive the toss to attack. Right now you're too slow at receiving, so I'll be tossing to Tanaka during our 3-on-3. Just do your best not to slow us down."

Hinata looked at him, suddenly serious. His emotions bounced all over the place, as erratic as the volleyball with which they were practicing. It exhausted Kageyama.

"If I receive in a way that's up to your standards, will you toss to me?"

Kageyama huffed. "If it's someone who's essential to winning, I'll always toss to them. But I've never considered you essential to winning."

It was the kind of statement that made Tanaka and Sugawara look at each other, sharing pity for Hinata. Hinata didn't look defeated, however—he just looked hurt and angry. He continued trying to receive, even though it was the kind of skill that took years of practice to master, not days.

 _If he didn't suck so much, I would admire his dedication,_ Kageyama thought. Practice continued on as it had, the tense atmosphere between Kageyama and Hinata unyielding.

* * *

School had begun, and to his irritation, Kageyama found that he and Hinata were in many of the same remedial classes.

 _Why does he have to be just as stupid in school as he is on the court?_  Kageyama thought, finding that when they weren't practicing, they were bickering about everything from volleyball to school work, dawn to dusk. Kageyama couldn't really complain, however, because where he struggled in math, Hinata could muddle through the numbers, and he found himself helping the pest with English, a subject that he himself didn't entirely suck at. As for the rest of their classes, both of them sat dazed at their desks, baffled by their assignments.

Kageyama still wouldn't toss to Hinata. It had gotten to the point where even Sugawara felt the need to intervene, which is exactly what he did when he found Hinata practicing through his lunch break instead of eating with his classmates.

Kageyama, purchasing milk form a nearby vending machine, stumbled upon the two and paused to eavesdrop, sipping his drink.

"How about I toss to you tomorrow morning, Hinata?"

Hinata stopped bouncing the ball around and turned to his teammate, eyes shining. "Really?!"

"I _am_  the team's official setter. It will give you a chance to practice spiking."

"Sure! Ah, but…" Hinata's face fell and Sugawara looked confused.

"What is it?"

"It feels like if I let you toss to me, Kageyama will have won. Or something like that."

Hinata looked irritated, almost embarrassed that Kageyama was on his mind. From behind the vending machine, Kageyama himself raised his eyebrows.

"Why are you so competitive with Kageyama?"

"When I met him in Jr. High, he was better at volleyball in every way. He's really strong… a notch above me, in a place I can't seem to reach. When I see him play, I get pissed off because I want to be better than he is. I came to Karasuno to beat him, but…"

"So you play volleyball to defeat him?"

"I… want to be as good as him, so I can play anyone on equal footing. I don't want to lose anymore."

Kageyama mindlessly crushed his milk carton at those words, deep in thought.

"In your mind, he's the strongest player?"

Hinata screwed up his face and frowned, clearly upset. "Y-yeah."

Kageyama smiled.

"Well, I guess you have to stop thinking of him in terms of 'Kageyama is my strongest enemy.' Because now he's your 'strongest ally,' right?"

Hinata turned the words over in his head, nodding slowly. "I want him to toss to me. I want him to think of me as 'essential to winning.'" Hinata's forehead had creased, but after saying those words, he slapped his cheeks, catching Sugawara off guard. "Being down about it won't do anything. Let's keep practicing!"

"But… the bell just rang for class."

Sugawara and Hinata both laughed, sheepishly dispersing and waving goodbye. Kageyama stood where he was, pondering Hinata's praise.

* * *

"How long have they been at it?"

Tanaka had just strolled into the gym at 5:30 a.m. the next morning to see Hinata and Kageyama passing. Kageyama was hitting his incredible serves to give Hinata a chance to receive.

"They've been at it fifteen minutes straight," Sugawara said, watching from the sidelines. "The ball hasn't hit the ground yet." Tanaka gave a low whistle.

"They're ridiculous," he murmured. He watched for a bit. "It seems Hinata is using his speed to his advantage, even though he still has poor form for receives."

"STOP GOING EASY ON ME!" Hinata yelled to Kageyama, who had, up until that point, been holding back on his serves.

"Tch."  _What a noisy brat,_ Kageyama thought. Always irritating him about spiking, about school, about becoming "essential to winning." Kageyama didn't know why he was so aggravated with Hinata, but he let out the frustration by serving a ball impossible to receive.

 _Shit,_ he thought.

"What a rotten kid," Tanaka mumbled.

"Wait." Sugawara was watching Hinata intensely, watching those amber eyes follow the ball. Hinata's primal reaction piqued Sugawara's interest. "Hinata's best quality is his determination."

Hinata went for the ball in a blaze of motion. The sprint alone was an unbelievable pace, his dive completely primal. Hinata flew forward to get his wrist under the serve, across the court in seconds despite his pained expression. With his limbs working like a machine, Hinata's skin slipped under the ball and returned it, his body taut as he slid on his stomach a few feet before stopping. Kageyama stood, watching intently, wondering why his heart was pounding, why he felt angry and confused and excited.

 _He doesn't give up. Even if he's in pain, which he_ clearly _is, he takes another step, faster than the first. This is only practice, and yet… why does he sacrifice so much for the ball? And why does it piss me off?_

"His power to overcome a disadvantageous physique and poor set of technical skills is what makes Hinata the ultimate weapon," Sugawara said with a smile.

Kageyama's eyes watched the ball that flew towards him, memories flashing through his head as it sailed closer and closer.

_Even when his team was losing 24 to 1, he kept going, because "they hadn't lost yet."_

_"I… want to be as good as him, so I can play anyone on equal footing. I don't want to lose anymore."_

_"Just one toss! You like tossing, so send me one!"_

Kageyama took a deep breath and settled his heart. He understood why he was irritated with Hinata's passion, the determination, the stubbornness. It mirrored his own.

Kageyama took the ball in both hands and tossed it.

"Does Hinata even have any strength left to get that?" Tanaka asked.

Sugawara gave him an uncertain glance.

It was only Kageyama who knew without a doubt that Hinata would get to his feet.

Hinata saw Kageyama's toss and his eyes ignited with complete and utter bliss. The smile that broke out across his face was so wide it took even Kageyama by surprise. His breathing steadied and he ran for the ball, sneakers squeaking on the gym floor. Kageyama looked on as Hinata jumped, sailing through the air with grace, his shirt rising above his midriff as he reached his highest peak. Hinata spiked the ball in a blaze of speed, grinning from ear to ear. At the sight of the complete and utter joy in Hinata's smile, something opened in Kageyama's chest that he didn't quite understand. He wouldn't be able to look at Hinata the same way again, his breath stolen from the precision in Hinata's movements. Whenever he told the squirt that he sucked at volleyball, he would remember this moment and know he was lying.

The spike slammed into floor on the opposite side of the net with a satisfying  _smack_ and Hinata hit the floor, on his knees. He looked up at Kageyama with a disgusting amount of adoration. "I spiked it! I  _spiked_  it!"

Kageyama nodded. He paused, and Hinata's smile faded from the force of Kageyama's serious look. "On Saturday… let's win it."

Sugawara smiled at the moment.  _Daichi, I think I understand. Getting them to respect one another was the first step in making them unstoppable. Hinata finally has a teammate that will help him grow, and it seems he won't let Kageyama revert to his selfish attitude._

Tanaka was confused. "Wasn't that just a regular toss? Why is the shrimp so happy?"

Hinata grinned, looking up at his "strongest ally."

Then he clenched his stomach and puked all over the gym floor.

* * *

These memories spun in Kageyama's head as he sat in the darkness of their room, listening to Hinata's breathing, now steady as the boy slipped into sleep. Kageyama drew his arms around his knees, pressing his cheek into his leg and sighing, his eyes still swollen from the dream, his sweat cooling on his back.

There were some things he didn't want tangerine-head to see, and Kageyama still didn't trust Hinata's volleyball techniques at all—only the idiot's determination and speed. Just because they were roommates didn't mean they were friends.

But one thing Kageyama knew for certain—Hinata was already changing him, and it was terrifying as hell.


	5. Chapter 5

Kageyama was apprehensive when he woke the next morning, dark circles under his eyes and a pit in his stomach. The last thing he wanted was for Hinata to act strange the day before their 3-on-3 match. It was 4:45 a.m., and he hadn't really slept since Hinata woke him in concern. Kageyama didn't need any pity, and would not hesitate to deflect it.

Hinata yawned and stretched, then began to climb down from his bed. His foot missed a rung on the ladder and he fell, crashing to the ground like a fool.

 _How does a person like that even function?_  Kageyama thought groggily. He slipped out from beneath the blankets and began to change for practice.

Hinata had gotten to his feet, groaning. He turned to face a shirtless Kageyama and jumped. "Can't you warn a guy when you're about to get naked? We get it, you're a perfect specimen," he grumbled, putting his hands up and squinting to mimic being blinded.

Kageyama looked down at his chest, frowning. "This is my room, and I'm going to change in it. If you have a problem, you can use the bathroom." It seemed Kageyama had nothing to worry about. Hinata was acting completely normal. Or completely idiotic, depending on how you looked at it.

"Alright, King, whatever."

Kageyama gripped the practice shirt in his hand and lowered his eyes. "I said don't call me that."

Hinata was surprised at the softness in his anger. Kageyama was usually so explosive.

"Uh, sorry." Hinata grabbed clothes from his dresser. "I'll try and remember." He disappeared into the bathroom to change.

Kageyama blinked in astonishment at the apology. Having a roommate delivered a landmine of surprises—while he and Hinata could bicker over the most insignificant things, it wasn't as if they didn't get along, either. Hinata had been unusually receptive since Kageyama began tossing to him.

Their morning practice passed in a hazy blur. Hinata still sucked at receiving, irritating Kageyama to no end, but his spirit was impossible to beat into the ground. With every spike, Hinata's ambition grew.

Entering their first class, already exhausted, Kageyama and Hinata noticed a group of guys hovering around one particular desk. Animated by curiosity, Hinata began squeezing through crowd to see the source of the excitement, Kageyama following reluctantly.

"Tanaka let me borrow one of his magazines and it is so  _sweet!_ " their classmate gushed. The other boys were trying to flip through the pages greedily.

"What is it? The latest  _Shonen Jump_?"

The other boys looked at Hinata and then burst out laughing. "No way! Why would we be so excited about  _that?_ " one of them said. "Here, take a look."

It didn't take Hinata long to see the pink flesh in the pictures and draw a conclusion.

It was a porn magazine.

Kageyama had just made it to the desk in time to see the contents of the pages and make a disgusted face. Hinata was white, his eyes averted.

"Juvenile," Kageyama muttered. When he saw Hinata frozen in place from shock, he grabbed the back of his collar and yanked. "Come on," Kageyama growled. The other boys were too fascinated by the female anatomy to care.

Kageyama made his way to his desk, dragging Hinata behind him. Their seats were at the back of the class next to the window. The only reason Kageyama could tolerate sitting next to Hinata was because those were the only two seats available.

The late bell rang and the two of them shuffled their stuff around. Hinata was flustered, sweating as he moved things around in his messenger bag.

"Uh. Kageyama."

"What."

"I forgot my book for this class. Can I look on with you?"

"Is it my fault you're an idiot?" Kageyama hissed.

"I didn't say it was your fault!"

"No."

"Come on, please?" Hinata whined.

"No!"

The two of them continued bickering until the teacher called them out for being loud.

"Hinata, did you forget your book?" the instructor asked.

Hinata nodded slowly. The teacher sighed. "Look on with Kageyama. Remember it next time or there will be consequences."

Kageyama looked livid, a black aura surrounding him. Hinata scooted his desk closer sheepishly.

As the teacher began the lesson, Kageyama and Hinata drifted off into thought, as they usually did—overtired from volleyball practice and lost in complicated instruction, it was easy to slack by staring out the window. After a bit of daydreaming, however, Kageyama asked a strange question in a hushed voice.

"Do those kinds of magazines interest you?"

His voice was serious, pragmatic, and completely unabashed regarding the topic. Hinata flushed.

"N-No, not really."

Kageyama paused. "I've never thought about that kind of thing before. I'm always thinking about volleyball."

Hinata fidgeted in his seat, but his voice was surprisingly firm. "It's not that I've never thought about that sort of thing. But in my mind what's important is the emotional part, right? The focus is more on like… the emotional 'gwaaa' or something… so those pictures just make me uncomfortable." Hinata was looking at his hands. This was the last conversation he ever expected having with Kageyama. In the middle of Algebra.

Kageyama looked at him, frowning as usual. "Hmm."

 _Hmmm?_ Hinata thought.  _That's all he has to say?!_ Kageyama turned towards the window, dropping the subject.  _Was he worried that he had the wrong reaction to magazine?_ Hinata wondered, hoping his response had been adequate, as poorly phrased as it was. What on earth kind of answer had Kageyama been expecting? The conversation didn't continue, much to the boy's relief. To be honest, Hinata didn't think much about that sort of thing, either.

* * *

Hinata and Kageyama practiced well into dusk after class that afternoon, staying in t-shirts despite the chill due to their strict concentration on the game.

 _He still really sucks…_ Kageyama thought, sending his orange-haired partner tosses and serves, learning Hinata's movements like a map—more so than he realized. Kageyama didn't practice one-on-one very often, but before their match, it was all he could really do.

He tossed a little too hard in Hinata's direction and the ball landed in a tree, wedged solidly in the crook of two branches.

"What did I say about going easy when we're outside?!" Hinata yelled. "You sent it flying!"

"It wouldn't be a problem if you could receive the ball," Kageyama shouted back.

Grumbling, Hinata inched up the tree with ease, lithe in his movements. "Damn King." Hinata felt the glare and covered his mouth, perching on one of the lower branches.  _It's not even a terrible name,_ Hinata thought, the mood soured. He felt a little guilty, but was tired and irritated by Kageyama's relentless temper.

After retrieving the ball, the two continued practice, until one of Kageyama's tosses was caught one-handed by a towering figure looming over Hinata.

"Wow, they really have to practice outside?" a smooth voice taunted, tossing the volleyball up and down with his palm.

The enormous boy had a friend—"Why are they wearing t-shirts? It's freezing!"

Hinata turned to face the interruption and Kageyama drew loser to the commotion.

"Give that back!" Hinata growled, trying to recover from the initial shock of the boys' heights.  _They're huge,_ he thought. The one holding the ball had short blond hair, struggling to curl despite its length, and thick glasses, frosting on the cake of his superiority complex.

"Shouldn't elementary students be heading home at this hour?" he teased, keeping the ball just out of Hinata's reach.

"Who the hell—"

"—So you're the incoming first-years," Kageyama interrupted coolly, evaluating the two boys. He'd made his way to Hinata's side, his typical scowl in place.

Hinata's irritation spiraled. "Hey, I was  _talking—_ "

"And you're the first-years who got kicked out the first day," the blond boy responded, measuring Kageyama with an amused expression.

"How tall are you?" Kageyama asked.

"Tsukki is almost 6 feet, 2 inches!" the boy behind glasses stated. He had a much less menacing aura, being shorter, with shaggy, dark hair and a softer expression.

"What are you bragging about, Yamaguchi?" Tsukki asked.

Hinata's irritation changed to awe, clearly thrilled by Tsukki's height. "Over six feet," he whispered.

Kageyama turned to the carrot-head, his arms crossed.  _As easy to read as a book. As soon as his emotions change, you can see them on his face, plain as day._

"…You're Kageyama Tobio from Kitagawa Daiichi Jr. High, aren't you?" Tsukki asked. Kageyama glanced back at him.

"What of it?"

"Why is a potential elite attending Karasuno?"

"HEY," Hinata interrupted. "Tomorrow, we will definitely  _win,_ you got that?!"

Tsukki turned to him with mild interest. "Oh? Okay."

Hinata blanched. "Huh?"

"I don't really give a shit if we win or lose… since it would be troublesome if you guys lost, we'd throw the match of you wanted."

"What the hell?!" Hinata yelled, angry again. The idea to him was inconceivable.

"Whether you throw it or not," Kageyama glared, "the fact that I'll win won't change."

"You mean 'we!'" Hinata reminded loudly.

"What a cocky King," Tsukki taunted. Kageyama went rigid, anger sweeping through him like a tide.

 _No matter who it is, he really hates that name,_ Hinata thought, uneasy.

"Don't call me that," Kageyama growled.

"Oh, so it's  _true_ then!" Tsukki's eyes widened with delight. "That the Royal Highness doesn't like his nickname 'King of the Court.'"

"I  _said_ —"

"I saw you at the Jr. High prefecture semi-finals."

Kageyama froze, his eyes going wide and cold. Hinata looked on with concern. He couldn't help but think of Kageyama's expression the night before, tossing and turning, mumbling all those lonely, cryptic things.  _What does this guy know that I don't?_

"…Your team suffered from your selfish tosses. Hardly anyone would be able to receive such a reckless ball. In the end, they  _wouldn't tolerate it._ "

Tsukki looked smug, but Kageyama didn't retort as he normally would. Instead, something settled in his eyes beyond anger, an emotion that looked as if he were protecting himself from the world. He grabbed Tsukki by his shirtfront, livid.

"Kageyama," Hinata said, catching hold of his shirtsleeve. The boy did not seem his usual self. He was truly upset.

"…We're done here," Kageyama said, shoving Tsukki and turning away, breaking free from the hold Hinata had on his shirt.

"Tomorrow, I think we'll try and truly win against your Highness, and then—"

"That's  _enough!_ " Hinata leaped up, reaching for the volleyball in Tsukki's hand. The blondie didn't expect Hinata's sudden height as he snatched the ball away, landing lightly on the ground, glaring. Though Kageyama was already several feet away, he paused to watch. Yamaguchi, who had been standing back apprehensively, gaped at Hinata's powerful jump. Tsukki's eyes were wide.

"Enough with the 'King' and 'your Highness' shit! I'm here too, and  _I'm_ going to be the one to spike this ball past your stupid head tomorrow!"

Tsukki regained his composure and narrowed his eyes, disgusted. Hinata's gall evaporated from the intense look. He suddenly wished he could just go back to his room and sleep.

A wide smile broke out across Tsukki's face, repulsively fake. "Why would I want to fight with my teammate over such a stupid match?"

"Just a stupid—?" Hinata managed to gurgle in anger. But Tsukki and Yamaguchi were already walking away.

"Looking forward to the King's toss!" Tsukki shouted as he retreated towards the dorms, his friend on his heels.

Hinata walked towards Kageyama with clenched fists. "What was up with him!? We'll definitely knock them down a peg tomorrow and—"

"Stop saying whatever you feel like," Kageyama said, sighing. His hands were shoved deep into his pockets and he looked at the ground as he walked.

Hinata shivered a little from the cold, but continued on, unperturbed. "You really do have a bad personality. I mean, all that ' _I_  will win' even though it's 3-on-3. Don't take what four-eyes said to heart."

Despite being an idiot, Hinata was more perceptive than he knew. Tsukki's words were turning over and over in Kageyama's mind. "Like I'd let that get in the way of a win," he muttered.

Hinata smiled. "Its friggin'  _cold!"_ he yelled, beginning to jog towards the dorm building, the volleyball in his arms throwing his stride into discord. Kageyama sped up, matching his pace.

The two slept soundly that night. Despite the match weighing on their mind, a strong resolve sent them both into dreamland almost immediately.


	6. Chapter 6

Kageyama wasn't used to having a roommate. He didn't really know the patterns of other people, what "normal" behavior was. He knew volleyball. As long as he had that to perfect, everything else was inconsequential.

He still found it strange that Hinata  _had_ to change in the bathroom, no matter the circumstances. Even after their practices together, he waited to shower in their room so he could change in their personal bathroom, rather than use the gym locker rooms. It was just a small thing he'd noticed about Hinata, among other things—that the boy had brought an electric kettle from home so he could drink tea at his desk. That he could only comb his hair when it was wet, or else it would be frizzy. That he wrote with his left hand, but hit a volleyball with his right. Kageyama wondered if he made small impressions on his roommate in a similar manner, or if it was just in his nature to observe people closely, to reflect on their behaviors, to try and interpret their actions.

He wondered how Hinata even functioned.

The boy's messenger bag was swimming with food wrappers and ripped papers and notebooks creased at odd angles. He wasn't a disgusting person, only the most disorganized human being Kageyama had ever encountered. You would think the same boy who could sip tea quaintly at his desk would be one to keep papers in order and stay calm on a court.

Wrong.

Kageyama rolled over on his back and faced the wood planks that supported Hinata's bunk.

_In the end, they wouldn't tolerate it._

"Wow, what an ugly face," Hinata said, exiting the bathroom during Kageyama's reverie. His school uniform was wrinkled, his tie too loose. "Maybe you can paralyze glasses kid with your expression. We'd win for sure."

"Shut up. Maybe you can blind him with whatever it is you're hiding under your clothes."

Hinata looked down at his shirt. "What are you talking about?"

"You never change in front of anyone. I'm suspicious you're hiding scales or a second pair of arms."

Hinata reddened. "I'm not hiding anything! I can change wherever I want. If you don't get up soon, we'll be late to class." He grabbed his bag.

Kageyama rolled over to face the wall.

"Wait, you're not still upset from what that Tsukki dingus said, are you?"

"Did you just say 'dingus?'"

"If you are, you're more stupid and self-obsessed than I thought."

"You little sh—"

Hinata walked over to the edge of Kageyama's bed and pinched his side. The squeeze was meant to tickle, and Kageyama's spasm revealed his ultimate weakness.

"OooOOooh, not so tough now—"

Kageyama was growling, on the verge of yelling as he ripped off his covers, reaching to pulverize his orange-haired nuisance of a roommate in nothing but boxers. Hinata, amused and slightly faster, raced for the door and slammed it behind him, putting a barrier between him and the agitated Kageyama.

"See you in class!" he yelled. He heard venomous muttering from the other side of the door.

"That's more like it," he said, making his way to first period.

* * *

Kageyama was in his mood all day. Distant. Easy to anger, but the agitation only surfacing for a moment before memories drowned the expression. Poking and tickling was not going to solve the problem.

Hinata walked onto the court, trying to push triangle-bangs out of his head. His attention was captured for a moment by the sight of a beautiful woman, with a cool gaze behind her glasses and hair the gleamed under the fluorescent lights.

"Hey Kageyama, is that our manager?" Hinata asked, noticing her sports outfit and clipboard. But the words just seemed to bounce off of Kageyama's skull.

"Alright, now that everyone's here, let's get started!" Daichi called. "I'll be joining Tsukishima's group—"

"What?!" Hinata interjected. "But you're the captain!"

"It's fine," he replied. "Tanaka has more offensive power than me, anyway."

As soon as Hinata and Kageyama had arrived, Tsukki's eyes narrowed with mischief, his lips turned upwards. He turned towards Yamaguchi, speaking too loudly in a taunting manner:

"I wonder who we should crush first… the shrimp or the King?"

"Tsukki, they can hear you…"

"I'm aware," the blond smiled. "I just can't wait to see the King's face when he loses."

Daichi was silent with an unchanging expression, but he was carefully evaluating each of the newcomers.

"It would be silly to lose composure over such a trivial taunt," Tsukki mused. "Still, a King who's abandoned by his retainers would be a sight worth seeing, I imagine."

Kageyama's frown deepened.

"Did you hear that?" Tanaka asked, looking around. "I might have been imagining it, but I thought I heard a  _maggot that needs to be squashed_."

Hinata stuck his tongue out. Tanaka looked as if he were about to rip his shirt off. Kageyama tried to maintain a cool and indifferent expression and failed.

The match began.

The teams were evenly matched with different strong points—Daichi's receives were dependable, making Kageyama's serves playable, hits that the boy once thought were invincible. Tsukki was also a solid defender, his height and calculative demeanor proving a challenging opposition. Yamaguchi was nervous, but had a firm grasp of the game, unlike Hinata, who, despite his speed and jump, still lacked in virtually every other skill area. Tanaka was a great offender, and Kageyama was determined to use that.

The first point went to Tanaka, spiking a hard ball right past Tsukki's block.  
"THAT'S RIGHT!" he screamed, actually ripping off his shirt and swinging it about his head.

As the match continued, and Hinata heard his name, heard the magic sound escape Kageyama's lips. The call for a toss.

 _This is it!_ He thought, his body following instinct, speed and height putting him in a position to do his favorite thing on the planet.  _I can score._

But when his hand connected with the ball, his spike hit Tsukki's hand and it bounced right back into their side of the court. Hinata stood, stunned.

 _A high, high wall,_ he thought, memories of Jr. High floating through his brain.

"It surprised me the other night too, your jump!" Tsukki said. "Now if you were only a foot taller, you could be a superstar!"

Hinata gritted his teeth.  _Even here, even after all that practice, I still can't make it over that wall…_

_No. I'll keep trying._

"One more!" Hinata called.

A toss came his way again; was blocked again.

"How many does that make?" Sugawara asked from the sidelines.

"I'll just keep blocking it, you know," Tsukki said. "You should use your secret 'King's Toss,' the one that obliterates all blockers." He turned to Kageyama. "I'm sure your old spiker remembers it well."

Kageyama had been preparing for a serve before this one comment. After the words were spoken, the mood changed.

"Even if I don't have speed,  _I'll still win._ "

Kageyama used the emanating silence to serve. He ran forward and jumped, muscles taught, ready to obliterate the ball with a powerful serve. His aura was black.

Everyone on the court was in awe. Even more so when Daichi received it.

"Damn it," Kageyama muttered.

"Daichi's defense is spot on," Tanaka sympathized.

"You're not in Jr. High any more!" Daichi called from across the court. His expression was fiery. "I've been receiving serves like that for two years. It'll take more than that to stop me."

Kageyama clenched his fists.

"What's wrong, your highness? Shouldn't you be getting serious?"

Hinata, unusually quiet up until the point, ignited like a struck match. "What is  _with_ you and this 'King' bullshit?! Can't you just play decent match?"

"Oh? Do you not even know what his nickname means?"

"Uh, that he's really good… and other teams are afraid of him? Something like that?"

Tsukki laughed in a repulsive manner. "I guess that's one way to look at it. But from what I've heard, it was a name bestowed by his very own teammates at Kitagawa Daiichi Jr. High. Meaning an egotistical king. A tyrannical dictator. And from what I saw at the prefecture semi-finals, I am in full agreement. He was so oppressive in that match that he was forcefully benched."

The gym was silent. Hinata looked towards Kageyama for confirmation and found the expression of someone drowning. He was staring at the court, grimacing. Sweat rolled down his face. Hinata thought of the nightmare he'd unintentionally overheard, and saw the same desperation in Kageyama's face now.

_Where did everyone go?_

"Your movements are slower now because deep down, you're afraid," Tsukki taunted. "You still have that match playing over and over again in your head."

"I think you've done enough talking, bastard—" Tanaka began, but Daichi silenced him with a shake of his head. The captain was collecting important information about his new players, and hoped they would resolve this mess themselves.

"You're right."

Kageyama's words were barely spoken, but everyone in the court turned to the sound of his voice.

"The idea of sending a toss to a place where no one will be, all because I'm hated—it scares me. It terrifies me to my very core."

"But that was a story from Jr. High, wasn't it?" Hinata interjected, immune to the deflating atmosphere. "You toss to me just fine, and that's all that really matters. If you end up acting like a jerk, I'll just tell you."

Daichi chuckled and Tanaka outright laughed.

"The problem is figuring out how to take you down!" Hinata continued, pointing at Tsukki.

Everyone was laughing, and even Kageyama, who had been carrying a great weight earlier, was now looking down at his redheaded partner with a mix of wonder and irritation.

 _How can he take those kinds of burdens and turn them into balloons? Easy to break, or float away._ Kageyama hadn't even reached the tip of the iceberg when it came to the complexity of people, of teammates, of Hinata.

"Look, we're gonna win, and you're gonna be setter, and then you can toss to me! That's all there is to it. And stop looking at me like that, it's gross," Hinata rambled. Kageyama couldn't help his narrowed eyes, his confusion. He had nothing to say, all words gone. He almost felt a little happy.

"That kind of blind, straightforward emotion truly irritates me," Tsukki muttered, walking back to his position. "You can't make up for height with fighting spirit."

Hinata looked at Kageyama and grinned.

The match continued, pressures high, and a strange new mix of emotions in the air. Kageyama felt lighter. He received the ball and had a split second to decide which of his teammates he would toss to.  _Tanaka will probably be able to—_

" _KAGEYAMA!"_

Hinata's cry tore from his throat, the boy already in the air before Kageyama's fingertips had time to register the ball. It was pure instinct. Kageyama  _felt_ the intense aura beside him.

"I'm here!" Hinata yelled.

Kageyama made his decision.

The toss was beautiful.

The spike… not so much. Daichi didn't get to it in time because it hit the net and wobbled through to the other side, a fluke point. Not that you would have been able to tell from Hinata's reaction.

"It went over!" he bellowed.

"All of a sudden, you—" Kageyama began to yell.

"—But I was right there to receive the ball! I don't care about Jr. High. Don't forget that I was humiliated at the prefecture, too. Whatever kind of toss it is, I'll receive it. I will jump anywhere, hit any ball, so  _just keep tossing to me!_ "

Kageyama analyzed Hinata for a moment, mulling words over in his head.

"I an jealous of your physical ability!" he almost barked. Everyone froze at his statement—Hinata's jaw dropped.

"We are totally out of sync. You suck at tactical maneuvering," Kageyama continued, his voice too loud.

"What kind of compliment is this?!"

"But I think we can perfect a quick. My toss, your jump."

Hinata's anger dissipated and his eyes shone. No one's emotions could keep up with the spontaneity of his. "Let's try it!"

"Things just got interesting," Daichi mused. He resumed the match, and evidence of Kageyama's plan began to show in the form of ridiculously fast tosses crashing into the side of the gym.

 _They're that fast?!_ Hinata thought in disbelief, rushing to each ball with strained sprints and still falling short.

" _Go fast—"_ Kageyama caught himself saying, then looked down sheepishly.

"There's the 'King's Toss,'" Tsukki muttered. Kageyama didn't respond, knowing very well his own mistake.

"Kageyama, you should try being more sensitive to the fact Hinata has no experience," Sugawara chided. "You have the ability to sense his movements—as the setter, it's your job to gauge his reflexes. It's not enough to believe he's fast enough to reach the ball in time."

Kageyama huffed. He watched the ball, thinking of the way Hinata moved, his power and tenacity. It was easy to imagine, all their afternoons of practicing ingrained in him.

"Run your fastest, jump your highest, and I'll get the ball to you."

Hinata's eyes widened. Everyone else stared on with disbelief. It was an impossible feat. Kageyama would have to pinpoint where the ball would go; he would have to match the speed perfectly. The only one without a doubt in the plan was Hinata.

"Right."

The match resumed, and Kageyama calculated every move, watched every player. Suddenly he felt it. Hinata's feet leave the ground. Blind trust in a raised hand, in closed eyes.

His toss left his fingers almost on instinct. Time slowed. A bead of sweat rolled from his temple to his chin. Hinata wasn't looking. He'd have to know, just as Kageyama had when he'd thrown it, that the ball would reach its mark. It was a kind of trust that made Kageyama's heart race.

When the ball connected with Hinata's hand, there was no question that the spike had made it through.

Daichi stood in awe. He had to explain to Tsukki and the others what had happened. Kageyama had tossed to a spiker who'd already jumped. Who had his eyes closed.

_His eyes were freaking closed._

"Why did you close your eyes?!" Kageyama asked.

"I dunno, you just said jump and spike, so I didn't really need to see your toss, did I?" He was still staring at his hand, twitching from excitement.

"Idiot! You would have to trust the person a hundred percent in order for that to work!"

Hinata's excitement turned to irritation. "That's the only way I know how to do it! This was a success, so why are you complaining?"

Kageyama's eyes widened. How did this kid trust him? After all the shit he'd said to belittle him?

"I'll get the ball to you next time too. Just trust me and jump."

Of course, it wasn't that easy. Hinata took a ball to the face the next time they tried the quick. He almost yelled at Kageyama too, until he saw his dark-haired roommate staring at his hands, smiling.

 _He likes the challenge,_ Hinata thought.  _He's actually having fun._

"How many times are they going to try and perfect that fluke?" Tsukki asked.

"It's certainly hard to understand," Daichi said. "Trusting someone a hundred percent… it's almost unheard of. Especially from rivals."

Hinata clenched his fist.  _That feeling earlier. The weight of the ball in the palm of my hand. I spiked it. So I'll try one more time. One more time._

"No matter what shrimp, it will end in failure," Tanaka sighed.

Hinata didn't think so. He ran. The wall followed him, determined to make his height a disadvantage. So he changed direction, blindingly fast, and ran somewhere else. All he needed to do was jump where no one else could get in his way.

Kageyama had sensed all of it, as if his skin were alive and absorbing the players' motions on the court. He felt Hinata's energy.

Tsukki's hand was too slow. The ball hit the court with a sound that silenced everyone in the room.

Hinata looked at his hand. He looked at Kageyama. Kageyama was smiling, his hand in a fist.

"ALRIGHT!" they yelled together.


	7. Chapter 7

The match ended in a victory for the shrimp and the King.

They both met the volleyball club manager, Shimizu Kiyoko, a first-year college student working for the school part-time. Tanaka was crazy for her. He wouldn't shut up about her shiny black hair, her cool glasses, the mole by her lip, her eyelashes, her cold stare when he annoyed her, etc. She barely spoke and her expression hardly changed, but she had the aura of a mature leader, scribbling stats down on her clipboard.

Life had never felt quite so sweet for the two boys. They'd gotten their paperwork accepted, signed out new uniforms, and created a new, though rudimentary move that allowed Hinata to spike. Life still contained their monotonous bickering, unfortunately.

"What do you mean, 'Kiyoko isn't that special.' If you say that in front of Tanaka, he might beat you to death." Hinata and Kageyama were walking back to their dorm, discussing the aura of the team manager.

"I didn't mean it like that. I don't even know her. She's pretty, I'm just not attracted to her," Kageyama said.

"There's a difference?"

"There's a difference."

Hinata mulled it over. "I guess I would need to get to know her a little better, too. But I still think she's attractive."

"That's not what I meant."

"Argh! What kind of standards to you even have?"

"Become a better and better setter. Until I'm the best. Win volleyball matches." Kageyama was facing forward, expressionless. Detached from this line of questioning.

"Um… yeah, sure. There's that. But isn't there more to life than volleyball?"

Hinata couldn't help but make a face as he said the last statement. Kageyama smirked.

"Exactly."

The two made their way to the front door of the dorm, but stopped suddenly at the sight of a wet-haired Daichi running to the main gate in jeans and a t-shirt, fresh from the locker room. The school entrance was open for students who wished to tour the city on the weekends. A girl was there waiting for him, her hands clasped behind her back, still in what looked to be a high school uniform.

"Hey loverboy! You don't have to rub it in our faces, y'know!"

Tanaka was on his way to the second-year dorms when he spotted the two students at the gate. The girl blushed and shouted something, but it was carried off with the wind. Daichi shook his head and led the girl down the street.

Her height matched Daichi's with legs long and sturdy—she had short brown hair, but that's all Hinata could see from a distance.

"Hey Tanaka, who was that?"

"Michimiya Yui, a third-year at an all-girls prep school. She's the volleyball captain there. She and Daichi are dating. Match made in heaven."

"Wow, I didn't know he had a girlfriend," Hinata said.

Tanaka shrugged. "They've known each other since Jr. High. It was bound to happen." His gaze intensified. "But no one holds a candle to Kiyoko!"

"You're repulsive," Kageyama sighed, headed towards the dormitories. Nothing anyone was saying interested him. Hinata took it as another one of his foul moods.

Behind the closed door of their dorm room, Kageyama fell onto his bed and opened a sports magazine on his nightstand, already showered from the locker room. Hinata began taking clothes out of his dresser, small things buzzing about his mind.

His mom and sister. That spike.

_There's a difference._

He went into the bathroom to shower.

Kageyama let the magazine drop onto his face and he sighed. His blood still thrummed with the thrill of their 3-on-3 match. Hinata was infuriating, but he also gave Kageyama a reason to be more analytical, a way to throw a fast toss. He'd had fun this afternoon.

He looked at the wall behind Hinata's desk where an ugly painting of a house was pinned up with a tack. There were three stick figures in the front yard, two with orange hair, one with brown. The painting was probably done by his little sister, a piece of artwork that had made no sense to Kageyama until now.

People could leave a mark on you in strange ways. Hinata must miss the little sibling he'd grown up with.

At that moment, Hinata exited the shower in a cloud of steam. The boy was rummaging through his dresser when Kageyama looked over from under the magazine, turned away, and then did a double-take.

Hinata's bare back was the color of cream, the nape of his neck peppered with brown freckles that stretched across his shoulders and back, a map of constellations thinning as they trailed down his prominent spine. His hair was still dripping from the shower, his curls fighting gravity. A droplet fell onto the boy's shoulder and trickled off his arm, falling to the ground.

Something inside Kageyama made a small sound, as sharp and quick as a camera shutter. A tiny reverberation. He slowly drew his eyes back to the magazine.

"It's good to know you don't have a skin disease."

The back of Hinata's neck reddened. Kageyama's grip on the magazine tightened.

"I forgot a shirt, smart-ass." Hinata grabbed a yellow t-shirt; hesitated. "I don't like changing in front of people because I'm small."

At this, Kageyama lifted himself from the bed with his elbows, the magazine abandoned at his side. He looked Hinata straight on with an incredulous expression. "What?"

"I'm small! I don't have the same build as other volleyball players. Short, pale, speckled. I can jump, but—"

"—then what are you worried about? Just practice more and you'll get better. Who cares what you look like."

Hinata nodded slowly. A smiled crept across his face. "Your speech was definitely inspiring today." He screwed up his face, narrowing his eyes. "'Being alone terrifies me to my  _very core_.'"

Kageyama threw his pillow at Hinata, knocking the kid back into his dresser. "Brat," he said, picking up his magazine. Hinata laughed and pulled his shirt over his head.

Constellations swirled in Kageyama's mind.

* * *

That night, Kageyama tossed and turned as he slept.

He was standing in the middle of a long, familiar hall. At the end of it was a shrine, a blurry photograph in a black picture frame compelling him to move forward. Following the impulse, his bare feet padded along the hardwood, cold from the unyielding surface. The unfurling incense and fluttering candles hypnotized him. Even as he got closer, the figure in the picture frame wouldn't focus. Another step forward made the candles flicker out, the hall changing into a small room in wisps of smoke and the smell of jasmine.

In this room, there was a door, in front of which stood a suitcase. Kageyama recognized it; he cringed. Trying to run, he realized the front door was his only means of escape. He didn't want to go outside—not that way. Though he couldn't place it, the world through that door held terrors he knew he had to protect himself from. The suitcase's presence clawed at his heart. He banged on the walls, dug at them with his nails until they chipped and broke, screaming, but the dream stayed solid, weathering his misery. Only until the boy fell to his knees, hands palm up on the floor, did he realize he was now on a volleyball court, empty and dark. Kageyama knew this part of the dream, looking up at the vacant bleachers and benches, the torn net with splintered support beams.

Then someone appeared across the court, a back facing Kageyama, the color of moonlight in the dimly lit gym. Kageyama stood. The person was as indistinguishable as the picture from the shrine.

Kageyama made his way towards the figure, recognizing orange curls that almost glowed in the dark, a set of shoulders that felt familiar, but resisted being named in Kageyama's groggy mind. He reached out to touch the back of this mysterious person and then he saw them—the galaxies of freckles emerging from pale skin, beautiful dark pinpricks that drew him near; a different propulsion than he'd ever experienced. This was terrifying.

Kageyama lifted his arm up, reached his hand out. Just under the whispers of orange, he put his fingertips to the milk-white skin.

They burned.

Kageyama cried out from the pain and startled awake, panting. He immediately listened for his bunkmate, hoping that the boy had not awakened. The hope was dashed when Kageyama noticed the glass of water on his nightstand. Sighing, he drank a few sips and rolled over, praying for sleep to erase his wounded pride, praying that the dreams would not return to confuse and hurt him.


	8. Chapter 8

"A practice match?!"

Hinata was wriggling on the bench during a team meeting after practice until Kageyama smacked him in the back of the head.

"Would you shut up and listen?" he hissed, his flushed face betraying his glee.  _Finally, a match._

"Kageyama, we can all tell you're pissing yourself with excitement. Could you wipe that ugly grin off your face?" Tanaka called out the first-year, grinning himself in a way that could spoil milk. It was safe to say everyone was pumped.

"Yes," Takeda Ittetsu said, "a match against Aobajousai High School." He'd burst through the gym doors only moments before to deliver the news, the faculty advisor that usually fell short due to his lack of experience. It was a stroke of luck that the baby crows would be playing against one of the top four teams in the prefecture.

"There is, however… a slight condition for the match."

"What?" Daichi asked.

"…That Kageyama Tobio act as the setter."

There was an immediate outburst from Tanaka. "WHAT?! But he's fresh meat! We  _have_ an experienced setter! They just want to scope out the potential threat and mock the rest of us!"

"I—I don't think they were trying to be rude—" Takeda stuttered, but Tanaka's rage was cut by Sugawara.

"It's okay. This isn't a chance we get every day. We should take it."

"But—"

"I am also interested to see Hinata and Kageyama's duo against some official competition."

Hinata noticed Kageyama measuring Suga's words. Normally the grouch would be excited to prove himself.  _Maybe he's actually worried about treading on his teammate's toes,_ Hinata mused.

The team discussed more specifics about the match and then decided to hit up the ice cream place on campus. Kageyama rushed to catch up to Sugawara, nerves making him feel awkward. Nevertheless, he had something he wanted to say.

"Sugawara!"

Once he had the boy's attention, Kageyama sputtered his speech, loudly and with no finesse whatsoever.

"Um… I know that I'll be starting with the team right away, but after this match I'll work for that spot through effort alone!"

Sugawara's eyes widened. "What?"

"…What?" Kageyama blurted.

"I mean, I guess I thought you were overlooking me anyway."

"Huh?"

"Well, because your ability  _is_ better than mine, isn't it?"

"I can't fill the gap in experience overnight," he growled, trying not to lose his temper. "And besides." He looked down at his feet and screwed up his face. "I… You… Th—things likes having teammate's t—trust and stuff…"

 _That Jr. High game really left a mark…_ Sugawara thought.

"…I won't lose!" Kageyama finally declared. Sugawara was pleased that this first-year was facing him head on, viewing him as an equal.

"I won't either."

Hinata, who'd snuck up behind the two to eavesdrop, grinned. Kageyama was slowly learning to communicate with others and express himself, something he'd clearly lacked with his old team. He jumped up to slap the kid in the back, feeling unusually giddy to notice the transaction. "Trying to earn trust, Kageyama?"

The boy whipped around and grabbed Hinata by the face, squeezing his cheeks together.

"Not yours, Tangerine-head."

"Too late!" he grinned, and Kageyama dropped his hand, eyebrows raised in disbelief.

"So a lot of your old teammates from Jr. High will be your opponents next week, right?" Sugawara asked, interrupting Kageyama's blatant staring.

He shrugged. "I'd be more worried of they were on my team, but since they're my opponents, I can go all out without hesitation."

"I like the sound of that," Daichi chimed in.

The group all ordered their ice creams, the shop owner giving them grief for their wild behavior.

"This feels like a real team," Hinata sighed happily, his enormous chocolate number plastered all over his face and dripping down his hand.

"That's because it  _is_ a real team!" Tanaka yelled, his ice cream falling off the cone to the ground. While he was busy yelling his head off, Kageyama looked at Hinata with disgust.

"You have ice cream all over your face. What are you, five?" He absentmindedly took his napkin and began scrubbing violently at Hinata's lips.

"What the heck?! Get away from me! I'm not a kid!"

"Tell that to all the shit on your face!" Kageyama growled, coming at Hinata with a gleam in his eyes.

"Somehow… Kageyama reminds me of a mother hen… or something," Sugawara said softly as everyone fixated on Hinata's outrageous fight to stay dirty, Kageyama looking equally ridiculous, both of them losing their cones in the squabble.

"God knows Hinata is the only one who can get him riled up like that," Daichi said. "But I think they're starting to argue… in a good way."

* * *

When the boys were back in their dorms, they found it especially difficult to concentrate on homework, something that needed every ounce of focus to get completed.

"How can I work on math problems when all I want to do is think about our master decoy plan!?" Hinata yelled out the window at the moon. The team had discussed strategy in the ice cream shop after settling down.

"You still have ice cream on your face," Kageyama mumbled, staring at his English book, but not really seeing it. He was just as excited as his roommate was, getting more and more comfortable with the idea of sharing similarities with the orange-haired dumbass. Even if there were so many more differences.

Hinata's cell phone rang, and he jumped at the chance to be distracted.

"Hi, mom?"

Kageyama's eyes glazed over. One such difference happened to be a painful one. He tried not to listen, tuned out the mindless conversation. A person who always listened to every detail of your day. Who worried about you living away from home. Who got you a glass of water after a nightmare.

It was clear those kindnesses had worn off on Hinata. Kageyama envied his easy-going attitude, the ability to make friends at the drop of a hat.

Now Kageyama didn't know how he felt about Hinata, or what they were.

"Okay, I will. Bye! Love you!"

Hinata hung up and sighed, shaking his head. "She always asks if I have enough underwear, of all things."

"I don't care," Kageyama muttered. He suddenly wanted the comfort of his blankets, stirred to irritation by Hinata's prattling. But his stomach knotted at the thought of the dreams.

"Is something wrong?" Hinata asked, sitting back at his desk, one foot on the chair so he could rest his chin on his knee. His casual posture and disarming stare made Kageyama strangely aware that they shared this tiny space together, that they would for a year and he wouldn't be able to avoid those amber eyes.  _How does he manage to read things like that? What did I even do to tip him off?_  He thought he'd been acting like his typical, bitter self.

"Don't read into it, dumbass, I just want to get this done."

Hinata noticed Kageyama wouldn't look into his eyes. He noticed that the boy wasn't reading a word on the page of his book, only staring at his desk, immersed in thought with his brows furrowed.

But he didn't press the issue. He turned his head back to his math problems and tried to complete them in silence.

* * *

The next time Kageyama dared to look in Hinata's direction, he realized the boy was asleep at his desk, drooling on his textbook.

"Are you kidding me?!" Kageyama yelled. It did little to wake Hinata. Kageyama stood and yanked the wet textbook out from under Hinata's head. Nothing. He shook what was a tinier shoulder than he realized. Hinata grinned in his sleep.

Kageyama frowned and watched Hinata's slow breathing, soft strands of hair bright against the arm he was using as a pillow. His face was peaceful.  _He trusts me,_ Kageyama thought in awe. While he could barely believe it, someone playing a sport with their eyes closed was a pretty strong indicator of trust.

Running his fingers through his own hair, Kageyama looked around the room, at a loss. His eyes found Hinata's comforter, dangling from the top of his unmade bunk. Kageyama grabbed the blanket and hesitantly, softly, and placed it around his roommate's shoulders. He felt awkward, and his heart was beating rather fast for such a harmless act. He hoped it didn't seem weird.

He gave one last look at Hinata's peaceful, sleeping face before turning off the light and heading to bed.


	9. Chapter 9

When Hinata woke, it was pitch black and his cheek was wet.  _Why am I sitting up?_ he wondered groggily. Stretching his stiff back, something fell of his shoulders.  _My comforter?_ He grabbed the fabric and pulled it into his lap for confirmation. Wiping his cheek, he grimaced at the drool.

A noise brought his gaze to Kageyama's bottom bunk. "Another dream," he muttered, feeling sorry for his roommate. It was hard to watch one of the strongest people he knew roll around in bed, whimpering. Looking down at the blanket, Hinata realized that it could only have found his shoulders one way, and he smiled softly.

Looking back at Kageyama made the smile dissipate. This private side of the prickly boy was hard to see, especially since Hinata didn't think it was wise to bring it up in conversation.

Hinata went to the bathroom to do the only thing he new he could do—fill a glass of water and leave it for when his roommate eventually awoke, panting and covered in sweat.

Hinata gently placed the glass on the nightstand, a pained expression on his face as he watched Kageyama mutter and turn towards him, his face damp and contorted.

Hinata's heart stopped when a hand reached out to grab his shirt.

"Mom?" Kageyama asked weakly.

Hinata's heart felt as if it were breaking. "No, it's Hinata." He waited for the venom that would surely come when Kageyama came to his senses.

"I'm sorry," the boy muttered, letting go and rolling back over.

So many things Hinata had done for other people to help them and at this moment, he was at a loss. The asshole demeanor he thought he'd understood so blindly just didn't exist anymore.

Gingerly, the boy sat on the edge of Kageyama's bed and wrapped his arms around his knees. Steady breathing was Kageyama's response—he didn't dare yell, as it would only betray a clammy, tear-stained face, but Hinata must have known he'd woken up.

"When I was ten, my dad left my mom for a younger woman."

The vibrant red of Kageyama's bedside alarm clock read 2:00 am.

"It was really hard, because he didn't do it quietly. He brought her home, stinking drunk, to throw it in my mom's face."

Kageyama's fingers folded into a fist, ever so slightly.

"It was a mess. Natsu was crying because he was yelling, and he hit me when I told him he wasn't my father anymore."

"Why are you telling me this?" Kageyama's voice was raw.

"Because my mom never cried over him. Not once, not that I've seen. And even though I love her and think she's the best mom ever, I think it would have been better of she'd cried."

"Why?"

"Dunno."

"What?" Kageyama finally sat up, his usual scowl in place. "You can't just tell me that and then not have a  _reason._ It's two in the fucking morning! I'd  _strangle_ you right now if I didn't need you for our practice match."

Kageyama lunged for Hinata, who dodged by hitting his head on the top bunk, crying out and clutching his forehead as he fell back, only to hit the back of his head of the wall.

"My god you're an idiot. Get out of my bed before I catch it."

"Wait wait wait!" Hinata scrambled into a sitting position, his back touching Kageyama's calf, hidden under the blankets.

"I guess what I was trying to say is, it's okay to cry."

"Are you making fun of me?"

"No! You've just been having these nightmares and I have no idea what to do and you really seem to miss your mom which makes me think of my mom and also think of my dad because it's a painful memory and you seem in pain—"

Suddenly there was a knock on the door, and without thinking, Hinata jumped and fell next to Kageyama to hide, his heading hitting the boy's chest, hair touching skin in a way that made Kageyama forget what they were even talking about.

"What are you doing?!" Kageyama hissed.

"Hiding."

_"WHY?"_

The orange-haired kid was just a dark shadow, but his weight and scent jumpstarted Kageyama's heart to an impossible hammering.

"Hey, can you keep it down in there? I can hear you banging around."

The voice was muddled behind the door, but Kageyama hadn't heard it. The small body next to him produced more heat than he thought was possible. The feeling of foreign hair on his neck left him frozen. It wasn't until Hinata let out a breath of air that he came to his senses and reflexes kicked in. Using his feet he shoved the body out of his personal space, wondering why the  _fuck_ he was blushing.

"What was that for?" Hinata grumbled, picking himself off the floor and rubbing his head.

Kageyama had already rolled over, heart still pounding. "Thanks for the… water," he mumbled, unable to say anything else.

Hinata frowned, unhappy that pouring his heart out to his former enemy hadn't worked.

"I was just trying to help," he muttered as he clambered noisily into bed.

Kageyama's chest still tingled with warmth and the dark silhouette of a tiny, curly-haired boy in his bed sent him into dreamless sleep.

* * *

"Hinata… I think that's Kageyama's jacket."

The team was in the locker room, debriefing after another grueling practice. The match was tomorrow and Hinata was freaking out with no sign of calming his nerves.

The boy looked down, and sure enough, in a daze, he had tried to put on Kageyama's jacket as a pair of pants. He tried to play it off as a typical "ditzy Hinata thing," but at this point, the team was just plain worried.

In fact, Kageyama didn't need to worry about confronting the bizarre blushing bunk bed incident because Hinata couldn't even think straight, let alone notice what anyone else was doing. Even if that person was jumping a mile in the air when Hinata's skin touched their own.

Tsukki's taunts were being met with glazed over acceptance, not flustered contempt. Anything anyone said to Hinata seemed to have the opposite effect. It was a disaster.

"Get your ass out of my jacket and put some damn pants on!" Kageyama fumed, smacking Hinata's shoulder.

The boy just stuttered out a meek "okay" as he tried to take it off, falling over in the process and blushing like a flustered idiot.

 _This is bad,_ Kageyama thought.  _How would Hinata approach me if I were acting strange?_

He remembered the boy sitting on his bed, spilling the story about his mother in a calm voice. He remembered hair on his neck and heat on his chest.

Kageyama slammed his locker door shut with force that drew everyone's eyes towards him, except Hinata's.

"Everyone is going bat-shit crazy," Tanaka muttered, exiting the locker room. He gave Hinata a pat on the back before leaving.

"Hinata, just try and get some sleep tonight, okay?" Sugawara almost pleaded, a sad smile on his lips.

Daichi had his arms crossed, looking Hinata like he was a rubix cube. Finally, he just told Kageyama: "try not to put any unneeded pressure on him."

Kageyama nodded, trying to think of anything he'd said that might have caused this. Nothing but insults came to mind, but those were so common that he dismissed them.

On the way back to their dorm room, Hinata kept mumbling attack and defense plays under his breath, completely out of it. It was the quietist Kageyama had ever seen the dumbass, and yet this almost irritated him more.

"Hey—" he began, but caught himself.  _What would be good to say in this situation?_

Hinata looked at him with creepy eyes.

"Help me with math after dinner."

Hinata nodded and smiled slightly, chuckling at the demand. His smile was nowhere near the level it would have been if he were his usual self. For some reason, the kid had an addiction to being depended on, and Kageyama had come to know Hinata's typical reaction to things.

 _He's probably afraid he'll mess up. I mean,_ I'm  _afraid he'll mess up. But I can't say that._

Kageyama scratched his head and the boys entered the dorm building in silence.

* * *

While Kageyama worked as studiously as he could at his desk, Hinata lay lifelessly in bed, the noise of him rolling from side to side stirring the quiet from time to time. Kageyama still hadn't said anything noteworthy, and Hinata seemed to get worse and worse. The sun had sunk well below the horizon and soon it would be time to try and get some sleep.

"So are you gonna help me with these or not?" Kageyama finally voiced, annoyed that their old room atmosphere was gone.

"Yeah," Hinata groaned, rising from the bed like a ghost. "One second."

He clambered down and made his way to Kageyama, placing a hand on the back of his chair and leaning over to get a good view of the math textbook. Their cheeks only an inch apart, Kageyama tried to breathe normally and point out where he was struggling.

"Oh, I remember this one. So if you just use the formula on the next page…" Hinata reached out to turn the page and his hair brushed against Kageyama's cheek, making his heart stutter.

"I'm tired," he said stiffly, trying to stand from his chair and distance himself from his roommate.

"But you just started!" Hinata huffed, almost back to his usual self.

"I don't need an idiot's help," Kageyama replied, putting his books away and trying to hide his red cheeks.  _What is wrong with me?_ he thought.

"I was  _just_ showing you the right way to—" Hinata's words were cut sort by their bedroom door bursting open.

"Shrimp!" a familiar voice yelled, and Kageyama and Hinata recognized Tanaka immediately.

"What?" Hinata asked, already in a defensive position to avoid any noogie and/or forceful slap on the back. Tanaka didn't know his own strength.

"I brought you something. To help you sleep before the match tomorrow. You've been really out of it lately, so this might help."

He slammed a flask down on Kageyama's desk.

"Um…" Hinata hesitated. "Alcohol?"

"Of course. Just take a few swigs and you'll pass right out."

"I'm underage."

Tanaka rolled his eyes. "Just don't drink the whole thing, and absolutely  _none_ before the match tomorrow! You guys better be ready to kick some ass!" He was out the door in the same whirlwind of energy with which he'd entered.

"That is not a good idea," Kageyama said, getting ready for bed. When his back was turned, Hinata unscrewed the cap and took three generous swigs. The liquid burned as it went down and tasted like acetone.

"What did I tell you?!" Kageyama yelled, but Hinata was already grinning like an idiot.

"It feels warm."

Kageyama rolled his eyes. "Just snap out of it and get back to your normal for tomorrow."

Hinata looked at his feet.

He didn't know if he could do that. All he knew was the alcohol made him ready for bed, whether he wanted to sleep or not.


	10. Chapter 10

Something woke Kageyama in the middle of the night, and it wasn't a dream.

Groggily, he tried to figure out what in the hell was making noise at—he checked the clock on his nightstand—1:30 in the morning, wiping sleep from his eyes. Hinata was climbing clumsily from bed, his foot slipping from the rungs of the ladder and his body swaying with abnormal movement.

 _Is he drunk?_ Kageyama thought, his eyes wide on the boy moving slowly to the bathroom. Miffed, Kageyama rolled over in bed, cursing the fact that Hinata couldn't even take a piss without making a racket.

The toilet flushed.

The bathroom door opened again.

A body hit Kageyama's bed.

"What the  _fuck_ are you doing?" he hissed at Hinata, who had fallen beside him, grasping the comforter for warmth.

"Natsu's my cuddle buddy… forever… and always," came the delirious response, Hinata clearly still affected by whatever Tanaka had given him earlier. He was smiling,  _smiling_ as he snuggled closer to Kageyama, wrapping his arms around the boy's waist and curling his knees so they pressed against his side.

 _This. Is not. Okay,_  Kageyama thought, his mind screaming. He was annoyed, he was awake, but more than anything, he was  _blushing_ from the touch of the body at his side, warmth leeching into his skin, the sound of someone else breathing steadily beside him giving him goosebumps.

Kageyama had never shared a bed with anyone. He never had any siblings. Never been in a relationship. He didn't  _like_ being touched. When was the last time he'd even hugged someone?

So why was his heart beating so furiously? Why was Hinata in his bed? _Again?_  Roommates were not supposed to have boundary issues like this. Or so he thought.

 _I'll just have to bear with it,_ he thought, gritting his teeth and trying to get comfortable. This required him to nudge his arm under Hinata's head, the feeling of hair and skin almost unbearable.

 _Nope, can't do it._ Kageyama rolled on his side towards Hinata and tried to kick the boy out of his bunk. This just gave Hinata a firmer anchor and he pulled himself closer to Kageyama's chest.

"Natsu… go to sleep already."

 _How DARE you act annoyed at ME you brat!_ Kageyama hit him on the head, but it nothing more than interrupt Hinata's quiet snores for a moment.

Kageyama could not move—turning on his side had allowed Hintata's legs to slip under the covers and mingle with his own.

"Why are your feet so fucking cold?!" Kageyama whispered.

The rest of Hinata wasn't. Even in the darkness, his hair was its own, warm entity, tickling Kageyama's collarbone, the coarse curls distinctly different from his own. Hinata's hands, so secure around his waist, created nothing more than an oven in which Kageyama was baking, flustered, for a reason unknown to him.

 _Calm down,_ he told himself.  _He thinks you're his sister._ But as soon as he took his mind away from the quiet breathing against his chest, the hands and legs all over him, his mind drifted to how soft Hinata's skin was against his own, how small his limbs were, how  _comforting_ it felt to have him tucked beside him, neatly, like a child's stuffed bear.

Similar to figuring out a new volleyball move, Kageyama debated how he could get comfortable, a scowl on his face.

 _Damn you, Tanaka,_ he seethed, one arm anchored behind tangerine-head, the other awkwardly at his side, as far away from Hinata as he could get it.

_We have a match tomorrow. I can punch him in the morning. For the meantime, just be glad he's asleep._

Slowly, by inches, Kageyama tried to move his arm on top of Hinata to a position that was sleepable. Nothing felt right. Tugging at the boy's hands did not remove them from his waist. In fact, it only caused the Hinata to grasp harder, Kageyama's shirt rucking up in the process. It made Kageyama want to scream—the smell of him, the skin, all of it. He felt Hinata's calloused palms against his sides and wanted to rip his hair out. He finally gave up, rolling over onto his back to let Hinata use his left arm and chest as pillow. His roommate was cuddling him like a koala and his heart was throbbing because of it.

_I have to get rid of this feeling._

* * *

 

 

When Hinata woke up, he was struck by an unfamiliar smell.

Blinking his eyes open and yawning, he thanked Tanaka for the dubious yet effective flask of whatever the hell he'd given him. That's when he saw that it wasn't the ceiling he was looking at, but underneath where he was  _supposed_ to be sleeping.

As for the smell, his nose had been pressed into Kageyama's back, who was lying on his side, facing the wall, and breathing steadily. Hinata realized he'd been holding the fabric of his teammate's t-shirt and let go, sitting up frantically.

He immediately hit his head on the two-by-fours above him. Grasping his hair and groaning, he didn't have time to think about how on earth he'd wound up where he was because Kageyama had shoved him to the floor.

"I have been waiting all night for the opportunity to do that," he growled, his voice thick with sleep.

"Wha—how— _how did I end up in your bed?!_ "

Kageyama glared at Hinata, who had made no effort to pick himself off of the floor.

"You stumbled out of bed last night, waking me up in the process, and then fell right into  _my bed,_ thinking I was your sister and clinging to me like a five-year-old."

A blush swooped through Hinata's face as the blurry memory resurfaced.

"I couldn't kick you out to matter how hard I hit you." Kageyama sounded calm, but he looked murderous, his shiny hair sticking up on one side and his eyes narrowed to slits.

"I—I—I—it was an accident! I'm sorry! Please don't kill me before our first match, Kageyama."

Hinata was desperate, pleading on the ground like a fool. Kageyama clicked his tongue.

"You have your own bed for a reason, dumbass. It better not happen again."

Hinata nodded seriously, finally standing to his feet.

"Alright, let's get ready. The bus leaves soon," Kageyama said, getting out of bed and yawning. Hinata paled. He clutched his stomach.

"You're not still nervous are you?"

Hinata shook his head, but grew paler.

Kageyama huffed, running a hand through his disheveled hair, trying to think of something to say. "There's nothing to be afraid of. You'll get used to it."

Hinata frowned and went to his dresser, taking off his pj shirt (which had SpongeBob on it) and rummaging around to find his practice jersey. "That's something you would say," he huffed. "You've had plenty of matches. This is my first one, and I can be replaced."

At those last words, Hinata just about keeled over. "Oh man, I  _really_ don't wanna be replaced."

Kageyama realized his words were not comforting, only insulting—there were some things you could never get used to, like your roommate slowly getting comfortable changing in front of you, the sudden appearance of cream skin and freckles, a body that had been curled next to you the night before—

Kageyama hit his head on Hinata's bunk, using brute force to get the image from his mind. The noise made Hinata glance at him with a worried look. "Are you sure  _you're_ not nervous?"

"Everyone gets nervous," Kageyama muttered. "Just make sure you put on some pants, not my jacket."

Hinata blushed and focused on changing, turning away from Kageyama. Something about the angry boy's bed hair made his stomach feel funny (or was that just nerves)?

They packed their stuff up, Hinata throwing things into a duffle bag, muttering crazily under his breath, Kageyama folding things neatly and ticking things off of a mental checklist. It was quiet, but that was not unusual for them—as roommates, it was common to have periods of bickering followed by comfortable silence. Kageyama didn't want to say anything that would make Hinata's condition worsen, Daichi's warning still floating in his head, and he wanted to forget that he'd cuddled with Hinata last night as soon as possible. Silence was fine with him.

* * *

 

What had started out as worrisome turned into full-blown panic when the bus pulled into the parking lot of Aobajousai High School.

"Is this what I get for help you out last night?" Tanaka muttered, tying the plastic bag that now held his joggers. Hinata had thrown up on them. No one saw the situation getting any better from here.

"I'm so sorry," Hinata moaned, his hands on his stomach.

"I'm just joking, kid," Tanaka chuckled. "But try not to do it on the court. We're counting on you."

" _Tanaka,_ " Daichi hissed, but it was too late. Hinata looked green.

"What?"

"Don't pressure him!"

"Oh, right. I mean, do it like the 3-on-3 Hinata! Easy-peasy!"

This did not help. "I—I—I'll d—do my b—b—est!" Hinata's teeth chattered, his nerves on fire. He made an unpleasant noise. "I have to go to the bathroom."

"First the top, then the bottom. Busy guy," Tanaka said.

"That's it. I'm gonna  _knock_ some sense into him—" Kageyama growled, rolling up his sleeves, but Sugawara caught him by the arm.

"Are you crazy? That's not going to work."

"Then what will?" Kageyama said, a scowl on his face. He didn't want to admit it, but it frustrated him that he couldn't help. It was the first time he had cared enough to want to. Hinata had helped him with his nightmares in so many ways, and Kageyama hadn't even  _talked_ about them with him. There  _had_ to be a way he could repay him.

"It's been awhile, King," came a familiar voice. The team turned to a couple of Aobajousai players who were walking by the bus. One had black, spikey hair, like a turnip; the other had blond locks combed to the side.

Kageyama kept his face smooth as glass. "Yeah," he said. This calmness seemed to surprise them, but any reply was interrupted by Tanaka's aura. Daichi smacked him upside the head.

"See you on the court," Daichi said, always polite. "Thank you for inviting us."

The other two nodded and walked inside, not sure of what to make of what they just saw. Turnip-head clenched his fists. "Why is he pretending to be passive?"

* * *

 

When the match started on the court, it was a shit-show from the beginning.

Hinata received a ball that was clearly for Daichi, causing Kageyama to yell his head off immediately.

"Is that shrimp really a middle blocker?" Players from the other team were whispering amongst each other, and not quietly. "That's gotta be a mistake. He has no idea what he's doing."

And that's exactly what it looked like. Hinata was bumping into everyone. He was doing unthinkable things, making impossible plays.  _This guy is completely overwhelmed,_ Kageyama thought. He said he thought Hinata was a shitty player when they'd met, but this made his old style look like the work of an Olympian. When it came to be the tangerine-head's serve, everyone was on edge.

Hinata was trembling, his face the color of milk. If he missed, the set was over, and would be taken by the other team.

_Don't blow it or Kageyama will murder you in your sleep, don't blow it or you'll be benched, don't blow it or you'll get kicked off the team—_

The whistle blew and Hinata screeched, threw the ball into the air, and smashed it into the back of Kageyama's head.

Time stopped.

Hinata felt his blood freeze. He felt his soul escape him. The other side of the court had erupted with laughter, but all he could focus on was his roommate.

Kageyama turned to face him, turned and started walking towards Hinata with his hair cast down over his face. Hinata started sweating. "Wait, Kageyama, we can talk this over, you don't have to kill me—"

Kageyama walked until he was two inches from Hinata's face. When he spoke, his voice was surprisingly calm. Too calm.

"Why are you so nervous? Is it because the players are tall? Is it because this is your first practice match? There's nothing scarier than hitting a serve into the back of my head, is there?"

Hinata looked into Kageyama's eyes and saw the depths of hell as he smacked the back of his own head, mimicking the serve over and over again.

"No, there isn't," Hinata whispered.

"Right, because you've already done the scariest thing possible," he said in his monotone. Then, Kageyama shifted, and he placed his hands on Hinata's shoulders. Hinata flinched, but the gesture was softer than he'd expected it to be.

"Are you going to go back to your usual self?"

There was something in Kageyama's voice that broke Hinata's terror, something entering his eyes that was close to worry. His expression hadn't softened, but the question was uncharacteristic of typical, angry Kageyama.

"Yes," Hinata whispered, in awe of what he'd just witnessed. "I'm sorry I worried you."

Kageyama flushed and his demonic expression vanished. "I wasn't worried," he scoffed. In a louder, more Kageyama-esque way, he yelled, "Now get back out there and play for real, you jackass!"

Hinata stared. "W—was that goof safe?"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Shit! If that was safe, it doesn't matter if I make any smaller mistakes!" Hinata seemed to have his prickly confidence back, his irritation much like a kitten's.

 _It took all that for him to realize it's okay for him to make mistakes? Was that all it was?_ Kageyama thought, baffled. "You're an idiot," he said, sighing.

The whole team was snickering, but seemed to let out a collective sigh of relief when Hinata returned to the group with more color in his face and life in his eyes. The boy felt like he could grow wings from where Kageyama's hands had been on his shoulders.

They lined up at the net, readying for the other set. Turnip head was studying Hinata and Kageyama closely after their little exchange.

"Hinata," Tanaka said before the second set began.

"Yes!" Hinata jumped, on edge and ready to be scolded.

"As if you have the experience to play like a seasoned veteran like the rest of us!" Tanaka said. "There's no way you can't fuck up. That's why we're  _here._ We're your team. We know you suck. And we also know what you're capable of, so get your head out of your ass." Hinata's eyes glowed.

 _That's more like it,_ Kageyama thought. It always pumped him up, seeing Hinata's eyes shine for volleyball.

The second set began and Hinata was back on his game. He was keeping Turnip-head on his toes, running back and forth, looking for a good spiking opportunity. When he saw one, he jumped, closing his eyes and swinging hard.

No impact.

The ball dropped on Karasuno's side of the court.

Turnip-head bent down to whisper. "You're about to get an earful from the King." He seemed eager to see Kageyama continue his tyrannical and toxic patterns in high school.

Instead, Kageyama apologized. "My bad Hinata, that ball was too high."

Turnip-head looked like he'd swallowed a bug. Hinata smirked.  _The Kageyama on our team isn't the one you know. And I'll never let him revert back to that condescending player you called "King."_

Within minutes of the game resuming, the freak toss and spike was delivered. The other team didn't see it coming. Literally.

The match was going well. Karasuno was about to take the third set when a group of girls signaled someone new entering the court by screaming.

"Who is that?" Hinata asked under his breath, his voice drowned out by all the fangirling.

"That's Oikawa Tooru," Kageyama said. "The main setter." Something dark had crossed his eyes that Hinata picked up on.

"Were you at Kitagawa together?"

"Yeah. He was my senior."

 _The Great King?!_ Hinata thought, looking at the boy who was dripping with good looks, his brown hair slightly curling and his smiling face beaming at the girls in the bleachers.

"He looks slippery," Hinata said.

Kageyama nodded. "He definitely is. And he's really gay."

Every Karasuno player froze.

"Kageyama, don't just say that during a match," Sugawara said nervously.

"Those poor girls don't even know…" Tanaka shook his head. "I'm so pissed, they could be screaming at me right now."

"That would never happen," Daichi said.

"Be careful," Kageyama warned. "He's a super aggressive setter."

 _So even Kageyama respects his abilities…_ Hinata noticed the Aobajousai setter send probing glances in Kageyama's direction and the hairs on the back of his neck prickled. He had the bizarre urge to yell  _"he's mine"_  across the court at him. Now  _that_ would be gay. Hinata shook his head and the whistle blew.

Oikawa's serves were like rockets. As soon as he'd begun to play, there was no way to question his abilities. He brought out the best in his team and aimed at the weakest receivers across the court.

Maybe if he'd been there at the beginning of the game, it would have mattered. One of Hinata's quicks sailed by his face and slammed into the ground, ending his first practice match and securing victory.

Tanaka yelled with excitement and everyone else was grinning, but Hinata just stared stupidly at his hand. He looked at Kageyama and gave him one of his trademark smiles, filled with sun—the kind that could erase bad dreams and frowns and past rivalries with ease. Kageyama realized he'd been missing it. He gave a small smile back.

Hinata damn near fell over. " _Did you just smile?_ " he screeched, running over and examining his roommates face. "That's gotta be more rare than a UFO. Kageyama smiling."

The frown had returned. "Shut the hell up. I'm just glad you're back to your normal, dumbass self. You really sucked that first set."

Hinata flushed and the two were off bickering again, but in the back of his head, Kageyama's words, his strangely  _cute_ smile, had caused a small seed to grow in Hinata's heart.

The Turnip-head came up to the two of them, looking like he wanted a word with Kageyama.

"Kindaichi," Kageyama said, turning to face him, his hands on Hinata's shirt because he'd been shaking the boy for something he'd said.

 _So that's his name,_  Hinata thought.

"The next time we play, we'll win again." Kageyama let go of Hinata so his partner could stand next to him, as it was supposed to be.

"You've changed," was all his old teammate said before walking away. He walked straight for Oikawa, his hands clenched into fists.

"What's up?" Oikawa asked.

"Kageyama… he said 'we.'" Kindaichi was staring at the ground, deep in thought. "That's the first time he's said 'we.'"


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama sees Hinata's butt and all goes to hell, basically.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I’ve added some tags to this story as I figured out a little more about where I want it to go. I was a little drunk when I wrote this so it’s not edited very well and definitely contains shameless angst/fluff I’ve wanted to happen for a while. Thanks for sticking with me after all this time; I’ve literally never written a fic this long, and I’m back in school, which means slower updates :'( I really wish I could put all my time towards this, but passing is a thing and it’s my senior year... So I hope you enjoy this chapter and stick with me. I still have such a long way to go!

The bus ride back featured several excited crows talking feverishly about the prospects of this upcoming season. Hinata was undoubtedly the chirpiest of the bunch, moving around so much that even Takeda had to tell him to settle down. Kageyama yanked on his coat and pulled him back into his seat.

"Why did I get stuck with the noisy elementary kid?" he muttered darkly. His arms were crossed and he hadn't said much throughout the trip back to Karasuno.

"Who are you calling an elementary kid? You're the one in the corner sulking." Hinata poked him in the cheek and Kageyama slapped the hand away.

"I'm not sulking. I'm just…"

"Is it turnip-head? Or the team we faced? I guess it  _is_  weird for you to see them again so soon."

Kageyama shook his head. "It's nothing." But he couldn't help feel apprehensive about Oikawa. What would have happened had he been there for the whole match?

When the boys got to their dorms, Hinata began working on his homework almost immediately, a rare sight.

"Why are you in such a hurry?" Kageyama asked, unpacking his sports bag, homework the last thing on his mind. He had become more comfortable with talking to Hinata—or maybe that wasn't the right way to word it. He was suddenly asking questions he wouldn't normally ask. As if he cared about Hinata outside of volleyball. Or something.

"A guy in my class asked me if I wanted to stay in his room tonight so we can have a smash tournament, but I need to finish my homework first."

Kageyama stared at the back of Hinata's unruly head, his eyebrows raised. He couldn't fathom what a "smash tournament" was. When he didn't respond, Hinata turned.

"…Is that okay?" he asked.

Kageyama's traditional frown settled over his face. "Why the hell would I care? I'm not your mother. I can finally get some peace and quiet around here.  _And maybe have my bed to myself._ "

He said the last line rather darkly and a blush erupted on Hinata's face. "That was an  _accident!_ " he protested, crunching his homework in his hands and realizing the mistake. "Shit," he muttered, quickly smoothing the paper back out.

"Whatever," Kageyama said, moving to the bathroom to shower. It was the first time he'd mentioned the incident since it happened. Hinata's flushed, embarrassed face entered his mind as he pulled the bathroom door closed between the two of them. The feelings he'd experienced while under the covers with his roommate, the overwhelming warmth and touch of skin, made him pray to God it never happened again.

Kageyama turned the water on, making sure it was hotter than sin so he could try and burn away these thoughts.

 _It was an accident,_ he repeated.  _It was an accident._ Kageyama tried to breathe.  _You'll have the room to yourself. You'll be able to concentrate without that nitwit. You'll finally be at ease._

A tightness had grown in Kageyama's chest regarding Hinata. When the boy smiled. When he whisked his shirt off in front of him. (He still couldn't get completely naked in his own room, and when Kageyama did, Hinata was always looking away). The bed incident had only irritated this bizarre feeling.

Why Hinata? Was it the kindness the boy showed when nightmares plagued him? The fact that this was the closest thing that he'd had to a friendship? The fact that Hinata was the sun and he couldn't feel like anything but a dark, cold night?  _What was this damned feeling?_

Kageyama pressed a palm to the wet tile wall and let the water massage his aching head.

When he got out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around himself, Hinata was ready to take his place.

"Finally," he sighed, slipping in and shutting the door. Kageyama rolled his eyes to nothing in particular.

He changed.

He sat at his desk, his face buried in an essay he had to analyze.

He did  _not_ think about Hinata, or the intensity of his gaze when he was serious about something, his eyes crinkled shut when he was about to spike Kageyama's toss, his cackle when he laughed with the team, his ability to make friends with absolutely anyone in a way that had Kageyama watching him closely, as if he were a science experiment—

Hinata, Hinata, Hinata.

Kageyama bashed his forehead against his desk and was met with the vision of orange hair.

The boy in Kageyama's thoughts threw the bathroom door open and went to his dresser, in a hurry. Kageyama's eyes unconsciously slid to the source of energy, his body turning slightly to face what he couldn't understand, captivation that was completely unexplainable—

Hinata was  _naked._

Hinata was naked, and Kageyama could not for the life of him look away.

The boy was turned sideways, rummaging through his drawers quickly, clearly flustered. He probably thought Kageyama sat oblivious at his desk.

The orange hair on his head looked almost brown from the shower, but his locks were already curling and frizzing in a way that made Kageyama's hands twitch, eager to touch it. Hinata was all angles covered with soft skin, tantalizingly freckled. Small shoulder, sharp clavicle, taut belly. The hipbone that Kageyama sometimes got a peek of when the boy jumped for a spike was now completely exposed to him, pronounced and smooth, milk white under their florescent dorm light. The small curve of his ass, dimpled and muscular, made Kageyama's pulse speed up, warmth spreading to places he didn't want it to reach. But the soft whisper of orange hair dipping down into Hinata's front provoked an unintentional reaction that made Kageyama rip his eyes away, gripping his pants.

He was  _hard._

Kageyama was hard, staring at a textbook, and counting down the seconds until his roommate finally left.

Hinata slipped some boxers on and dressed quickly, but the moment he had been exposed was enough time for Kageyama to question everything he had ever known about girls and doubt if he would ever feel that way towards them.

 _Please leave, please leave, please leave,_ Kageyama thought frantically, about to burst with confusion and mortification.

Hinata slung a bag over his shoulder and opened the door; he hesitated before swinging it shut behind him.

"…You sure you'll be fine?" he asked, hesitant, compassionate in a way that Kageyama couldn't stand right now. Not right now.

"Get the hell out of here, dumbass," he managed to grumble, his hand still trying to calm a pulsing erection that had come out of nowhere.

"Why do I even ask," Hinata mumbled, shutting the door with force.

When Hinata was gone, Kageyama thought he would be able to calm down, but his thoughts still trampled him with images of coarse hair, golden eyes, and cream hipbones.

_Hipbones._

What was it about hipbones that were so provocative?

Did everyone think hipbones were provocative?

Wait. Kageyama should definitely not be thinking about men's hipbones.

But would a woman's hipbone give him an erection like Hinata had?

He though of Kiyoko, the college girl that every guy on campus tried to talk to when she showed up for volleyball practice, with no way in hell of having a chance.

Nothing.

Then slowly, carefully, (as an experiment  _only)_ , Kageyama allowed Hinata to enter his mind. The Hinata that wrote corny letters to his little sister. The Hinata who jumped to his side when other people flinched away. The Hinata who had no consciousness of his physical abilities, who soared on the court and brightened the atmosphere with the team in a way Kageyama never could. In a way that Kageyama fed on, hungrily drawn to the light that he didn't see in himself. Hinata's hair on his chest, his breath tickling his skin. Hinata's hipbone hard under Kageyama's hand when he pressed his palm to it, tracing circles into the red-head's skin with his thumb, planting a kiss on his—

_KISS?!_

Kageyama stood violently, his erection apparent in his sweatpants. He grabbed his headphones, shoved them into his ears, and crawled into bed. He cranked the volume up and played distracting music. He tried to calm down.

"I fucking hate you," Kageyama whispered into nothing.

He hated how Hinata filled his mind, and yet the room felt barren and empty without him. He thought he would enjoy the alone time, and yet Kageyama was deafened by silence in a way that made him ache for the prattling voice of his bright and oblivious roommate.

And God, why did he get hard, of all things? It hadn't just been Hinata's individual parts stirring something inside of Kageyama. It had been the thought of that small body, as a whole, under him, under his fingers, making the noises that he  _wished_ would arouse him when they came from girls—

_Am I gay?_

It wasn't the first time he had thought it, and Kageyama guessed that most everyone entertained the idea, if not for a brief moment before dismissing it completely, like he had at first. For some reason, though, the reaction a naked Hinata had provoked in him made him want to cry, under the covers, still hard and confused.

Kageyama thought about masturbating. No one would know. Hinata wouldn't know. He thought about touching himself with this new, vivid image in his mind.

He would never be able to face his roommate ever again.

Kageyama rolled over in his bed, stuffy and sad, in his silent room. He tried to sleep.

* * *

Hinata didn't know why he had come back to the room after the smash tournament.

It was late. Or early, depending on how you looked at it. Kageyama would be furious if Hinata woke him up. He'd packed his bag with every intention of sleeping over in his friend's dorm.

And yet he was unlocking their door and slipping inside, trying to remain as ghostlike as possible.

Kageyama was crying in his sleep. It was a sound that hit him like the sharp pain evoked when you hit your funny bone, nerves aflame.

 _The dreams,_ Hinata whispered in his head. He hadn't wanted to admit it, but this was why he'd come back. As stolid as Kageyama pretended to be, he was actually used to being alone in the most tortuous way. Bearing every burden on his own, even in sleep. Hinata frowned when he saw Kageyama this way, sweat on his brow, his cheeks wet.

_I saw him smile for the first time yesterday, and yet…_

The clock read one-oh-something. It didn't matter. All of Hinata and Kageyama's most vulnerable and tentative interactions seemed to happen at unearthly hours of the morning.

"Kageyama," Hinata whispered, his voice cracking. He put his bag down and edged closer to the bed. If they hadn't wound up being roommates, Hinata wouldn't have been privy to this. He wouldn't feel a connection to Kageyama that went beyond his freak toss and blood-curdling scowl. He wondered if anyone else would have done anything to help ease Kageyama's nightmares if they'd been his roommate.

Hinata touched his shoulder tentatively. The skin was hot. His shoulders were so much broader than his own, the skin darker and coarser. He wanted more of it in an irrational way.

But more urgently, he wanted to comfort this hurting boy.

"Hinata…?" Kageyama grumbled, his voice thick and uncertain. He rolled over, his back against the wall, deep in his bunk. His eyes were hidden by the shadows.

"Yeah," Hinata breathed.

"I thought you were sleeping over—"

"Not tonight. I—"

Hinata couldn't finish.

"You what?" Kageyama sounded more like himself, sounded more like he was throwing off the creeping tendrils of his dreams that always grasped him so tightly.

"I couldn't help thinking… you might be like this."

Hinata, swept up by the sadness in his heart, the confusion regarding his roommate, wiped a tear from Kageyama's cheek. He had to set his knee on the bed and lean into the darkness to do it.

Kageyama slapped his hand away.

 _I should have expected that,_ Hinata thought dryly.

"You don't have to worry about me. I'm not a child."

"You  _are_ though. We both are." Hinata was still leaning over the bed, his palms in Kageyama's damp sheets.

"We're in high school."

Hinata shrugged. "No one can keep bottling stuff up forever. It'll make you uglier and uglier with every passing day."

It was supposed to sound like a joke, but it pierced Kageyama's heart. He'd always associated his appearance and social skills with the traumas of his past.

Hinata got out of the bed with a creak and walked over to his dresser, taking off his basketball shorts and hoodie, stripping down to a white t-shirt and boxers. Kageyama was overwhelmed with the thought of having Hinata in his bed again. Hinata was a bright warmth he wanted to cling too. Desperately.

"I'm just going to bed if you—"

"—What's a smash tournament."

Kageyama had interrupted just as the dumbass was headed for the bunk bed ladder. His question came out as a rough demand, his voice still thick from the nightmares.

"You've never played Super Smash Brothers?" Hinata asked, clearly surprised that Kageyama was prolonging their conversation.

"No."

Hinata traveled hesitantly back to the side of Kageyama's bed. "It's really fun."

There was silence.

"…Is that all?" Hinata asked.

"I don't know how to talk to people. About my nightmares. I refuse to tell you about them." Kageyama's blush was hidden by shadow, but Hinata detected the flustered tone of his voice.

"Okay," Hinata sighed. "You don't have to."

"But last night, I didn't have any."

"Last night…?" Hinata ventured.

"Yeah." Kageyama was going to hell. He was really going to pay for what he was trying to ask.

"You mean… when I…"

"Yeah," Kageyama said again.

More silence.

"You know what? Forget it." Kageyama was red. He wanted to forget he'd even implied the thought. He was delirious with sleep. Strange things always happened between him and Hinata where his dreams were concerned, conversations and feelings developed that made him more and more confused.

"You are a fucking cryptic asshole," Hinata growled, throwing back Kageyama's covers and sliding into them.

"Wait!" Kageyama hissed.

"No," Hinata countered stubbornly. "You drink my glasses of water. You listen to my sob stories at two in the morning about my dad. You  _imply_  that your nightmares go away when I stumble into your bed. Well  _here I am._ "

It was the first time Kageyama had actually heard Hinata sound… pissed. Not just angry in that flagrant way that was never truly serious, that never lasted. He wasn't flustered or embarrassed. He was set on comforting Kageyama in any way he could. Kageyama remembered the trace of the thumb that had wiped the tear from his cheek. His head spun with visions of Hinata's curved ass, decadent as a fucking crescent roll, making him question his sexuality more than he ever had. Hinata was the only person who had wanted to heal his emotional bruises and connect with him by sharing his own. His mom's ghost haunted his dreams, making it unbearable to have such a compassionate person slide into his sheets.

Kageyama reached for Hinata, hungered for his skin. The room had been silent before he'd come through the door, and now his ears were filled with the sound of his breath, the touch of his orange hair, the noisy whine as Hinata pulled more pillow towards him.

Hinata didn't put his hands around Kageyama like he had when he'd been drunk. The clarity of sobriety made him awkward. Kageyama would have to initiate.

He pulled Hinata into his tired chest, making the crook of his arm a pillow, nerves searing from the sensation of Hinata's hair. The other arm pulled comforter over the both of them, wrapping Hinata in a cocoon. When Kageyama was settled, his breathing steady, Hinata relaxed. Well, his body relaxed. His heart was pounding.

From the light a streetlamp cast through their window, Hinata saw raven-black hairs sticking to Kageyama's forehead. The strands were probably fine and smooth, unlike his own. He hadn't realized this was what he'd wanted until it had happened.

 _Of course he wants someone to comfort him,_ Hinata thought, trying to rationalize it. He curled his leg so his knee touched Kageyama's thigh, muscular and warm.  _He hasn't ever been comforted in his life, from what I can tell._

He was trying to savor it, the feeling of Kageyama's heat next to his own, his skin a more comfortable pillow than the one in the bunk above. Hinata pressed his nose to Kageyama's collarbone and inhaled gently. It was a smell he was all too used to, mixed with the intimate scent of salt that sparked a shiver under the hem of his boxers.

The two boys were in  _deep_.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noya & his boyfriend problems show up unannounced.

Hinata didn't want to get out of bed.

And that was definitely a problem.

When he'd started to rouse himself from sleep, the events of the night before flooded back to him. The smooth plane he was snuggled into wasn't a pillow—it was Kageyama's chest. The arms around him gave off warmth and comfort that was different from cuddles with his sister, hugs from his mother. His heart pushed against his ribs in an alien way.

Hinata decided he was willing to do this... whatever  _this_ was. He was willing to help Kageyama with his dreams. It would help him be a better volleyball player, and it would help him learn that people weren't always enemies. It was simply… a friendly thing to do.

Right?

Kageyama stirred and Hinata froze, panicking. He pretended to be asleep, praying that Kageyama would just kick him out of bed and be done with it so the awkwardness of  _actually enjoying cuddles with Kageyama_  would be over.

Kageyama's legs stretched away from Hinata's, and he became conscious of the body next to him. Instead of shoving, as Hinata suspected he would, he drew a hand over Hinata's curls, mesmerized by the bedhead. Kageyama's touch was so gentle and sudden that Hinata had to hold his breath to stop from moving.

Instead of resorting to violence, Kageyama simply slipped his arm from under Hinata's head and sat up, gently pulling himself to the end of the bed and clambering over Hinata's legs to stand, making his way to the bathroom.

Hinata's eyes flew open when he heard the door click shut. His heart was racing.

_What the fuck was that?!_

Tender Kageyama was something Hinata never wanted to encounter again. He was still shivering from such an unprovoked and sensitive touch.

And yet… he was already wondering which bunk he'd be sleeping in tonight, and he definitely knew which he wanted it to be.

Hinata, settled in Kageyama's smell, threw the blankets off of him like they were toxic and started getting ready for class.

Kageyama popped out of the bathroom just as Hinata was buttoning his shirt.

"You're buttons don't line up," he commented, already changed into his own clothes. If Kageyama thought the atmosphere was tense, he didn't show it. Hinata took a deep breath and tried not to think about the strangeness in his stomach.

In class, they didn't look at each other.

Well.

That wasn't really unusual.

Hinata chatted casually with his classmates, settling on top of his desk with his feet crossed, casting a glance towards Kageyama, who had his face buried in a book about volleyball. The library binding gave the cover an abnormal gloss.

Someone mentioned Smash Brothers and Hinata's head swiveled to the person talking, immediately absorbed in the conversation, nodding eagerly and laughing as the story unfolded.

"So loud," Kageyama muttered, eyeing Hinata from above the pages of his book.

Hinata turned his head at the noise.

"Stop being so grumpy and  _talk to people,_ " he advised. The group surrounding him was already casting wary glances in Kageyama's direction. The sensitivity Hinata felt towards Kageyama's existence vanished.  _If only they knew what I knew,_ Hinata thought.  _All bark and no bite._

The start of Hinata's friend-making lecture was cut off by the appearance of the homeroom teacher. Kageyama put his book down reluctantly, placing his cheek in his palm and looking out the window. Despite this, he could still see orange out of the corner of his eye. What had possessed him to touch that hair this morning? Why was Hinata's presence becoming less of an annoyance and more of a comfort?

"Hey, Kageyama? Can we share a textbook for the next class? I forgot mine…"

"Again?!" Kageyama snapped out of his reverie, whipping around to deliver a glare so concentrated that Hinata yelped.

_Never mind. He's useless._

* * *

In volleyball…

In volleyball, they were doing better.

Ever since the discovery of their new secret weapon, practice became all about honing that skill. Hinata still had many other technical abilities to work on, but he was happiest when working with Kageyama on spikes, and that made Kageyama bizarrely pleased.

Every time Hinata jumped and Kageyama caught a flash of skin,  _that thought_ grew stronger and stronger.

Midriff.

_Gay?_

Bellybutton.

_Gay…_

Upper thigh.

_Gay._

Hipbone.

_Yeah. Really gay._

The confirmation wasn't surprising. In fact, the more Kageyama thought about it, the more it made sense.

He was perfectly willing to admit he was gay.

But he refused to admit that he was at all attracted to the fumbling, obnoxious idiot that was Hinata Shoyo.

The objective male body parts?

Fine.

The boy himself?

No way in hell.

In fact, Kageyama was thinking this thought over and over again when practicing jump serves after practice, driving each one home as a testament to his dislike of Hinata's physical being.

That is, until a figure darted out onto the court with a blinding flash, receiving his powerful serve perfectly.

Kageyama stared, wide-eyed and dumbfounded. Hinata had just exited the locker room to catch the whole thing.

"That was amazing!" he squealed, running over to the stranger.

His hair was gelled into brown spikes, a blond portion of bang falling over his forehead. An industrial bar glinted in his left ear. When Hinata got closer, he noticed something even more amazing. "…How tall are you?"

"159 centimeters!" the kid responded.

"You—! You're shorter than me!" he squawked, pleased beyond words.

"Oi."

"I've never looked down on anyone before," Hinata relished, ignoring the fury building in the person in front of him.

"You don't have to be so happy about it," the small boy snapped.

Others were drifting out of the locker room and noticed the stranger immediately.

"Noya!" Tanaka yelled, jogging to the middle of the gym to meet him.

"Hey, Ryu," he responded, anger towards Hinata dissipating. "How's it going?"

"Nishinoya," Daichi said fondly. "Let me introduce you. This is Hinata and Kageyama, our blockhead first-years. This is Nishinoya, a second year."

"Woah! First-years! Glarey-eyes, what jr. high are you from?"

Kageyama scowled before replying. "Kitagawa…"

"Wow, that's a powerhouse school! You guys beat us 2 to 1 in middle school! No wonder you have a serve like that!"

"Noisy as ever," Daichi muttered to Suga, pulling a giggle from the silver-haired boy.

"Like a hurricane," Suga agreed.

"Yet when he plays, he's surprisingly… quiet," Daichi mused.

"So where's Asahi?" Nishinoya asked the captain, his eyes shining brightly.

This question caused the third-years to freeze, their change in posture catching the first years' attention.

"He… didn't come back," Daichi answered.

Noya's expression changed—his eyes darkened and he gritted his teeth, casting his face downward and clenching his fists.

"That… coward!" he yelled, his voice echoing off the expanse of the gym and startling both Hinata and Kageyama. "Just because we… just because things ended badly between us…"

The pain in his voice was raw and surprising.

"You shouldn't talk about him that way," Tanaka chided roughly. The atmosphere had turned sour.

"I'll say whatever I damn please, Ryu!" Noya yelled, his voice increasing in volume. " _A coward is a coward._ "

Despite his hateful tone, the hurt in Noya's face could not be disguised.

"What… happened?" Kageyama asked.

"If Asahi doesn't come back, neither will I," Noya said, ignoring him. "If he loves volleyball… if he loves…"

Noya smashed his fist into the wall next to him, cursing. Hinata tried to intervene, flustered, but Noya was already walking out the door.

"Those are my terms," he called, waving. "It was nice to meet you guys."

Suga sighed. "Always so dramatic."

"Sorry about that," Daichi huffed. "There are some complications where Noya and Asahi are concerned."

"What kind of complications?" Hinata asked. He was inspecting the part of the wall that had received a pounding. There was a smudge of blood on the yellow paint.

Daichi responded with "nothing really" at the same time Suga said "they dated."

"Dated?!" Hinata and Kageyama responded in unison.

Daichi shot Suga a look, but the setter smiled and responded anyway. "Yes, but there were other things, too. Noya is a libero dedicated to helping the spikers score, and this was especially the case with our ace, Asahi. But we had a particularly difficult match… it kind of crushed Asahi's self-confidence our second year."

"Noya tried to get him back on his feet, but instead, they had a fight," Daichi said.

"A nasty one."

Kageyama was interested in this development. He had just recently "discovered" his own sexuality (more like unearthed it from piles and piles of suppressed emotion with the help of a human tangerine) and the idea of talking to someone who was gay was a comforting one.

Hinata's jaw might have well been on the floor.

"All things aside, we should try and recruit this Asahi person," Kageyama reasoned. "A spiker and a libero would be great additions to the team."

Daichi and Suga traded doubtful glances.

"You can try, but we've already asked plenty of times. And no one has asked more than Noya." Sugawara looked sad at the thought.

"I want to meet Karasuno's ace," Hinata suddenly whined, pulling on Kageyama's shirtsleeve. The touch made Kageyama jump. He cursed himself and his nerves.

"We will," he growled. "Stop being impatient." Kageyama turned to the third years. "We will talk to Noya and Asahi tomorrow," he promised.

"That would be great," Daichi smiled.

It didn't reach his eyes.

* * *

Kageyama and Hinata spotted Noya at dinner and decided to sit with him. No one had joined the spikey-haired player yet, so the first-years took their chance.

He was not pleased at first.

"Why are you here?" he asked, wolfing down his food with reckless abandon.

"Please please pleaaaaaase teach me how to receive!" Hinata begged. He put his hands together like he was praying, squeezing his eyes shut.

"Huh?" Noya grunted, a shrimp dangling from his lips. This was clearly not the request he'd expected.

"I can't receive!" Hinata whined.

Kageyama crossed his arms. "He really can't."

Hinata punched him in the shoulder, but it didn't do much to the corded muscle under Kageyama's sweater.

"Are you two like, dating or something?" Noya asked, his mouth still full of food.

"What?!" both of them yelled, leaning in across the table, each with their own form of disgust on their faces.

"Why the heck would you think that?" Hinata asked, casting a nervous glance at the raven-haired boy beside him.

"We're roommates," Kageyama retorted, equally flustered.

Noya snickered. "Yeah, okay."

"And stop changing the subject!" Hinata pointed. "Please teach me to receive!"

"Okay."

"I am begging you!"

" _I said okay,_ " Noya repeated. "Yeesh."

"Oh." Hinata looked surprised and relieved.

"But I'm not joining that team until Asahi does. I'll just help you at practice."

Hinata nodded.

"I mean, what kind of upper-classmen would I be if I didn't help a first-year in need?"

Kageyama rolled his eyes. "What is your problem with Asahi, anyway?" he asked.

"He's my ex-boyfriend. I don't really want to talk about it." A darkness fell over his face.

Kageyama hadn't expected Noya to be so upfront about it. "Oh," was all he could say in response.

"That's fine, that's fine," Hinata rushed, elbowing Kageyama. "Let's talk about something else."

Noya had also gone to a powerhouse middle school, so the trio talked excitedly about volleyball while they ate. It was a lively and surprisingly enjoyable conversation to Kageyama, even with Hinata interjecting with his random and annoying thoughts.  _This kid has literally wiped away my tears,_ he thought with wonder.  _I don't think there is a genuinely mean bone in his body._

Noya noticed Kageyama staring at the ball of orange energy with a thoughtful gaze, but he kept it to himself.

* * *

Hinata slept in his own bed that night.

He didn't look at Kageyama as the boy slipped off his cream-colored sweater in exchange for his pj shirt.

He didn't notice that the skin was darker than his own, mixed with olive color, or that his build was substantially larger.

He  _definitely_ ignored the emptiness of his twin bed and the sudden thought of Kageyama's smell.

"I wonder what Asahi looks like," Hinata mused, ignoring the gnawing in his chest.

"If you're thinking about sizing up your competition, I wouldn't get your hopes up in finding someone as short as you are." Kageyama slipped under his covers.

"Shut up," Hinata said mildly. "I meant as Noya's boyfriend."

"Suddenly interested in someone?" Kageyama asked. He meant for it to sound like teasing, but it came out in his usual stern tone.

"No, idiot."  _At least not in Noya,_ Hinata thought bitterly.  _What_ had happened to him? There was a time when he could only ever think about hating Kageyama, crushing his stupid ego into the ground. Now he was attracted to him?

"I wonder what it's like, dating a guy…" Kageyama said softly. His voice was rough around the edges, the words barely a thought escaping his lips. Hinata's eyes blew wide in the dark room.

"Do you… do you see yourself dating a guy?" Hinata asked. It was so similar to the conversation they'd had in the classroom, and the one about Kiyoko. Without realizing it, Hinata was pining for a certain answer.

"Yeah," Kageyama said.

Hope, stupid and irrational, bloomed in Hinata's chest. What was it about the two of them, sharing this dark room together? So many things pulled Hinata towards Kageyama—vulnerability, the silences they shared that didn't feel like silences, his insults that didn't feel like insults anymore.

"Me too," Hinata said without thinking. He'd never said anything like that before, not even to himself.

The two boys buzzed with an unnamed excitement as they hugged their pillows and prayed for sleep.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata is a scaredy-cat and Asanoya dramaaa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slow updates, guys! I have to put a lot of time and energy into my schoolwork. Not the longest chapter, but I wanted to get something up while I had the chance!

A noise pierced Kageyama's sleep so sharply that he rolled out of bed and covered his ears. At first, he thought it was the fire alarm, but upon regaining his senses, realized that the noise was too inconsistent and ragged to be an alarm.

Hinata was screaming at the top of his lungs.

Kageyama got to his feet and his eyes almost rolled back in his head he was frowning so hard. If giving dirty looks was a sport, volleyball might have been the wrong choice for him.

Hinata bolted from the bathroom in his boxers, tears forming at the corner of his eyes.

"What the fuck…?" Kageyama asked as Hinata ran under his arm and grabbed the back of his shirt, his scream subsiding to whimpers.

He peered out from behind Kageyama like there had been a murderer in the bathroom.

"There's a spider in the shower!" Hinata whined, tugging on Kageyama's shirt, as if this were a proper request for the bigger boy to "handle it."

Kageyama  _might_ have been swept up in the ratio between Hinata's closeness and the amount of clothes he was wearing, but instead, his breath hitched for a different reason.

A snort flew out of his nose.

His shoulders shook.

He covered his mouth with his hand, but he couldn't stop it from bubbling out of his mouth.

Kageyama was  _laughing._

"HEY," Hinata barked, looking up in awe at the smiling face. The laughter built until Kageyama was booming with it. Hinata forgot his offense and took in the crease in Kageyama's eyes as they squinted with joy, his teeth, straight and white, shining with his lips pulled back into a smile.

Hinata waited for the laughter to subside, and it ended much too quickly for his liking. When the room was quiet, Hinata realized his heart was fluttering.

"You are an idiot," Kageyama sighed. It sounded so soft-hearted that Hinata's eyes widened, his lips turned down in surprise.

"Spiders are terrifying," he muttered in response, still gripping Kageyama's shirt.

"They are not." Kageyama took a step towards the bathroom, but Hinata interjected, yanking on his shirt.

"No! I can handle it!"

"You just woke me up because you were  _screaming_ so loud."

"Well, I'm mad at you because you laughed."

Kageyama snorted and Hinata marched into the bathroom. A few seconds passed before the boy came running out again.

 _"Ican'tdoitIcan'tdoitIcan'tdoit,"_  he said frantically, jumping on Kageyama's back and wrapping his hands around his neck.

"Idiot, what are you doing?" Kageyama asked in a strangled voice, Hinata's legs wrapped firmly around his torso. He tried to pull him off but only succeeded in pinching and grasping at hot skin. The boy was like a suction cup.

"We gotta go get it," Hinata said seriously.

" _I_ have to get it. You can't be trusted to go near it."

"I'm making sure you don't kill it."

"Of course I'm going to kill it. What else would I do with it?"

"It didn't do anything wrong! We have to save it."

Kageyama pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers. Hinata's vice-grip on his hips, his arms heating up the skin at his neck,  _the fact that he was in nothing but boxers,_  made Kageyama unbearably aware of feelings he was trying to deny. Hair tickled his cheek and Hinata was breathing in his ear, causing heat to crawl up Kageyama's skin.

Despite this, he was in awe at how light Hinata was as he trudged into the bathroom with the boy on his back, inspecting the shower moodily.

"Right there," Hinata pointed.

"Oh my god," Kageyama muttered.  _It was tiny._ He could crush it with the pad of his thumb. Which he was about to do when Hinata covered his eyes and yanked on his hair, squealing and wriggling on Kageyama's back. A blush flooded his face at the fingers in his scalp and the movement of Hinata's body.

"I  _told_ you, we have to save it."

"Fine, fine." Kageyama cupped his hand over the spider in hopes that it would crawl onto his fingers.

It didn't.

Instead, it skittered from underneath his hand, causing Hinata to absolutely  _freak._

He screamed, grabbing Kageyama's hair again and yanking hard. Kageyama yelled, no longer interested in the spider, but instead in keeping his balance as his foot slipped in the small shower. As he fell forward, Hinata let go of his grip and tumbled backwards, and Kageyama lost his footing completely. They both crashed to the floor, tangled in each other's limbs.

Kageyama's head struck the wall of the shower, so he was a bit disoriented before realizing what had happened.

Somehow, Hinata had managed to fall into his chest as he'd tried not to slip. He was settled between Kageyama's knees, his own legs curled at an odd angle, arms hugging Kageyama for dear life. The raven-haired boy froze as Hinata stirred, orange hair brushing his chin as the tangerine raised his head. Hinata's freckled skin was all over—the curve of his bony spine that dipped into thin boxer shorts, the concentrated speckles on his shoulders, soft brown dots on the back of his thighs. Kageyama swallowed.

Their faces ware inches from each other, Hinata's amber eyes glowing under the sharp bathroom light, his senses overloaded by the body under him, by the fact that Kageyama's eyes were tracing his skin.

It looked like Kageyama might kiss him. In fact, Hinata though that's where the sudden moment was going, dark eyes lidded and cheeks flushed as Kageyama inched his face closer to his. Their exchange from the night before circled in his mind aimlessly, the hope he had felt then returning.

But then there was a pressure on his shoulders as Kageyama shoved him away, cool air flooding the space between them. Kageyama rose to his feet and left the bathroom.

"The next time you have a spider problem, you're on your own," he said hoarsely.

Hinata felt strangely disappointed, sitting at the bottom of the shower and replaying that moment over and over, wondering, not for the first time, what Kageyama had been thinking.

"And for god's sake, put some clothes on."

* * *

 

The duo was getting entirely too good at ignoring the bizarre things that happened between them.

Standing outside of Asahi's homeroom, they were bickering as usual, as if Hinata hadn't been on top of Kageyama in nothing but his boxers earlier that morning.

"You go in first," Kageyama said, elbowing the smaller boy beside him.

" _You_ go in first. The third-year classrooms are scary," Hinata replied, elbowing back.

"You  _owe_ me after this morning," Kageyama growled.

Before they could gather enough courage between them, the door swung open and a familiar face greeted them.

"Hinata?" Sugawara blinked, clearly surprised. "Kageyama? What are you doing here?"

Hinata was fidgeting. "We wanted to talk to Asahi…"

Before Sugawara could respond, a guy came up behind him to see what the commotion was about.

"Suga, what's going on here?"

"Oh, Asahi! These are our new first-years, Hinata and Kageyama." Sugawara slid to the side so his classmate could get a better look at the visitors.

"First-years, huh?" Asahi murmured, a kind smile on his face.

"They've proved to be quite reliable," Suga beamed.

Asahi looked less like a high school boy and more like a man. The stubble on his chin was more apparent than Daichi's, with matching sideburns, and long brown hair pulled back into a bun wasn't the only part of him that spoke to his mature look. Broad shoulders and sturdy limbs, apparent even underneath his uniform, gave him a mass that had Hinata staring in awe, eyes gleaming. He was shorter than Tsukishima, but there was something that felt…  _bigger_ about him.

"You dated Nishinoya?" Kageyama said thoughtlessly. "He's a lot smaller than you."

Sugawara chuckled nervously and Kageyama looked as if he immediately regretted his words. But instead of getting angry, Asahi smiled sheepishly. "Yeah, we dated," he said, scratching the back of his head, "But it didn't work out." There was an awkward pause. "Anyway, good luck to you guys this season."

Asahi began to walk away, but Hinata ran in front of him.

"You're not going to rejoin the team?" he asked, as if the awkwardness hadn't touched him.

"Ah, no," Asahi said, a smiled still on his lips, though it looked rather sad.

"But I want to get to see a real ace in action! If I'm going to become one myself…"

"Sorry, but I'm no ace," Asahi responded sullenly. "I don't really like volleyball anymore."

"I don't think that's true!" Hinata said suddenly. "I think a lot of stuff happened… I also know what it feels like to get your spikes blocked." He looked at his palm. "But now that I have this guy, I can do anything!"

Hinata pointed a Kageyama, who froze. A pleased look briefly crossed his face.

"Teammates are there to help you. I'm sure Noya feels the same way."

Asahi's thick brows knit together. For the first time, he looked like he was considering how he really felt.

"Anyway, I'm jealous of you. You have the height and power to be a strong ace. Even though you've been blocked, I'm sure you've also scored a ton of points! That's why everyone calls you 'the ace,' even Noya."

Asahi stared at his feet. The bell rang.

"C'mon," Kageyama prodded. "We'll be late for class." He shoved Hinata towards the hall.

Hinata, looking defeated, turned from Asahi with slumped shoulders. Kageyama began to follow, but paused, considering something. He turned back around.

"Volleyball isn't about one player. That's why there are six on the court." He cast his eyes down. "Well… I just learned that, so I have no room to talk. But I'm sure that's why Nishinoya got mad at you or whatever. Not that it's my business."

With a tiny nod, Kageyama followed Hinata to class. Asahi stood and stared, long after they'd disappeared.

* * *

 

At practice the next day, Takeda had someone to introduce the team.

"After several attempts of… persuasion—"

"—more like  _harassment_ —"

"—um, well, this is your new coach. Keishin Ukai," Takeda continued nervously, pointing to the young man who'd interrupted him, arms crossed.

_Ukai?!_

The thought rang out unanimously, apparent on everyone's faces.

"I've also secured a future practice match with Nekoma High School, our formal rivals," Takeda went on.

"And another team will arrive shortly for the match this afternoon," Ukai announced.

Everyone looked taken aback. There was too much information to absorb.

Hinata, who had been practicing receives with Noya, gawked. "Nekoma?" he asked.

"I'm not a member, just helping out," Noya clarified.

"Like hell you aren't," Tanaka growled. "You're here every day. You trained every day while you were gone. This is where you belong!"

"Ukai?" Sugawara was still stuck on the coach announcement, Daichi equally stunned.

"Who are our opponents this afternoon?" Kageyama asked calmly, his one-track mind zeroing in on the chance to compete.

Ukai chuckled at the characters in front of him. "I hope you guys are ready for a beat-down. This team will be unlike any you've ever faced."

The man in front of them wore an intimidating grin that did indeed mirror his grandfather's. His blond hair was clearly died, a dark natural color showing through in his sideburns. With spikey hair pulled back in a hairband, earrings, and an orange hoodie, he looked like a hoodlum, not a volleyball coach.

But if he was Ukai, who the hell cared what he looked like?

"Ah! The Team Neighborhood Association is here!" Ukai opened the gym door a little wider and in stepped four more adults, around his age. They looked eager to play, looking around the gym as if reminiscing.

"Brings back memories," one of them sighed. The others nodded in agreement.

"Thanks for coming!" Ukai grinned, shaking their hands and patting backs. After his greeting, he got busy. "You! With the blond bangs! If you're not injured, you're playing, no excuses! I need you on the neighborhood's side."

Noya looked too bewildered to counter.

"I thought they'd be geezers," Tsukki mused quietly. Yamaguchi was lingering behind his tall friend, looking nervous.

"Yes! A match!" Hinata yelled, pumping his fist into the air. Kageyama couldn't help smiling at Hinata's energy.

All of this was interrupted when the gym door squeaked and Asahi peeked into the lively space.

Noya's eyes widened at the familiar face, his fists clenching and heart tightening.

Hinata squealed with delight, racing over to the third-year that he'd barely spoken to.

"Ace, ace ace!" Hinata yelled, pulling a reluctant Asahi into the gym.

"Ace?" Ukai whirled. "Why didn't you get here earlier? Who do you think you are?! Quick, change into some practice clothes, we're gonna have a match and we're short on players."

"I'm not really…" he muttered, trying to free himself from Hinata's grasp.

"I don't  _care!_ " Ukai shouted. He was just being overzealous, but Asahi thought he was really angry. He clamped his lips shut and headed for the locker room, head down. When he felt someone looking, he raised his head for an instant.

Noya was staring at him, his gaze level and expression calm, eyes piercing. Asahi's nerves settled. He remembered what the first-years had told him earlier.  _I have to make things right._

When he was changed and warmed up, they'd divided the teams. Asahi and Noya happened to be on the Neighborhood Association's side together. Asahi swallowed and tried to avoid eye contact, focusing solely on the game and performing his best.

Suga, also setting for their team, smiled at the third-year. "I'm glad I get to set to you again, Asahi. I'll try to give you tosses that get through."

Asahi gritted his teeth.  _Teammates are there to help you._ Hinata's words rang in his head. He hadn't eased the team's burden by leaving. He'd made it heavier by failing to hold his own weight, taking a coward's path and quitting out of fear.

 _I'm so pitiful,_ he thought helplessly.  _How can I face the team I cherish? The boy I love?_

As if Noya could love him after all that had happened.

On the other side of the net, Hinata failed to notice the tension or the sullen expression of the ace. He was too wound up to be as perceptive as usual.

The game began and Asahi realized he remembered more than he thought. Instincts took over, placing his feelings in the back seat while he tried to get his bearings on every play.

Doubts festered, though. Despite his concentration, Asahi couldn't help but notice how dependable Suga had become, couldn't help but glance at the bruises Noya had accumulated from hours of throwing himself to the floor for saves.

 _I have to prove that I'm dependable…_ he chanted, waiting for his turn to strike the ball.

When he saw Hinata's jump, saw the boy spike, he realized how much he really missed volleyball.

Hinata's energy was beautiful. His jump captivating. And Kageyama facilitated it all; the toss was perfect.

Asahi wanted to compete with that spike, his blood heating up with anticipation. He felt a determined smile creep into his face.

"That's what I want," he growled. Noya's eyebrows shot up. "No matter how many times I fail, I want to spike the ball!"

Noya sighed, and Asahi turned at the sound. He found Noya with his eyes closed, his hand clutching his jersey, right over his heart. His expression was peaceful.

"Good. Now that you've said that, I'm fine." Noya opened his eyes and Asahi wanted to close the distance between him and kiss that soft expression, so trustful and hopeful after only a few words.

But their moment was shattered by the momentum of the game. It was Hinata's serve. The ball went into play, and one of the neighborhood guys gave Asahi a prime opportunity to spike.

"I'm gonna block you for real," Tanaka warned, jumping with the blockers from the other team. He clearly didn't want to.

Asahi leapt.

The ball met resistance and his heart sank.

But then Noya was diving, reaching, sliding, his hand the only layer between the ball and the floor. He kept it in play.

Everyone was shocked. Tanaka looked like he was about to sob at the sight of the amazing save.

"I'll keep the ball in play," Noya breathed, rising to his feet and getting back into position. "So keep calling for the ball!  _Ace!_ "

 _Damn you,_ Asahi thought, Noya's confidence filling him. The ball was soaring towards Suga, but he wasn't sure who to toss to.

Asahi  _made_ him decide.

 _"SUGA!"_ he roared, the cry ripping from his chest and echoing across the gym.  _"One more!"_

 _Ah. There he is,_ Suga thought. The decision was immediate.

He tossed, and Asahi delivered a powerful blow. The defense didn't stand a chance.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been awhile since I've updated this, so thank you for sticking with me! I've abandoned my original plan of this being a general re-write of season one and instead I'll wrap it up with a few crucial scenes I have solidified into what I hope is a satisfying ending. I don't want this fic to be left hanging, as it's the longest I've ever written! There are still a few more chapters to go after this one, but I hope you enjoy!

Even a practice match victory can be sweet.

As the rest of the boys realized later when they found Asahi and Noya making out in the locker room the next day.

"Guys. We're happy you're back, but also…" Daichi's ears turned red. It had been quite a  _passionate_ kissing session.

Not only did Asahi decide to return to the team, but he and Noya were back together and rather quick to show off some impressive displays of PDA. Clearly never Asahi's idea, judging from his mortification and apologies.

With the team's positive (yet slightly annoyed) reaction to Asahi and Noya being together 24/7, Kageyama was trying to squash hope that refused to be crushed.

He really needed to talk to someone.

"Hey Kageyama, feeling ready for the interhigh?"

Hinata had leaned over his bunk to peer into Kageyama's, orange hair sticking out at every angle.

Kageyama jumped and snapped his book shut at the sudden intrusion, but the pages caught his nose and he winced. Orange was making him jumpy these days. "We have time," he said, trying to recover. "Our vacation starts before any of the matches."

"I'm so excited just thinking about it!" Hinata said, his head disappearing back towards the ceiling.

Kageyama felt infected by the tone of Hinata's words and he quirked his lips. "I'll bet you didn't think you'd be playing  _with_ me this time last year," he mused, so quietly it could have been to himself.

A pause.

And then: "No. But I'm glad I am. I couldn't have gotten where I am without you."

Hinata said the words so simply, but it let that hope bloom in Kageyama's chest, painfully tight. Hinata's head appeared again over the edge of his bed to see Kageyama making what was surely a stupid expression.

"Y-yeah. We could have kept fighting like we did in the beginning, but we didn't. It feels different now."

"But you still call me dumbass. A lot." Hinata would have looked indignant if his crazy hair didn't ruin his frown.

"You still call me asshole."

Hinata considered the retort and retracted his head again, like a tortoise to its shell.

 _Cute,_ Kageyama thought before he could stop. He wanted to have longer conversations with Hinata. To see the many expressions he made as his friends did in class. Kageyama was never very good at that. Making friends. Let alone  _boy_ friends.

His wants were growing, stacking on top of his chest and knocking the wind out of him.

He needed to talk to someone.

* * *

 

"I missed this."

Noya's voice was barely a whisper, hands tangled in Asahi's long hair. He'd fought and won against the hair tie long ago, fingering the thick locks and planting kisses on Asahi's stubbly jaw.

"Yeah," Asahi sighed.

He was never one to be vocal in intimate situations, but he was more relaxed now that they had a locked door between them and any interruptions. Asahi's room was still save for the sound of Noya's eager movements, knees on either side of Asahi's hips.

"You kept your posters up," Noya mused, giving Asahi a lidded stare between kisses. His eyes, sharp with knowing, sent shivers up Asahi's back. Yes, the posters were still up. He hadn't been able to forget about volleyball.

He hadn't been able to forget  _this._

His fingers slipped up Noya's back, under his untucked uniform (always trying to be a rebel), and he found Noya's mouth, kissing deeply to keep Noya there. His boyfriend had a habit of wandering, leaving marks.

Noya inhaled, pulling hard in Asahi's hair at the touch on his back. Such familiar, calloused hands. Noya pulled back from the kiss to pull his shirt up over his head and toss it aside. Asahi was leaning against the headboard, his hair trailing off his shoulders, his eyes looking impatient (though he'd never say he was). Instead, hands went from Noya's back to his hips, thumbs rubbing into the bone, up his sides, and then, after some hesitation, across his nipples.

Noya groaned and his chin jerked up, balling Asahi's shirt into his fists.

Asahi's mouth twitched upwards. He leaned away from the headboard to suck on Noya's chest, slowly and softly. With warm hands on his back keeping him in place, Noya felt Asahi's tongue run across one of his nipples and growled, starting to pull at the boy's shirt, unable to stand the ungodly amount of clothes that were between them. Asahi's shirt was tucked in and buttoned all the way, which made this difficult.

"You always take forever to get your clothes off," Noya muttered, yanking on fabric to get it loose from Asahi's belt.

Asahi was not listening, his mouth all over Noya's collar bones, the hollows at his neck, biting his ear…

"Asahi!" Noya growled, shoving him back into the bedframe so that he could work on the shirt from the front.

"Ah, right," the bigger boy said, unbuttoning the first few buttons and peeling his own shirt off.

Noya's eyes roved over the expanse of dark skin, the wisps of hair on his chest, and the dark trail of hair that disappeared into his belt, making Noya's stomach plunge every time he saw it.  _What happened to us?_ Noya thought, wondering what could have torn him away from this beauty, this feeling. Their fight seemed so important at the time, yet distant now that he was here, with the person who comforted every worry, kissed away all the anger, and touched him into oblivion.

"What is it?" Asahi asked nervously, and Noya broke away from his reverie.

"I missed you," Noya whispered, running his hands up Asahi's chest and kissing him fiercely.

* * *

 

"What are you doing for vacation?" Hinata asked during homeroom, sitting casually on his desk and leaning over Kageyama, his elbows on his knees and his feet in the chair.

"I have to stay here," Kageyama said brusquely. He was pretending to read, trying to figure out what his plan of action would be for this afternoon.

 _You're gonna do it. You_ have  _to do it,_ he thought, thinking about how he could get Nishinoya alone and talk to him. He was the only guy Kageyama could think of to talk to about boys and rampant emotions and all that. If he didn't seek council soon, he would explode.

"Stay here?!" Hinata said. "But everyone is going home."

Kageyama didn't want to explain. He didn't know if he could.

"It's complicated," he said. "I have to."

Hinata put his hands behind him on the desk and leaned back, deep in thought.

"You can stay at my house if you want too," Hinata suggested.

Kageyama had to look up at Hinata to make sure he wasn't joking, make sure he wasn't hearing wrong.  
Hinata's eyes fell on Kageyama's, glinting in their intense manner.

"Don't be stupid." Kageyama shook his head. "You need to ask. You need room."

"My mom never cares if I have friends over. The more the merrier. And I have a futon in my room you can use."

 _But can you really call me a friend?_ Kageyama thought.

"So how about it? We can practice volleyball on the open courts in the park. It would be fun!"

Kageyama's eyes drifted towards the window. He couldn't stop thinking about "the spare futon." Though they'd been sharing a room for months now, the idea of being in Hinata's room with him, alone, seemed more intimate somehow.

"We're… friends, right?" Hinata asked nervously. Kageyama's eyes sprang back to Hinata's face, but he was looking at his lap, his brows wrinkled with worry.

"Yes, you dumbass. We're friends." Kageyama paused, reigning in that ever persistent hope. "I'll go."

Hinata looked up, his eyes shining and the frown gone. He smiled so wide that his eyes closed and Kageyama's stomach twisted at the sight. Right then, Kageyama would have agreed to  _anything._

He turned back to his book and put his mouth to his hand, blushing to his ears.

* * *

 

After practice, Kageyama mustered his courage, put the nausea in his stomach out of his mind, and sauntered over to Noya.

"Noya. I need to talk to you."

"Jesus!" Noya jumped. "Did you murder someone? You look like you just buried a body."

Kageyama shook his head vigorously.

"Alright, well, what is it?"

"In private," Kageyama almost growled.  _"Please."_

Noya shrugged at the plea, wondering what the hell Kageyama could want, looking as constipated as he did. They walked to the back entrance of the gym and sat on the steps, away from the usual traffic and facing a deserted area behind the campus.

"Okay,  _now_ what is it?"

Kageyama fidgeted. He just had to say it. He had to get it out out _out._

"Spit it out!" Noya growled, taking ahold of Kageyama's practice jersey. "You're making me worried for your own health!"

Kageyama had turned a nasty shade of purple.

"How did you know…" he started, "with Asahi…"

He had to take a deep breath. It felt like he had forgotten how to breathe.

Noya looked confused.

"Um, about dating him…"

Noya's eyebrows shot up. He put it together. Then he laughed, clapping Kageyama on the shoulder.

"Are you asking how I knew I was  _gay?"_  Noya was still giggling, but it subsided when he saw Kageyama's face.

"Sorry, sorry for laughing," he said quickly. "I'm just not surprised. Please, like, breathe or something."

Kageyama exhaled, but he still looked extremely red. He nodded vigorously so he did not have to repeat Noya's guess.

Noya was very pleased. "It was good of you to come to your senior. I'll have you know I am an expert at this sort of thing." He crossed his arms. "And my answer is, if you have to ask, you probably just are."

Kageyama's face went blank.

 _That's it?_ He thought. Noya looked quite confident with his answer, but Kageyama's silence made him fumble.

"I mean, with Asahi, I felt all the things dumb movies say you're 'supposed' to feel about girls. Butterflies and all that." He scratched his head and laughed sheepishly. "But don't get me wrong, I like girls, too."

"What do you mean?" Kageyama's nausea was going away, replaced with the familiarity of the words Noya was saying. He'd said similar things to himself plenty of times. He was also genuinely curious. Noya was an open book, ready and willing to share his own story.

"Yeah, I'm bisexual" Noya said nonchalantly. "If you saw Ryu and I together more often, it would be pretty obvious…"

"I've never been interested in girls," Kageyama blurted out. "Just volleyball."

Noya snorted. "How honest." He looked at Kageyama with intense, brown eyes, the same look he had when receiving a difficult ball. "So why now? Why are you asking now? It should be pretty obvious, you just have to accept it and take the next step."

Orange filled Kageyama's head.  _I like Hinata,_ he thought, going red just admitting it in thought. His body and heart had known a long time ago. It was always his head that got in the way.

"So you  _do_ know," Noya chuckled. He grabbed Kageyama by the shoulders. "Just say it. It will make you feel better."

"Say what?" Kageyama mumbled, adverting his eyes.

"'I'm gay.' Try and say it out loud."

Kageyama looked up, confused (and still red).

"I know, it sounds weird, but trust me, admitting it to yourself helps. It seems scary at first, but it gets easier the more you say it."

Kageyama took a deep breath. He looked around. He looked back at Noya, who was eyeing him expectantly, free of any judgment.

"I'm—"

The gym door flew open. Kageyama fell backwards off the steps and into the bushes behind him.

"There you are, idiot. I thought we were doing the English homework together—" Hinata's rush of energy was cut short when he saw Noya pulling an extremely flustered Kageyama out of the bushes, unable to meet anyone's eyes.

"What are you guys even doing back here, anyways?" Hinata laughed awkwardly, feeling the tension in the air creeping up on him. "It took me forever to find you."

"Not much," Noya said, running a hand through his hair. "Just talking."

"Oh. What about?"

"Err…" Noya looked guiltily at the ground. He was a piss-poor liar.

Hinata looked at Kageyama, looking to be reassured, looking for the raven-haired boy to go back to his surely self.

"Nightmares!" Kageyama choked out. "We were talking about… bad dreams."

Kageyama felt relieved to say this, because he knew it was a perfectly convincing way to explain why he was worked up. The effect this answer had on Hinata, however, came as a complete surprise.

"Ah," he choked out. "I see."

Kageyama could immediately tell he'd said the wrong thing. Hinata's eyes had gone soft. His face looked hurt. His hands curled into fists.

 _Shit shit shit._ "Hinata, wait, it's not—"

"It's fine!" Hinata squeaked, a smile plastered on his face, a smile that shouldered his pain so obviously that Kageyama wanted to shake it off his face, to explain.

"Hintata, hold on—"

"See you back at the room!"

Hinata bolted across the gym and was out the door.  _So fast,_ Kageyama thought, only for a moment, before panic returned.

"Ah, young love," Noya said, getting to his feet with a knowing smile.

Kageyama put his face in his hands.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter might be a little rushed, but I am trying my best to keep to a schedule! Hope you like it!
> 
> TW: suicide. It is mentioned briefly in some backstory and wanted to give fair warning to those it might trigger.

Hinata wasn't in the room.

Neither was his bookbag, or the telltale signs that he'd be returning.

Kageyama muffled a frustrated yell with his own pillow, trying to figure out where it all went wrong. He fell back on his bed, frowning so hard he could feel the headache emerging.

Hinata had been comforting Kageyama through his nightmares for months. Kageyama couldn't talk about his mother in front of Hinata in even the best of circumstances. Of  _course_ he'd be upset, thinking that Kageyama had revealed that part of himself to someone they just met.

 _And I just said we were friends today,_ Kageyama thought.  _Idiot. What kind of friend am I._

Though he was wrought anxiety, he couldn't help but feel awed that he cared so much to keep their relationship in harmony. It had been easier to keep people an arms length away from him, cold and distant.

Easier, but not better.

Kageyama rolled over and tried to think of something else, but Hinata's pained expression kept coming back to him again and again; his glossy eyes and wrinkled brow, the forced smile. He'd wanted to see more of Hinata's expressions, but not like this. He gripped his pillow tighter.

His life wasn't just volleyball anymore.

It wasn't about being the best, no matter the cost, the destruction.

It wasn't screaming at teammates and locking his heart in a cage.

It wasn't  _empty._

Hinata was the only reason Kageyama had even been able to start feeling that. The reason he could muddle through conversations with people. The reason his teammates stood by him.

Seeing Hinata hurt made him  _hurt._

Kageyama got out of bed. He couldn't lie around and do nothing. He'd already done a million crazy things since meting Hinata, what was one more?

So he bolted into the hallway and started knocking on doors.

* * *

 

God, it was so hard to pretend.

Hinata was sitting in a beanbag in Ryu's room, acting like he needed to blow off a little steam with some video games. Ryu was happy to abandon his homework and chit chat idly about volleyball, but Hinata's smiles were riddled with fractures.

 _I should be happy for him,_ Hinata thought, his heart throbbing in his chest as he navigated a first-person shooter with little grace.

Everything about this really sucked.

Hinata did  _everything_ with Kageyama, and it had only become obvious to him now when he was avoiding his roommate. They woke up together, ate together, practiced together, and went back to their room together.

They'd even slept together, in some sense of the word. Hinata's grip on the controller tightened and suddenly his character went down, taking a bullet to the head.  _Why did he feel so torn up about this?_

"Man, you suck Hinata," Ryu laughed. When the boy didn't respond, Ryu turned off the console.

"Okay shrimp. What the hell is going on. You're not acting like yourself."

Hinata looked guiltily at his friend.

"Kageyama and I are in a fight," Hinata managed to say, the  _only_ thing he could say that would make sense to someone else. In reality, he didn't know what he was feeling.

Sad. Hurt. Confused.

Ryu scoffed. "I didn't think you guys ever  _stopped_ fighting."

Hinata rolled his eyes sheepishly. "It's not like that this time. I'm… avoiding him."

"Why?" Ryu asked. "Just talk to him. Avoiding never did anyone any good."

Hinata smiled weakly. Usually he wouldn't need such advice. But this time, he didn't really have a good reason to be hurt. He just was.

"Well what happened?" Ryu asked, crossing his arms and giving Hinata an intense stare. "You guys should figure stuff out before vacation starts so the team doesn't get in a weird rhythm."

Hinata paused. Ryu was right.

"Kageyama talked to Noya about something today after practice that he hasn't told me."

Ryu waited. When Hinata didn't fill the silence, he threw his hands up.

"That's it?"

"W—Well, he just met Noya, so it's—"

"Are you guys dating or something?"

Hinata went red. " _No!_ "

"Then what are you jealous for?"

Hinata froze.  _Jealous? Is that what this was?_

It felt more intense than that. He wanted to comfort Kageyama. He wanted to listen to his struggles, take away the pain. He wanted be the first person Kageyama went to, to hold him when he cried, wake up with him in the morning…

Hinata's face flushed and he put his hands in his hair.

"Dude. You  _like_ him!" Ryu giggled and clapped him on the back. "This is hilarious. You fell in love with your roommate!"

Ryu was laughing hysterically and Hinata shoved his arm away. Ryu didn't seem ruffled about it, but he wouldn't stop teasing, either.

"It's not  _love,_ you're completely misreading the situation!" He was yelling without realizing it, absolutely red.

There was a loud knock on the door.

Hinata squeaked and tried to gain composure as Ryu answered it.

It was Kageyama.

"What's up?" Ryu asked, but Kageyama had already locked on to his target.

"You," he said, pointing to Hinata, "I need to talk to you."

Hinata didn't know how to look or react. Kageyama looked like he usually did when Hinata missed a ball.

"I don't really…" Hinata's eyes slipped away, his voice leaving him.

Before anything else could be said, Kageyama sauntered over to the boy and grabbed him around the waist, throwing him over one shoulder.

"Kageyama, what the hell!?" Hinata yelled, pounding at the boy's back.

Ryu was looking plenty amused, far too delighted with watching to intervene.

"I'm taking this idiot with me, if you don't mind," Kageyama said as he walked through the door with a kicking Hinata still over his shoulder.

"Okay, have fun!" Ryu grinned.

"You're heavier than you look," Kageyama said as he walked down the hallway and up a flight of stairs. Hinata had stopped struggling, but was afraid for the worst.

 _He's mad,_ Hinata worried, biting his lip. _He must think I'm being so weird!_

Even at a time like this, Hinata's frantic brain picked up on the warmth and strength of Kageyama's arms; how he'd been able to pick Hinata up and hold him like it was nothing. His back still smelled of sweat from practice, but his shirt also held the faint scent of his laundry detergent, the scent of the bed Hinata had woken up in on too many occasions.

Hinata heard a door open. When Kageyama put him down, he realized they were in their room. Was it his imagination, or did Kageyama's arms linger around him a heartbeat too long?

Kageyama went to close the door; stayed facing away from the boy he'd kidnapped.

"I'm sorry," he said, speaking into the door. His palms were flat on the wood, his head hanging.

Hinata ran a nervous hand though his hair. "Er, I guess if you needed to talk to me, there were other ways—"

"No, I mean about this afternoon, with Noya. I'm sorry."

Hinata's breath flew out of him. He began to fidget, wanting to see what Kageyama's face looked like. He sounded angry, but he was apologizing. Stabbing in the dark, most likely, for the cause of Hinata's behavior.

"It's okay, I'm glad you talked about it with someone."

Kageyama whirled around.

" _There._ Right there," he said angrily, wearing a deeply troubled expression. "Stop making that face and saying you're just fine."

"Why are you getting angry at me?" Hinata raised his voice. "It's the truth."

Kageyama gripped his hair in a fist. "What I'm trying to say is, you read that conversation wrong, and it's my fault." Kageyama had to grit the words out of his teeth. He was not the king of apologies.

"There wasn't anything to 'read wrong.' You were talking to Noya. I get it. I'm glad."

Hinata wanted to sound angrier, but he was genuinely concerned that Kageyama was going to rip his own hair out.

Kageyama made a frustrated noise and flopped down on his bed. He rubbed his face and then sat up, meeting Hinata's expectant gaze.

"I wasn't talking about my dreams," he said finally. "I lied. And I know it was a shitty thing to do because you're… my friend and have helped me with them more than anyone. So. I'm sorry. That's the last time I'm gonna say it."

Kageyama's hands were on his knees, his head cast down as he sat on the bed, waiting. The silence was getting to be unbearable.

"I guess that kinda sucked," Hinata finally admitted, sitting down beside him. "It felt like you didn't trust me."

"I suck at people," Kageyama conceded, sounding frustrated with himself.

"I didn't know you were capable of apologizing, let alone noticing I was upset about something."

"Shut  _up_ dumbass," Kageyama said, pushing the side of Hinata's head playfully. "You're pretty easy to read sometimes."

Kageyama's cheeks were red, but he looked calm.  _Shy,_ almost, unwilling to meet Hinata's eyes. Hinata wanted to touch his face in its vulnerable state, claim it as his own and share it with no one else.  _I like him,_ Hinata thought helplessly.  _He's an idiot, but he said exactly what I wanted to hear._

Yet in the sweetness was a nagging doubt.

"What did you guys talk about then?" Hinata asked softly. The words were in the air before he realized the answer might hurt him even more than the first one did.

Kageyama tugged on his bangs. "I, um, asked how he knew he was… y'know. Gay."

Hinata's eyebrows shot up. His mouth hung open. His body relaxed so much that his knee fell into Kageyama's.

"That's it?"

Kageyama spluttered. "It was a big deal to me!"

"But you already told me you could see yourself dating a guy." Hinata was getting too close for comfort—the warmth his knee supplied against Kageyama's was taking up a large part of his brain.

"I panicked, okay?" Kageyama hissed.

"What happened to the cool, arrogant Kageyama I know?" Hinata teased. "You really aren't yourself today."

Hinata beamed, his orange hair catching the room's light and illuminating his head like a halo. They were close enough that even frustration and teasing had a soft, quiet edge. Caught up in it, Kageyama felt himself smiling back with the smallest of smiles, his heart lifting. Hinata nearly choked.

"Please warn me before you smile," Hinata joked. His cheeks felt warm

A frown returned as quickly as it had left, but Kageyama couldn't take back the print it had left in Hinata's mind.

"My mom…" Kageyama said slowly, like he was trying out new words, "if I start talking about her, I'll cry." Kageyama, inspired by a smile, tugged on a dangerous thread.

Hinata turned to face his roommate more fully, his knee still pressed against Kageyama's. The air in the room had changed with Kageyama's brave, breathless jump.

"It's okay to cry," Hinata said firmly. His eyes held conviction, like he was saying an oath. Kageyama took a deep, shaky breath.

"My mom committed suicide," he said smoothly.

Hinata's breath hitched, his heart squeezed. He had nothing to say because there was nothing anyone could say to that. Sorry? To say sorry would only be insulting. Sorry was not strong enough to describe the heavy sadness in Hinata's chest. So he listened.

Kageyama's brows knit together and he felt his eyes swim, felt his throat close. He felt embarrassed and awkward, heat crawling up his neck, but he felt like he owed it to both Hinata and to himself to release the words that had been caging him for so long.

He could only push the words out with a sob. "I watched it happen. She didn't know. I couldn't do anything."

Kageyama's chest heaved and he was blinded by years' worth of tears pouring out of him.

But Hinata was there. The warmth of his arms wrapped around his friend and Kageyama had something to cling to, to ride out the waves of his grief and sorrow.

"I've never told anyone," he sobbed again, his voice all gravel and anguish. It was so ugly and pained, but necessary to cry. Now that this piece of himself was in the light, he couldn't remember how he'd kept it in for so long. He clung to Hinata because part of him didn't want anyone to see this face of his, childish and cracked. He clutched the shirt of the boy was comforting him.

_It's okay to cry._

Kageyama cried for the father who left, who never had the decency to tell him these words. For a family that had left him broken and confused, hiding bits and pieces in a sport that he used to numb himself.

He felt Hinata whispering something into his ear, breath warm and sweet, and arms still tight around his neck. Kageyama tried to steady his breathing, to gain composure.

"It's not your fault," Hinata was whispering. "It's not your fault."

Kageyama could not will the tears away. Hinata's words felt like a brand against his skin, words he'd needed to hear for so long that he'd developed an aversion to them.

Trying to reel the sobs only made them sound worse, so he let them out. She shook and trembled, listening to Hinata's words, a comfortable hum to cling to as his body rocked with spasms.

Hinata said them over and over again, ten times, a thousand. They could have been sitting there on the bed in a dark dorm room for years. But Hinata did not leave. Hinata held on.

* * *

 

Kageyama fell asleep first that night, tired from crying.

After his crying subsided, he released his embrace with Hinata and wiped his eyes sheepishly. He mumbled something about a shower and escaped the mortification of having showed his brittle weakness. Hinata threw a fair share of concerned glances his friend's way, but they went ignored. Kageyama knew that the tenderness would simply burn him in his emotional state.

So he took a shower. He didn't think about anything. He cranked the heat and wasted away under the jets and steam.

When he left the bathroom, Hinata was in his bunk, playing a videogame. Or pretending to play, for Kageyama's sake (for which he was eternally grateful). He crashed into his bed and let his tired eyes flutter closed. Instead of thinking of his mother, he tried to think of the Karasuno volleyball team and the color orange.

It didn't take long for him to fall asleep. When Hinata heard the telltale sign of steady breathing, he climbed down from his perch. He was riddled with emotions and just wanted to see Kageyama's face, hopefully peaceful. Just to make sure he was okay.

Kageyama's eyes were swollen, his fair hair swept away from his pale forehead. Hinata couldn't bear to think about the terribleness of such a revelation—Kageyama must have been a child when it happened. He didn't want to know the details of it. Not right now.

He wanted to leave something happier for Kageyama by being here, by being his roommate. Not even in a romantic way (though that would be nice). Inspired by this idea of happiness, Hinata leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss to his roommate's forehead. He pretended that it transferred a small current of happiness to his friend and took away all bad dreams.

 _I feel like a pervert,_ Hinata thought guiltily as the rash and embarrassing gesture caught up to him when he climbed into bed.

He dreamed of happy things nonetheless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry for making these little birbs Suffer™ so much. They will be happy soon, I promise.


	16. Chapter 16

The following week was endless preparations for a long awaited vacation. Or in Hinata's case, waiting to the last minute to pack and hoping for the best. His desk was still a mess of papers, books, and letters from his sister, laundry piled high on the chair he was supposed to be studying in. He'd long since opted to take his laptop and books to bed.

Kageyama distanced himself from Hinata for a few days, but Hinata waited patiently for their relationship to return to normal.

It was clear Kageyama was embarrassed.

Yelling at Hinata in practice helped. A lot. In fact, Kageyama was doing it right now. It was an old rhythm that Kageyama was familiar with, so he hoped that Hinata would forgive him and gave him all hell at practice to offset how vulnerable he'd been days before. Hinata's familiar outrage and protest were calming.

Kageyama still jumped when Hinata got too close, and he let silence fill the air when they were alone in their room, unsure of what to say. His entire being felt like a fresh burn that was still healing, sensitive skin reacting to anything Hinata-related.

Kageyama was tossing to Hinata right now, his mind entirely on the boy's movements and the shape of his frame, lithe and graceful. It was convenient to have an excuse to be so attentive to the boy, but Noya and Ryu were a pain in the ass, sharing knowing glances and mutual snickers.

Kageyama couldn't stop thinking about The Hug™, different from anything he had ever encountered with another human being. Different from waking up with Hinata in his bed, from taking a sudden tumble in the shower by accident.

He had been raw and open, and Hinata had seen it.

He didn't feel happy about it, exactly, but the feelings went beyond embarrassment.

Kageyama was…

Still thinking about his shaking shoulders, held steady by warm arms. The smell of the crook of Hinata's neck. His words, so intimate and close that Kageyama's blood spiked at the thought of them, the thought of Hinata's small pink lips at his ear.

Kageyama, who was serving, hit the ball to the other side of the court with such force that is soared out of bounds, his face red and ugly with embarrassment.

Kageyama was  _out of control._

His body was taking everything about Hinata's comfort out of context, thinking of heat and closeness and dumb, gay things.

_To think that I may possibly potentially like that dumb, stupid—_

Asahi spiked the volleyball into Kageyama's daydreaming face.

"Kageyama, are you okay?!" Hinata asked, running to the setter. Kageyama had a nosebleed, and Asahi looked mortified, stuttering apology after apology with a pale face.

Hinata touched Kagyama's arm and he pulled away violently, holding his nose.

"I'm  _fine,_ " he seethed, tilting his head up and heading for the locker room. "It was my fault. I'm gonna get some ice."

"He's been acting weird lately," Daichi mused, watching his retreating figure. "Hinata, you know anything about it?"

Hinata shook his head from side to side just as Ryu and Noya said "yes" in unison.

Hinata whirled around to glare at the upperclassmen. Daichi sighed, throwing his hands up.

In the locker room, Kageyama was nursing his nose and glaring at the ceiling.

Crying in front of Hinata had caused him to confront a deeply disturbing truth.

_I like him._

Kageyama blushed and thought it again.

_I like him._

Admitting it didn't mean he had to do anything about it.

It  _did_ mean he was an idiot.

_I guess it's true what they say—you can't help who you fall for._

Kageyama's nosebleed had stopped. He threw away the bag of ice and got to his feet.

Starting tomorrow, he would be heading for Hinata's house. To meet his family. To spend a week in his room.

 _I like him,_ he thought again.  _But I don't have to do jack shit about it._

* * *

Hinata's mom was picking them up in ten minutes and he didn't have a clean shirt to wear.

"Maybe if you'd done at least one load of laundry since being here," Kageyama said flippantly. Hinata had about three times more laundry to bring home than he did. No, it was definitely four. Kageyama was starting to worry about whether or not they'd all fit in the car.

"Oh shut up. I've been busy." Hinata was topless and rooting through a duffle bag, smelling his clothes and wrinkling his nose. Kageyama couldn't stop looking at the nape of his neck. Or his spine. Or those  _hips,_ peaking from beneath the elastic of Hinata's shorts _._ Which were  _uncharacteristically_ short—he was really scraping the bottom of the barrel of his wardrobe. They looked like cross-country running shorts and they were making Kageyama practically hemorrhage. As if the hem weren't short enough, there were small slits in the side that flared open with Hinata's every movement. They left little to the imagination as Hinata bent over and rooted through dirty laundry.

"We have the same exact schedule, and I don't have as much laundry as you," Kageyama pointed out, clearing his throat and looking away from his roommate.

Hinata ignored him. "How does this smell?" he asked, holding out a shirt expectantly.

Kageyama looked disgusted. "I can smell it from here, thanks."

Hinata grimaced and threw it back in the bag. His eye caught a piece of fabric dangling from his bunk and he snatched for it, every muscle in his back flexing. Kageyama had to look away when the shorts rode up, letting Hinata's small butt peak out.

 _Those aren't even shorts!_ He fumed, turning back to his roommate when Hinata made a safe and unattractive gagging sound after sniffing.

"We're gonna be late," Kageyama said, his eyes sweeping over the plane of Hinata's freckled chest. "Just wear something of mine."

He was across the room in two strides, puling a navy long-sleeved shirt from his dresser and throwing it aggressively at Hinata, who caught it with his face.

Hinata held it up with his eyes wide. "It's huge," he marveled.

"Just put it  _on,_ idiot! It's a shirt, for fucks sake. If you did  _laundry,_ this wouldn't be an issue!" Kageyama just wanted Hinata to cover up. His eyes kept drifting to the freckles and shoulder blades and wiry muscles of his roommate, startlingly prominent as he moved around the room. Those  _shorts_  were bad enough as it was.

There was a knock on the door.

Hinata pulled the shirt on quickly and ran to answer it. The shirt did its job—it covered the shorts  _and_ some additional thigh completely. Hinata looked like a ten-year-old. Kageyama sucked in a laugh and straightened up, waiting expectantly.

A woman with brown hair greeted Hinata with a hug. She looked only briefly at Hinata's outfit with confusion, then she faced Kageyama with a warm, disarming smile.

"My name is Nanami," she said in a sweet voice, crossing the room and holding out her hand.

Kageyama felt relieved that she wasn't the touchy type. He still couldn't get the hug with Hinata out of his mind; he didn't know what he'd do if he was given another one to contemplate.

He took her hand. "I'm Kageyama," he said, trying to sound more confident than he felt.

"I've heard a lot about you," she said sweetly. "You've motivated Shoyo quite a lot this season."

"Mom,  _stahp_ ," Hinata whined, pulling at her shirt. "Let's load everything up and  _then_ we can talk about Kageyama's methods of torturing me."

Kageyama snorted, throwing his backpack over his shoulders and grabbing his duffle bag. He pulled a laundry basket into his arms and nodded, signaling he was ready.

"Shoyo, is this all your dirty laundry?" his mother asked, looking at the two trash bags about to burst and laundry basket with several sedimentary layers. Her smile was stretched thin.

Hinata gulped. "I've been busy!"

"Mmmm," she hummed, grabbing two of the trash bags so they wouldn't have to make a second trip to the elevator. She had to drag them across the floor. "I'm sure you were." Her eyes were on Kageyama's one and only lump of laundry, sharp and observant.

On the way down to the first floor, Hinata's mom asked Kageyama what position he played, what his favorite subject was, and other basic questions. He was growing comfortable around the woman, seeing that Nanami wasn't oblivious to the fact that Hinata could be an idiot, which meant he in turn could acknowledge that Hinata was an idiot in front of her.

And yet, she sometimes gave her son a look of love and tenderness so fierce that it made Kageyama's throat tingle.

 _This might be hard,_ Kageyama thought. As if realizing romantic feelings for his roommate wasn't hard enough to deal with.

Hinata's mom drove a Subaru, and she'd clearly cleaned out the back just in case.

Mother's intuition. Hinata's laundry monstrosity had plenty of room.

"Natsu is still at school, but she should be home shortly after we get back," Nanami said as she turned the key in the ignition. There was an Indigo Girls CD playing in the stereo.

Kageyama sat in the back of the car, expecting Hinata to take the front with his mom.

But  _no._

Hinata had to climb out back with him, sitting in the middle seat and disregarding all personal space. He whipped out his DS and began playing a game with intense concentration.

Kageyama's shirt dwarfed Hinata's frame, billowing out at the elbows where Hinata pushed up the sleeves. It hung loose around his neck, showing off his delicate collarbones.

"You wanna watch?" Hinata asked, noticing Kageyama's eyes on him and scooting closer. Their legs were flush and Kageyama colored at the touch.

"This game looks dumb," he said after observing for a few moments, his body reluctantly relaxing into their proximity. Their shoulders were pressed together, and Kageyama was close enough to touch his lips to Hinata's head.

"It's called Animal Crossing," Hinata explained. "You get to be a mayor of this town, and the residents are animals."

"What do you do?" Kageyama asked, his eyes drifting across Hinata's fingertips. His nails were pink ovals, the joints of his small fingers quite prominent.

"Oh, well you can catch bugs and fish for money, buy furniture for your house, pay rent…"

"That sounds awful," Kageyama said, his voice low in Hinata's ear.

"Oh, and you can collect fossils," Hinata squeaked, ignoring the way Kageyama's voice raised his body temperature by ten degrees. It was softer than usual.

Kageyama leaned into the window and closed his eyes. Hinata followed his shoulder unconsciously and pulled his legs up onto the seat, his head resting on Kageyama's arm.

 _Don't act weird in front of your mom!_ Kageyama wanted to hiss. Instead he kept his eyes closed and pretended to sleep.  _It's normal for Hinata to be touchy,_ he thought.  _Completely normal._ Kageyama thought about all the times Hinata had leaned into one of his friends in class to watch them complete a problem or fight a final boss on their console.

 _Well that's uncomfortable_. The thought that was supposed to relieve him turned to immediate irritation. The more he dwelled on it, the more he realized that Hinata was the touchiest person he knew.

He put it out of his mind, focusing only on the sound of the guitar filling the car and the pressure of Hinata's cheek on his arm.

Every few minutes, a watchful gaze would peer at Hinata's figure from the driver's seat, curled against his ultimate rival.

* * *

Hinata lived in a small, two-bedroom house on the outskirts of a rural town, surrounded by woods and fields, yet within walking distance of a run-down park with a volleyball court.

The house itself had bright paint and old shingles, window boxes full of flowers, and toys littering the yard that spoke of the children who lived there. A tricycle for Natsu; a faded volleyball for her brother. Kageyama was surprised at how interested he was in learning about Hinata's home life.

He didn't have a house that painted a picture of his childhood like this.

 _What an ugly painting that would be,_ he thought, the sight of toys and a well-used porch making him think of unnecessary things.

"Please make yourself right at home, Kageyama," Hinata's mom said as she held the door open for both of them. "Shoyo, please start the laundry  _immediately._ " She had a smile on her face, but her tone was short. "After giving your friend a tour, of course."

She tried to take the laundry basket from Kageyama in the entryway, but he shook his head. "I can do it…" he mumbled. Nanami tugged it out of his hands anyway.

"Don't be silly," she said. "You are our guest. Besides, a  _little_ laundry like this is nothing." She eyed her son wryly. "I'm going to prep dinner. You might have to play with your sister later, so don't get sucked into those videogames!"

"Yeah, yeah," Hinata agreed. His mom turned to the right from the door and entered a small kitchen. The dining room table was set for four under a modest light fixture across from the front door, and the living room was to the left. A sliding door on the other side of the open space revealed a tiny, fenced-in garden.

"C'mon, I'll show you where to put your stuff." Hinata walked through the living room and into a hallway with four doors.

"This is my room," he said, leading Kageyama to the furthest door in the hall to the right. "You can put your stuff in here."

Kageyama entered and found himself visually assaulted by volleyball memorabilia. The twin bed tucked into the corner was surrounded on all sides by posters of key players. It was clear that the little giant was Hinata's favorite—he had a corkboard filled with articles, and at least two pictures of the player on every wall.

Besides that, there was only a desk, a dresser, and what was probably a closet.

"Like my posters?" Hinata grinned.

"Overbearing," Kageyama said simply. He set his stuff down in the middle of the floor.

"You like it," Hinata teased. "The bathroom his across the hall. We'll get the futon out for you later today."

Kageyama nodded and Hinata went to the bathroom with a basket of laundry, dutifully following his mom's orders.

Kageyama's eyes swept the room once more and his pulse raced.

Hinata's mattress didn't have a bedframe or a box spring. Not only would the futon be a foot from Hinata's bed, it would be the same  _height_. They would almost be face-to-face if they turned towards each other under the wraps of sleep.

Kageyama swallowed, the intimate proximity they'd have in this tiny room for _five days_ already making him nuts. He didn't realize how distancing a bunk bed could be until now.

 _Shut up, brain,_ Kageyama tried to think.  _Nothing is going to happen._

There was the sound of the washing machine whirring, and then Hinata was back, still wearing those sinful shorts and Kageyama's shirt.

"Let's play Overwatch," Hinata suggested, pointing to the living room.

"Never played before," Kageyama said.

"I figured," Hinata grinned. "It's a cool game."

"In the last 'cool game' you were playing, you were paying rent."

Hinata rolled his eyes. "Stop being obtuse. Overwatch is like, legendary cool."

"Why play videogames when you can play volleyball?" Kageyama muttered.

Hinata punched his shoulder and headed for the living room. "Stop being antsy. I have to say hi to my sister, and she really wants to meet you."

Kageyama conceded silently by following his friend.

They were on the couch for about ten minutes before Nastu came home like a whirlwind, rushing through the door with her mother mid-story, prattling brightly about her school day. Hinata paused the game and they headed to the kitchen to say hello. Natsu was shoving a rice ball into her mouth. When her eyes settled on Kageyama, she gave him a look so full of adoration and awe that he felt distinctly uncomfortable.

"Natsu, this is Kageyama," Hinata said.

"Pwince!" she squealed, her mouth full of rice as she danced around the tall boy in the kitchen.

 _Her hair is exactly the same as Hinata's,_ Kageyama thought mindlessly, not sure what to say to the young girl.

"Sho, your roommate's a  _prince!?_ " she looked to her older brother for explanation.

Hinata snorted. "He's about as far from prince-like as you can get," he argued. He held out his arms anyway and Natsu ran for them. Hinata picked the girl off her feet and his arms tightened around her, their hair blending together to create one mass of orange.

Kageyama felt a bit out of place, watching Hinata dote on Natsu, ruffling her hair and kissing her cheek. He couldn't put a finger on the feeling, but his heart was throbbing.

"You're so  _tall,_ " Natsu admired when she and her brother pulled apart. "Can we play prince and princess? And you can call me 'princess Natsu?'"

"Uh, sure," Kageyama said before he could stop himself. He wasn't used to a child seeing his face and not running the other way.

She squealed with delight. "Sho, you can be the jester, and we can all live in a castle!" She was hopping around the living room with excitement, her mannerisms so similar to Hinata's that Kageyama couldn't help but laugh.

Hinata whipped his head toward the sound.

"She's just like you, and she's  _so much younger._ You haven't matured at all." The ghost of the laugh remained on his lips.

Kageyama's face looked so tender and sad that it made Hinata itch to touch his palm to the boy's back in comfort.  _My mother killed herself._ Hinata remembered the words suddenly, painfully. What did family even look like for him?

Kageyama caught the boy staring at him, his eyes several different shades of gold and brown, alive and watchful. Kageyama felt heat crawl up is neck at the forceful gaze. Hinata was staring right into him.

Kageyama broke from the stare when he felt a tug at his pants. Natsu had wrapped her arms around his leg.

"How old are you?" Kageyama found himself asking.

"Six!" Natsu shouted up to him, grinning widely.

Kageyama shook his head, looking back at Hinata, who was still wearing that oddly probing expression on his face. "She's more mature than you are, and she's  _six._ "

Hinata broke from his train of thought to stick his tongue out.

"Not helping your case, dumbass," Kageyama said. The swear flew out of his mouth so naturally that he didn't have time to remember he was in the presence of a young and impressionable girl. His eyes widened and he clapped his hand over his mouth. He turned to look over his shoulder, panicking that Nanami had heard him.

"Relax, Natsu's heard me swear," Hinata laughed.

But Natsu was pouting when Kageyama looked down to her. "Princes shouldn't swear," she whined.

Kageyama nodded in agreement, noticing that she and Hinata shared the same pair of eyes, too.

"Come on, let's get back to Overwatch," Hinata said, padding back to the living room.

Kageyama stood for a moment, waiting, until he realized Natsu wasn't going to let go of his leg voluntarily. He limped over to the couch with his new growth.

"Brother, why are you wearing a dress?" Kageyama heard his leg ask as he sat on the cushions.

Hinata turned a shade of red. He was already settled in and powering the game back on. "It's not a  _dress._ I had to borrow a shirt."

Without warning, Natsu crawled into Kageyama's lap to inspect said shirt, and he let out a strangled little gasp.

She lifted up the hem to reveal Hinata's shorty shorts and all too much of his thighs. Uninterested, she leaned back into Kageyama and watched the beginning cut scene.

Kageyama was unsure of how to proceed with a six-year old in his lap. Hinata handed him the control without notice, and Natsu seemed perfectly happy where she was, swinging her legs and grabbing the controller from Kageyama.

"Help me," Kageyama finally hissed to Hinata. His hands were pressed into the couch and his spine was stiff from straining away.

"Huh?" Hinata looked at Kageyama. To say he looked uncomfortable was an understatement.

"Kid," Kageyama mouthed, motioning to Natsu's fluffy head. He threw his arms up in the air in a charade-type motion. "What do I do?"

Hinata's eyebrows shot up. He put it together. Kageyama had never played with a kid before.

Kageyama was  _flustered._

Hinata covered his mouth but could not contain his laughter, his cheeks expanding with air.

Kageyama gritted his teeth, but that just made Hinata double over, wheezing. "Kageyama, you look like you're gonna puke," he said between laughs.

This caught Natsu's attention, as she was in the potential line of fire.

"Ewww!" she squealed, rolling to the side of the couch and crawling over to her brother. She assumed the same position in his own lap. "Princes don't puke," she said matter-of-factly.

Kageyama breathed a sigh of relief. He grabbed the controller that Natsu had thrown to the ground and settled back into the couch. Sneaking a glance at Hinata, he tried to observe, like studying an animal in its natural habitat. Natsu was leaning back into her brother's chest, and Hinata had his chin resting on her head, his fingers pressing buttons and his arms sort of caging the girl in, her fingers resting on his forearms and her legs swinging happily. They looked… at peace. They weren't doing anything remarkable, and yet they looked like family.

Hinata noticed Kageyama staring and smiled. He pointed at Natsu. "You just have to work around it," he said simply.

They played for a stretch until Nanami called them all in for dinner, a sound that had Hinata and Natsu bolting for the kitchen. Kageyama stood slowly.

It was all so surreal. Last year, his own teammates disliked him. He didn't have a single friend, couldn't go home to a homemade meal and expect a family gather around the table. He didn't play videogames or know how to just  _be_ around people without the context of volleyball to comfort him.

How was he going to survive five days of this nurturing atmosphere?

He scratched his head and took a moment to breathe, to try and muster some sort of guard before heading for the kitchen.

At the table, he let Hinata's family do all the talking. Hinata was  _exceptionally_ good at it, and Kageyama found it easier to observe and eat than to worry about whether or not he should say something.

Until Hinata started talking about volleyball.

He was explaining the stories from school all wrong, painting an overwhelmingly good picture of himself. Kageyama couldn't help smirking.

"You weren't that good when you served a ball into the back of my head."

Hinata went crimson. "Accidents happen," he fired back. "Like when  _you_ kept saying I was a shit player. Bet you take that back now."

"Marginally."

"Shoyo,  _language,_ " his mother urged, but she was smiling.

Kageyama would have felt guilty for being mean, except this was his rhythm that he liked participating in. Nanami and Natsu were giggling, fueling their fire. They threw short retorts and one-liners at each other in a game of insult ping-pong until Hinata's mom told him to add another load to the laundry.

"I can help with dishes," Kageyama supplied, left shaken again when Hinata abandoned him with this kind woman whom he didn't know.

"That would be wonderful," she smiled.

"I'll help! I'll help!" Natsu chirped, tugging on Kageyama's pants.

Kageyama brought the plates to the sink and rolled his sleeves up, pouring soap over the sponge and getting to work.

"Your family taught you excellent manners," Nanami comment, bringing him the pans from the stove. Natsu tugged on his pants again.

"Kage, I'll dry!" she demanded. His eyes widened at the nickname, but he obliged the child.

"So what do your parents do?"

Nanami was washing the counters, making mild conversation that headed for Kageyama like a fastball.

"My foster father doesn't do anything," he said smoothly. "My foster mother is a nurse." He kept his eyes on the dishes and didn't let his hands pause in their work. He just repeated things about his family as generally as he could until he was in the clear and could breathe again.

Natsu didn't miss a beat. "What's 'foster' mean?"

Kageyama scraped a piece of food from a plate with his nail. "It means they're not my real parents. They're just taking care of me until I'm old enough to live on my own."

Natsu was drying a plate bigger than her head, her eyes in a frown. "So you don't have any brothers or sisters?"

Kageyama gave a dry smile. "I usually have five or six," he said. Natsu's eyes widened.

"That's so many! Do you get to play with them all the time?"

Kageyama smiled with empty eyes. "Yeah, sure."

Nanami perceptively changed the subject. "Natsu, why don't you go make sure your brother did his laundry?"

Natsu made a childish salute before she blew out of the kitchen like a storm.

"Thank you for the dishes, Kageyama. I can finish." Nanami moved to take his place at the sink, sounding genuine. When she came close, she smoothed her hand over his shoulder. "I'm glad you're here," she smiled, "and you're always welcome."

Kageyama nodded. His shoulder burned.

He drew away from her touch and left the kitchen without a word.

Hinata was coming out of the bathroom with a basket of clean laundry on his hip, still dwarfed in Kageyama's navy shirt, collarbone peeking through and slim legs catching the glow of the light in the hall. He padded into his bedroom with bare feet, orange hair bouncing slightly as he went.

Kageyama clutched at his shirt nervously.  _Everyone here is too nice and soft and…_

He shook his head. He didn't allow himself to think and followed Hinata to the bedroom.

Hinata had set the futon out and was folding his clothes into only slightly less messy shapes on his bed. Kageyama pulled his stuff off the bed and flopped down onto it, sighing into the spare pillow.

Hinata folded his clothes and Kageyama pulled out a magazine. Kageyama was feeling more like himself now that they'd assumed the semi-silence that always occupied their room at Karasuno.

After Hinata was done the laundry, he settled into his bed and pulled out his DS. Nanami stuck her head in the door.

"You boys need anything?"

"Nah," Hinata said. She nodded quickly.

"Alright, good night."

It felt weird to Hinata, having Kageyama in his room, his eyes slowly closing as the night began to swallow them. It wasn't a bad feeling, but distinctly hair-raising, like Hinata couldn't sit still with his crush in his stomach.

Despite Hinata's weird complex about worlds colliding and all that, they went to bed the same way they always did at school, with little words or emotion.

Hinata felt lewd, having gone to bed in Kageyama's shirt definitely on purpose. The boy was sleeping soundly a foot from him, breathing steadily, and Hinata watched his figure slip into shadow as the sun sunk over the horizon. Hinata snuggled deeper into his comforter and pulled the collar of the shirt to his nose, knowing that by morning he'd have to give up the smell and pretend all over again that he wasn't falling for his friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked! Kinda rushed, but I'm eager to get this fic d.o.n.e. It's a lot of fun to write.
> 
> Hinata's shorty shorts loosely based off of this pic: http://naysins.tumblr.com/post/150043059769/hinata-in-the-shortest-shorts-that-ever-short
> 
> ;)


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies in advance for what is a train wreck of a chapter.

"GERONIMOOO!"

Like the blare of an alarm clock, Kageyama barely had time to register the hair-raising sound before being pummeled by daylight, and, in this rare case, a small red-headed girl.

If his back wasn't permanently broken, then it would probably bruise. Natsu had landed right on his tailbone.

"Wake UP sleepyheads!" She shook Kageyama's shoulders and then bounded for her brother, who made a sound like he was in pain before shoving his sister to the floor.

"It is my vacation, you  _animal,_ " he hissed, his voice raspy with sleep. Kageyama groaned and rolled over, only to get the wind knocked out of him by the child jumping onto his stomach. No amount of abs can prepare you for an attack of tiny elbows.

These were how the days were threading together. Breakfasts cooked by a light hand and warm smile, being ushered into a bright kitchen by a tiny windstorm with no sense of personal space, trapped in this lazy, Sunday-morning daze, day after day after day, and watching Hinata in his natural habitat, hoping that this was the way Kageyama could see him until the end of time, all fluffy bedhead and pecks on the cheeks for his family, then smiling up at his friend with the force of a comet.

The only time Kageyama could feel slightly more normal was when he and Hinata ran to the nearby park and played volleyball. They turned back into teammates, and Kageyama knew how to act, and settled into his normal self.

The rest of the time, his nerves were on fire, trying to build walls against this kindness that were simply breaking over and over again.

Hinata groaned and sat up. His hair gave him the profound look of a human cockatoo. He was still wearing Kageyama's shirt, using it as a nightshirt for no seemingly explicable reason other than he was oblivious to any and all boundaries.

Natsu was laying across Kageyama's stomach, flailing her legs.

"Paaaaancakes!" she yelled. "Come eat!"

Kageyama sat up, with difficulty, and ruffled her hair to make her legs still. In his daily observations, he'd studied what kind of touches were safe with Natsu (not that Natsu wouldn't bite his head off if he did something she didn't like). He got to his feet and stretched, his shoulders snapping like a fire eats a nice big log. Hinata made another disgusted, primal noise before throwing off the blankets and getting to his feet as well.

"Kage, Kage, let's play piggy!" Natsu almost sang. Like a robot, Kageyama squatted down so the little tyrant could hop on his back. The Hinata's were so forceful in their invasion of body space that he'd learned to surrender to certain things for the sake of simplicity.

"So tall!" she squealed, and Hinata rubbed his eyes and smiled at the back turned to him. His sister looked a bit like a turtle shell, and seeing Kageyama do so well with her in such a short amount of time made him beam. It was a Kageyama only he knew about, his own, soft secret.

"You coming?" Kageyama huffed, his voice still deep from sleep. He'd turned to face Hinata, Natsu's face craning above his head like a rodent peeking out of its hole. He looked expectant, holding Natsu so naturally that Hinata's heart gave one of its incessant little tugs.

"Yes, yes I'm coming you demon. You know you don't have to get up when she asks you to, right?"

"She's kinda hard to ignore," Kageyama muttered, padding down the hall.

The pancakes were worth their trouble, so Hinata wasn't complaining too long.

"My, you boys were hungry!" Nanami mused as she picked up the dirty plates. Kageyama migrated to the sink to help with dishes, his body uncomfortable and swollen from the amount of fluffy breakfast he'd just consumed, and Hinata helped dry.

"Thank you," Kageyama said as he wiped a plate clean.

"For what?" Hinata asked.

"Not for  _you,_ " he growled. "Your mom made breakfast!" He flicked his wet hand at Hinata and suds flew into his face.

Nanami giggled, but Hinata was less amused.

"She  _always_ makes breakfast. That doesn't mean you have to give me a bath."

"You were being an idiot." Kageyama went back to doing dishes.

Nanami still had a smile on her face, but it had turned secretive somehow.

Hinata wiped his face and ran a hand through his hair, the water making it stick up at his forehead in a peak. It caught Kageyama's attention, the gold of his eyes free of wild curls, the  _kissable_ plain of his forehead.

Hell,  _everything_ Hinata did caught Kageyama's attention.

"He didn't have to do jack shit about his feelings?" Isn't that what he'd determined before this excursion?

At every turn he had to physically hold  _back_ from  _not_  doing anything about them. It didn't help that Hinata was completely oblivious to his own, idiotic charm.

Intrusive gay thoughts aside, Kageyama didn't want to leave this warm bubble and go back to school. With one taste of a real family, he was hooked. Pining, desperate to stay.

Their days were filled with the best of nothingness.

He and Hinata sat on cushions in the living room and played videogames for what felt like the millionth time.

"I'm gonna kick your ass," Hinata muttered, selecting Mario Kart and mashing buttons even though the game hadn't even loaded yet.

"In your dreams."

Natsu came into the room, rubbing her eyes. "Sleepy," she whined.

"Maybe you shouldn't have woken us up at the crack of dawn," Hinata spat. She ignored him and tugged a blanket from the couch, falling between them and laying her head in Kageyama's lap. He didn't even flinch. Hinata watched as the boy ruffled her hair instead and fixed the blanket so it covered her bare feet. She yawned and gripped his thigh, curling into a ball. Then Hinata's world fell into starlit chaos, because Kageyama chose at that moment to give Natsu the sweetest smile Hinata had ever seen. His heart leapt to his throat. Tears, irrational, sudden, and completely unwarranted, pricked his eyes at the picture before him.

Kageyama, surrounded in light, being loving in the early morning. It was a sudden moment, an epiphany, stronger than Hinata had ever felt before.

 _I want him,_ he thought, frustrated, helpless.

The sweetness, the rough, fumbling kindness. The yelling, even. The dumb, angry-looking face. All of it.

Everything Hinata felt for Kageyama was a dangerous, ticking time bomb. It was only a matter of time.

* * *

 

When Kageyama had his first nightmare at Hinata's house, Hinata didn't think about his mom, his sister, himself.

He crawled over to Kageyama's futon and slid under the covers, placing his head on the heaving chest and murmuring soothing words, easing the whimpers with the embrace of his arms and tangle of legs. Kageyama shuddered and pulled the boy closer, welcoming him.

They didn't notice the bedroom door creak open, and then shut, or the fact that Natsu let them sleep in the next morning for the first time since they'd gotten there. They didn't notice Nanami smiling more than usual the next day.

* * *

 

"Alright boys, I should be back around nine, so behave yourselves while I'm gone."

Natsu was in a tutu and peacoat, and Nanami was pulling her own coat onto her shoulders.

Natsu had dance class, but the studio was long enough a drive away that Nanami just stayed until the lesson was over. Hinata and Kageyama had the place to themselves for the first time in a long while.

They hadn't talked about the nightmare, or the awkwardness of waking up in the same futon this morning, bleary-eyed and wrapped together under a beam of sunlight, each not wanting to move. Natsu and Nanami hadn't really given them time to breathe since then.

The air had definitely changed between them.

When the door shut with finality, the awkward air only strengthened.

What had been different about this time?

"Mario Kart?" Hinata suggested, trying not to let the overwhelming tension in the air reach his voice.

"Sure," Kageyama grunted. He was already on the couch, sipping the cocoa that Nanami had made for them before she left. There were little marshmallows bouncing around his lips as he drank.

"Fuck. Hot," he spat, coughing.

Hinata was at the T.V, putting the disc in. "Idiot," he muttered.

Kageyama glared in his general direction, but said nothing.

Hinata flopped onto the couch as the game booted up, swinging his legs up and pressing his feet into Kageyama's thigh.

"I can't believe we only have two days left of vacation!" he whined, mashing buttons again for no apparent reason.

Kageyama felt his chest flood with dread.

Would he be able to come back here again? Would this be the last time? Would he be able to survive the rest of the year living with Hinata without exploding? How would he be able to go back to his foster family after knowing what this felt like?

He wanted the lazy days to last forever.

Waking up with Hinata pressed into him, utterly warm and content, had opened an entirely new can of worms for Kageyama, more pressing than a sexuality crisis or surprise boners or liking his roommate.

Like him?

_Like him?_

Kageyama looked at Hinata, really looked at him, and let the feeling of the boy's simple movements, familiar facial features, and constant reassurance, wash over him. Orange hair, piercing eyes. Eyes that held Kageyama with high esteem and tenderness that pained him. Without doubt, without denial, there was Hinata, Hinata, in his heart. The smiling eyes. The hugs, without hesitation.

 _Like_ him? Just  _like_ him?

Kageyama felt a lump in his throat. He felt his breath coming shorter, his chest tighten. The air felt too warm. He couldn't breathe; his mind was going blank. He set his cocoa down and it spilled onto the coffee table, leaving a sloppy ring.

Hinata turned to the boy, turned away, did a double take. "Kageyama, what's wrong?" Hinata asked, his hands ceasing their movement on the game controller.

Kageyama tried to take a breath and it sounded sharp. He used a shaking hand to push himself off the couch and he stumbled forward, kicking one of Natsu's toys a few feet from him. The tension between them was cloying, suffocating. But it was more than that, too. So much more.

"Kageyama?" the panic was in Hinata's voice now. He was on his feet, reaching for Kageyama, putting his hand to his trembling back.

It was unbearable. Not being able to have this. The family. The touches and warm smiles. Not being able to have Hinata.

How would he be able to stand it? Living with the boy he was in love with? Missing a family that would never be his?

Kageyama stumbled for the door, he breathing coming in gasps now, loud and desperate.

"Kageyama?  _Kageyama._ "

Kageyama slipped on his shoes, unable to pull them over the heels in his need to escape. He stumbled out the door. He ignored Hinata, too kind, to bright for Kageyama to stand. Without warning, the images of blood from his nightmares seared in his mind and he just ran, ran as well as he could with his shoes halfway on, away from Hinata's hand.

 _I can't do this,_ Kageyama thought.

He unconsciously ran to the park. Cold air burned his lungs, and Kageyama couldn't tell if he was panting now or still unable to catch his breath. Cicadas and crickets chirped around him, and Hinata was already at his elbow, panting with him.

"Kageyama," he wheezed. "What is  _wrong._ "

Hinata didn't yell. He didn't swear. He knew to be kind, perceptive. It made Kageyama's gut wrench.

"What's wrong? What's  _wrong?_ " Kageyama drew a shaky breath. "Everything." He clenched his fists, unable to look at Hinata without falling apart.

Words started tumbling out of him without warning. "It's your stupid fucking family!" Kageyama kicked the ground. "It's coming here and playing house when it's not mine, it's  _never_ going to be mine!" Kageyama was yelling, and the tears were coming,  _shit,_ the tears were pouring and were in his throat before he could stop them. He was still breathing hard, still unable to face Hinata, unable to think straight. He clenched his fists in his hair. "And it's  _you,_ " he seethed before he could stop, wiping his eyes angrily. "Pretending you're my friend and that I belong here, acting like I'm a charity case because I don't have anywhere to go—"

"Kageyama."

Hinata's voice was eerily soft. He drew a few steps closer to Kageyama in the park, cloaked by a blanket of stars. He grabbed Kageyama's forearms and turned his head up towards him.

"Look at me."

Kageyama reluctantly turned his gaze towards Hinata's. The amber eyes were moist, but not angry, which made Kageyama feel worse.

"Take a deep breath."

He realized he was still hyperventilating and did as he was told. His lungs felt raw and he drew in a full, shaky breath of cold air.

"You must know," Hinata said gently, "that I don't feel that way at all. My mom doesn't feel that way. Nastsu doesn't feel that way."

Kageyama nodded. He didn't move an inch when Hinata reached up to wipe away his tears. He just let his eyes fall shut, taking another unsteady breath.

"I didn't think I had to say it. But I  _want_ you here."

"Okay," Kageyama whispered, his voice all gravel.

"Then why are you being an idiot?" Hinata asked.

Kageyama's eyes flew open. His lips turned down as tears threatened again. "I fell in love with your family," he whispered. "And it really hurts." Kageyama's voice cracked, but he didn't turn his gaze away. Hinata's amber eyes were filling him up, giving him courage, drawing the pain out of his lungs. "And I'm falling in love with you."

Hinata sucked in a breath. His hands tightened around Kageyama's forearms. There was a long moment of silence between them.

"C-can you say that again?" he asked breathlessly.

Kageyama's face went red. "I said I like you. And it really sucks."

Hinata shook his head, his eyes turned down. "No, say it the way you did before."

"If you know how I said it before, then why do I have to say it again?" Kageyama grumbled.

He'd just confessed, and his heart was beating wildly, but his breathing was normal. His blood felt calm. The world hadn't exploded. Hinata wasn't acting disgusted.

He felt like himself again. Stupid, wise, comforting, surprising, annoying Hinata made him feel like himself again.

Without warning, Hinata was pressing his face into Kageyamas shirt, his hands curling into the front of the fabric.

"I like you too," he said, his voice muffled and shy. "But the way you said it the first time."

Kageyama stopped breathing for a second, wondering if those words had truly come from this plain of reality. Hinata wrapped his arms around Kageyama's torso, warm and real, bringing him to his senses.

They were idiots. The both of them. So stupid.

Kageyama sighed. "If you know how I said it, you can say it yourself," he mumbled. Kageyama brought his hand to Hinata's hair and looked up at the stars, threading through the locks he'd pined for all this time with mind-blowing simplicity, and wondering how it was possible to be so happy because of one person.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Update on my life (aka excuse as to why updates are slow af):  
> I'm a TEACHER now, and have the big-girl job of making sure middle-schoolers get their English shit together. Unfortunately, this comes with the very real problem of reading and grading essays rather than writing fic.  
> I do hope to finish in one or two more chapters and give you guys SOMEWHAT of an ending.  
> Thank you all so much for everything! Wouldn't be here without the readers!


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhhhhhhhhhhh

Hinata let his chest sing with nerves as he closed his hand around Kageyama's. His body was an orchestra—heart drumming, goosebumps sighing as they ripped across his skin, adam's apple bobbing with the beat as he swallowed.

They were walking back to the house. Kageyama let his hand be captured.

Hinata looked at the boy beside him, face red with cold.

Or flushed with embarrassment.

Hinata smiled to himself, squeezed the hand that was his.

It was his, right?

"Kageyama…" Hinata was surprised at how quietly he could talk in the surrounding night. It was as if they were encapsulated in their own, starlight universe.

"What is it?" Kageyama grumbled. There were still shiny trails on his cheeks where his tears had been. He bumped into Hinata with his shoulder, a nudge, a prompt.

Hinata smiled at his shirtfront. He wanted Kageyama to be his. He bit his lip.

"Are you—um—are we…together now?" Hinata asked.

Their slow gate came to a stop.

"I don't know," Kageyama said. He wasn't being mean. He cleared his throat. "I don't know… what that means."

"You like me, though?"

"I thought I'd made that pretty clear, dumbass."

Kageyama was looking away, but their hands remained entwined. Hinata began walking again, thoughtfully.

"I don't really either. Except from movies and stuff, but that's usually between a boy and a girl."

"Would it be that different?"

Kageyama's voice was but an embarrassed whisper.

Hinata flushed. "I don't think so."

"We don't really know a whole lot outside of volleyball," Kageyama sighed. "And even you still need work there."

Hinata turned to protest, but noticed the smile on Kageyama's lips and all breath left his body. He stared so long that he lost his footing and tripped.

"You really are hopeless," Kageyama muttered, pulling the boy up with their joined hands.

"I was just thinking that it isn't very romantic to insult someone you want to date."

"I don't think I can date you if it means I can't insult you."

Hinata gasped dramatically and Kageyama was laughing. Quietly, under his breath. His own music.

"Be my boyfriend."

Kageyama's laugh disappeared. He looked at Hinata, vulnerable.

"I don't know how."

They were at the house, but Hinata didn't want to lose the sting in his ears from the cold or the heat pulsing in his hand. He lead Kageyama to the fence an opened the gate to the backyard.

"What are we doing?" Kageyama asked.

 _What_ are  _we doing?_ Hinata asked himself.

_What are we?_

Hinata picked the greenest patch of lawn under the moonlight and flopped back.

Kageyama was dragged with him. Hinata didn't want to let go of their hands.

"What the—" Kageyama tried to protest, but the wind was knocked out of him as he hit the ground.

"Let's look at the stars," Hinata said.

"Could have warned me," Kageyama grumbled.

"I'm afraid if we stop holding hands, it won't happen again."

Hinata felt brave in this moonlight.

"That's stupid," Kageyama said quickly. He squeezed Hinata's hand. "If you want it to, it will." Kageyama exhaled to the starts. "Is that what being a boyfriend means?"

Hinata's heart exploded to butterflies. He nodded in the grass.

"Why are we out here? It's cold."

"Stop being grumpy, Kageyama. It's romantic. I don't want tonight to end."

"It has to end at some point."

"But what if this is all a dream?"

"Are you an idiot?"

"You are ruining this for me," Hinata pouted. "You had that tantrum all for nothing."

Hinata didn't mean it. Kageyama said he would hold his hand again.

"Hinata…" Kageyama whispered. He adjusted his body so his face was better angled towards the other boy's. Hinata's eyes shone in the starlight. "I want to be your boyfriend, but I really don't—"

Kageyama's breath fell away as he brought his hand to Hinata's cheek and the curls that lay on the skin there, fine as silk.

God, how long had he wanted to do that?

"Kageyama," Hinata said, his eyes suddenly alive with determination. "Would you mind if someone else touched me like this?"

Kageyama's hand froze. The golden haze his body had been simmering in evaporated.

He didn't have to think. "Yes. I would… mind."

Hinata flushed. He kept prodding. "Would you want someone else to help you with your nightmares?"

Kageyama clenched his teeth. "Would  _you?"_

"No," Hinata whispered. "I wouldn't." Hinata touched the hand at his cheek.

There were suddenly headlights lancing through the cracks of the gate, the sound of tires grinding gravel. Hinata and Kageyama lunged for the back door of the house like they had been selling drugs rather than holding hands. Just as they'd settled into the couch again, Nanami's keys rattled at the front door.

"We're baaaaack!" Natsu sing-songed as she threw her coat to the floor and bounded over to the couch in her tutu. She stretched out across both Hinata and Kageyama's laps and immediately noticed their flushed faces and heavy breathing.

"Are you guys sick?" she asked, feeling Kageyama's face. "AH! It's cold!"

"We went for a walk," Hinata said, laughing nervously and looking at his mother. She was picking up Natsu's coat from the floor.

"You have to be careful, going out at this time of night!" Nanami scolded.

"We just went to play some volleyball," Hinata whined, though his words still came breathlessly.

"Well… I guess there's no helping that," she said, a smile on her lips as she pulled the sleeves of Natsu's coat right-side-out. "You two can't be separated from volleyball for more than two seconds."

"Or each other," Natsu said innocently.

Kageyama and Hinata flushed several shades of red.

"O-Only two more days of vacation left," Hinata supplied, changing the subject. "Then we don't have to worry about you bothering us anymore." He took one hand off of his game controller and poked his sister's cheek. Her head was on his leg, and her feet were stretched across Kageyama's lap.

"WHAT?!" Natsu bolted upright. "Two more days?" She looked from her brother to Kageyama desperately.

"Oh shut up," Hinata said. "It's not like you're not gonna see—"

He was cut off by his sister violently shoving him back into the couch by his head.

"I don't care about seeing  _you,_ stupid!" Her hands had covered his mouth and knocked him back with sudden force.

While Hinata tried to recover from the sudden blow, Natsu threw her arms around Kageyama's neck.

Kageyama dropped the controller in surprise.

"I better see you again!" she sniffled. "You're my prince, after all."

Kageyama's earlier episode seemed so childish in light of Natsu clinging to him. This family  _did_ care. Maybe that's why it had been hurting him so much—why he didn't want it to be true. Other families he'd cycled through were just glad he wasn't trouble. Their focus wasn't on him, a foster kid who didn't talk and actually behaved. Sure, in the beginning, adults always tried to build rapport. But that energy eventually had to be placed elsewhere.

In Hinata's home, the attention, the attachment, the  _love—_ it was all focused on him in a concentrated laser, burning hot.

Kageyama hugged Natsu back, wondering, not for the first time that night, how he could have been wrong about so many things.

"Natsu, we still have two days. He's not leaving this second." Hinata's voice softened. "Besides, Kageyama is my… best friend. He'll definitely come over again. Right?"

All Kageyama could do was nod. His grip on Natsu tightened, and Hinata saw in his face, scrunched up and ugly, that Kageyama wanted to cry again. Engulfed in a pink tutu-clad girl and on the verge of tears, Hinata's heart felt swollen.

 _He's surprisingly quick to cry,_ Hinata mused, a small smile on his face.

Natsu released her grip and wiped her eyes with her palms. "So you're gonna come over again to play sometime?"

Kageyama nodded. "Yeah. And you should come to some of our games, too, with your mom."

Natsu nodded.

"Alright, Natsu, time for bed." Nanami put her arms out to her daughter.

 _How long had she been watching?_ Kageyama wondered, helping Natsu off the couch.

"You too, boys," she said, eyeing them with a knowing look.

Hinata groaned, but began powering off the system. Before Natsu padded off, she pecked Hinata on the cheek, and then Kageyama. Hinata thought nothing of it, but Kageyama pressed his hand to the spot in wonder.

"Good night!" she said.

"Oh no you don't," Nanami chided, "you have to brush your teeth first…"

The two left the living room and Hinata and Kageyama reluctantly made their way to the bedroom in silence. A lot had happened in the day—mostly within the last hour—and it stretched out in the space between them like a chasm they had to jump. A wall of blockers they had to spike past.

Hinata was the first to try, naturally. He shut the door behind them and began shedding his clothes, leaping into his pj's abnormally fast. "I told you my sister felt that way," he began, pulling a shirt over his head and turning on his bedside lamp for better lighting.

"Don't start," Kageyama grumbled. He didn't even dare change, standing in the middle of the room with his arms crossed. It was his way of trying to keep his heart from beating through his shirt.

"Why not?" Hinata asked innocently, flopping back on his sheets.

Kageyama sighed. He reluctantly began to change. "A lot happened today, so let's just…"

"I'm not going to forget about it, so if that's what you're going to say, don't."

"No, not forget." Kageyama shook his head. "Just… put on hold." He whisked his shirt off and reached around in his bag for a comfy pj shirt.

Kageyama's back glowed in the light of the lamp. Only a freshman, and he already had muscles flexing easily in his back, an astonishing breadth in his shoulders. Hinata felt that in every possible area, he grew farther apart from Kageyama, just as he thought he was getting closer. Hinata's eyes were lidded, thoughtful. Kageyama was still searching.

"Here," Hinata said, throwing Kageyama a shirt. It was the one he'd been wearing to bed the first few nights they'd gotten there. Kageyama caught it easily and recognized it at once.

"Dumbass, you've been wearing this. It's probably dirty."

"Stop being picky. I just slept in it, that's all. It's not like it's one of my practice shirts."

Kageyama sniffed it carefully before pulling it on. He would never admit it, but he liked that it had his roommate's smell.

His best friend's smell?

His  _boyfreind's_ smell?

Kageyama was happy, but above all, he was tired and confused. He wanted to think more on things after being through an emotional washing machine. He rubbed his eyes.

"Hey, come here."

Kageyama froze. He turned towards Hinata to find the boy scooting over in his twin bed and patting the mattress next to him.

"C'mon, Kageyama," Hinata whined. He stuck his bottom lip out dramatically.

"Is that a good idea?" Kageyama asked honestly.

"Why? Are you gonna do something to me?"

Kageyama blushed profusely.

"See? You're too innocent. I'm tired, you're tired, and we should just stop pretending that this is an accident."

"Accident?"

"Sleeping together."

Kageyama's blush deepened. He inched his way to the bed, slowly, cautiously.

"Kageyama." Hinata's voice was impossibly soft, dredging up feelings of Hinata asking Kageyama to be his, chasing after him when he didn't know he needed it, all of Hinata's small kindnesses.

"Okay," he conceded. Kageyama slowly slid beside Hinata and surrendered himself to the boy next to him, his smell, his amber eyes.

To his surprise, Hinata snuggled closer, into Kageyama's chest, without hesitance. Kageyama struggled to breathe as the boy's hair tickled his skin.

"What are you doing?"

"Getting comfortable," Hinata giggled. "Here, put your hand over here."

Hinata placed one of Kageyama's arms closer to the pillow, stretching it out and giving Hinata a crook in which he could snuggle deeper. Kageyama was on his side, and he started to relax. His exhaustion was pulling him under. Hinata's smell drowned him in comfort and without thinking, he was putting his other arm around the boy, pulling him closer.

"I like you," he found himself muttering, his nose nuzzling Hinata's hair.

"I like you too," Hinata said back, his voice thick with happiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed guys, I was feeling major writer's block for this one. Only two chapters left and I'm still not sure what I'll put in the end, so tags may change!


End file.
